The HAWK

Legend has it in the Native American world of symbols that the Hawk as your guide is one of insight.
Sabrina had claimed him eons ago when we went to Native American lectures.
Sabrina has a connection with our Natives.
Whenever she passed out when she was a child she would start rambling of all the Indians and the wagons around in a circle and she was petrified. At first we thought she had seen to many cowboy and Indian movies but it happened over and over again when she was totally out of it.
My aunt had a stroke and one arm lame, Brie touched her arm and fainted on the spot and started her story all over again.
Later on in hypnosis she found out she had been an Indian warrior.
So she continues to accept her hawk.

About 20 years ago ,I was washing dishes in the sink and looking out to my hedge right in front of me and there landed the biggest bird I had seen close up in the wild. He looked at me and I was happy that a window separated us. His look was not inviting and the beak was awesome. My bird book is right at my sink so I quietly moved to see what that was. I have been watching birds forever in my yard. He did not move he just looked into the window, perhaps he saw himself in the reflection perhaps he was wondering
what a strange bird I was op close. I was thinking an eagle but soon found him as a red hawk. He was there for a long stretch and was in a trance over him. When he flew away he looked even more spectacular.
I can still remember the scene. Nature boy, Frank, said that they do not come often in a town situation with all the traffic and less greenery and forest.

So a couple of days ago I walk Bijou early and I always check out what birds are flying about , I love the chickadees who visit our feeders and a titmouse or two. Our streets are narrow, so I can see the dead tree in front of next small street.
That tree is so neglected and the owner is not removing it. I watch it all the time as for sure one day it will come down and hit the house in front of me, maybe even part of ours. It was a very grey morning and about 8 am. The dead tree is nothing but black bark with long branches sticking out all around the trunk, it is very tall must have been a pine (I think).
So I look up and see a LARGE bird , I stop in my tracks and get closer, he is facing me but still high up. His belly seems like all white feathers. I am thinking an owl, we have them around the house. This was one giant owl. He does not move. Neither do I.
Bijou is pulling on the leash he had no interest in birds. I ignore Bijou. The bird start to clean his feathers and now I see
that he is white and brownish mixed on the belly and I see his head clearly, not an owl, a hawk, a bird of prey, no doubt in my mind. I quietly go back home much to the chagrin of Bijou with a full bladder, and I grab my camera. Would you not know it, the battery was dead. I gave up went back outside and HE was still there.

I gave up and took Bijou for his usual tour of trees and mud puddles he loves.
Upon our return at least 20 minutes had passed and HE was still there.
I went into the house trying to see if I could quickly charge the battery but no such luck.
From my computer I could still see him and I was happy. I was telling myself that I had to see him fly away.
I started to type and poof he was gone and I missed it.

I had the nerve to tell myself that he was going to come back and greet me.
My camera would be ready.
Next day I got out in the afternoon with the while Maltese dragging me all over the place and I was so exhausted,
I look up at the tree and there HE is, this time his back at me.
Ran into the house forgetting my fatigue and started to shoot photos.


Here he is:

I watched till he flew away in a ballet move of wings and grace.
This one much larger then the one I saw years ago.
I will continue to look for him. He must like that tree even when the ravens come to sit close to him and make their loud objections heard. They too love that tree and come there every day sometimes 2 but most of the time 3 at a time.
Life is great when one has the time to look around and stop.

a new milestone in the Catholic church.

I looked at the latest on my FB page and saw a small notice from the BBC and my pal in the UK.
It said that the Pope was resigning.
I checked to make sure we were not April 1st.
I thought I had missed a bunch of Rome's news as this could not just come out of the blue.
I wrote"Surprise?"

It turned out it was. The Cardinal from NY was on the news and told us that his secretary told him when he went into his office.
He just said he had to sit down. He could not believe it.
The church has to deal with a lot these days not the least of it the pedophile charges all over the place.
Less people filling the chairs...more Catholic schools closing at least in the USA and the list goes on and on.
My mother was a kid in a catholic convent from age 3 to 18.
She did not go to church very often anymore in the last 3 or 4 decades of her life not even on Easter. When she passed on the priest said to me that he did not know that woman. Was not sure if she belonged to his parish. I told him she lived for decades around the corner of his church. Evidently he had not tried to find his parishers either. After much talk he let her come into the church for her final trip.
I was a bit out of shape with him, at the end he did well by us. But I was thinking today that she had little use for the Popes, she said over and over again that the good one had been poisoned for sure even so it was never declared so. I can't remember which one it was, anyway during her life time. She did not know about this new one, she had already left us, I have an idea she would not have liked him either. She wanted more changes and I think a lot of people would still agree with her.

The changes are not going to come as I heard Cockie Roberts explain that the Cardinals of choice for the most part
were accepted under this Pope or the one right before all with similar convictions, not a rebel in the bunch.
Several Catholics in interviews would like to see someone from Africa for a change. It worked for a President so why not?

I am confused that he made this proclamation 2 days before Lent. Easter looming in the horizon. The sudden announcement and more so the timing. I will leave Feb 28th. That is like 2 weeks away, why not do it after Easter?
To look at his face one can see that he is not well. He has aged a lot in the last 5 years. They say he can hardly walk.

This evening the talk on the news was how to go into unsailed waters...what to call him after this. What to do with the Papal ring (usually being smashed) , is he still a Holy man? questions were everywhere. a lot will remain to be seen on how the rest of his Vatican people will vote and make up new rules as they go.
I have my doubts that he did this on his free will.
Does he have dementia? Could he still deliver his speech in latin if he does? Could he not be in his bed during a bad illness and give the orders to his people in charge?
Did the book from his secretary make a dent? Did the HBO show make a difference?
The secrecy in the Vatican is legend so we may never know what is going on.
I thought I read that he wanted his last days in Bavaria, quiet and in prayer. Then they showed the apartment which is of course in the same buildings in the Vatican.

The next Pope comes in with a load full of work and more and more controversy.

I have left the church decades ago, I would never have been able to marry the love of my life.
We were married at the Unity Church in Santa Cruz cal.44 years tomorrow.
Bob said there was only one day in the year which suited him for our wedding and it was Valentines day.
Happy 44 wherever you are Papa K.

The Immigrant

I worked with a woman from Mexico, she spoke French and Spanish and was learning English from a private tutor who wanted to help her (free lessons). English did not come easy to her but she did not give up.

She and her husband wanted to come the USA like your grandparents, parents and family did.
They wanted their children educated in our universities.
She is a quiet lady, did not sit in the lunch room joining the latest gossip and kept her life very private.
Her work ethic was the best. I was the auditor in the store and had to take the phone calls before we opened and we could bet on the calls we would get on Mondays and Saturdays...."I have the flue" (read:>"hangover") ,my this and that is hurting I can't come in , (read: party tonight I have to get ready in time).
Never a call from her. She was there when she was supposed to be and quickly behind the counter rearranging.

Then her husband had Colon cancer and one could read the worry on her face.
Fortunately he is free of cancer as I write this.

A couple of time this past month I went into the store, she was behind the cash register very busy and smiling.
Waving at me. I noticed she had a new haircut and it was very well styled, daughter said to me :"Mom, I think it is a wig"
My stomach went into a knot. A wig? really a wig? I don't think so she always has this thick black hair, it is just shorter.
I did not want to know the reality. Cancer is now a word we live with since Zack became ill. To me a wig means cancer unless you watch Bravo and see all these ladies with different wigs every week.

So a few days ago we went back, daughter and I, there was the lady working and talking with customers with big smiles and eyes shining with friendly greetings. I noticed right away that her face seemed smaller and sort of yellow in color.
I was alarmed. My ex manager took me into the lunch room and told me the story.

The lady had a complete mastectomy 3 years ago, kept it silent at work.
Had gone to Mexico to see some relatives and came right back to work.
Then she decided at some point to get a wig like her old style.
Told her co-workers what the problem was and wanted her privacy to be intact.
Doctors found it had spread in the bones and other organs, it is terminal.

The store had a special fund for such cases and the workers added quite a large sum to give to this lady as a goodbye gift.
She refused several times. A shock to her co-workers, she was gracious about it and asked that she just could continue to do her work as usual with the time out for her chemo (now a new chemo fresh on the market) .No one could believe that she refused the gift.

I could hardly leave the store without crying.
Yes, she was an immigrant, legal or not I do not care. Yes ,the store had hired her and yes she is doing a marvelous job, always has. An example for all of us.
She and her husband contributed to also give us 2 adults both with a degree in nursing and teaching.
We, Americans, are to be grateful.

I am an immigrant, I became a US Citizen, I have 3 American children and 6 grandsons.
I am proud of my little tribe, all are terrific Americans and contribute to this country to the best of their knowledge.

The people who want to be here have an agenda to get a better life for themselves and their children.
I am very happy to know the very lovely M.

loving the water feature

Now it is a winter mess and soon will be cleaned out but I just do not see any of the fishes I have left.....think no more...this morning this gorgeous large bird flies over my head...a grey heron. Me thinks he had breakfast.
He could have gone to Long John SIlver.....with a lot of ponds covered with ice every other day he was looking for new territory.......

Think he found it.

No new fish coming in until May!!!!!Put that on your calendar Mister Heron.

I love a mother like that...

I heard this tale and thought I'd write about it.
It is about a very smart woman-mother.
She has a young lad who had a birthday and did receive several gifts of money.
She also knows he has a lazy disposition at times.
Not so lazy that he would take the money and run to the store to get what he
needs for his vehicle.
So the mother decided to nip this in the "butt".
She asked for the money, the lad put it on the table with a big frown.
He wondered what she would do with his stash and worried that he perhaps owed her
that much and he forgot.
The mother gently said: "This money stays here until I see the "thank you " notes to
the people who were so generous with you.
Within five minutes if not less, the notes were on the table all ready and set for the mailman.
The young man grabbed his bills, counted them again, and flew out the door to get to the auto shop
when they would open.

I am of a generation when we did write "Thank You" notes but often these days the parents forget to
enforce this. When a kid writes :"I do not like" Walmart gift cards" I never go there then you may be sure he
will not see another one coming from me.
When they get a present and say :"I thought it would be something else". He or she is on my list too.
Kids to day are so spoiled with enormous expensive gits in the electronic vain and expect all the time to get
one bigger or better and the cost does not enter their mind.
I am just griping this is not for my family in fact I forgot to give one grandson his Christmas gift, yikes,
he probably will be surprised when he gets it on Valentine's day.

So I am, into books, who would have ever thought....

Within my Fire Kindle I discovered this time that there were books I wanted to read besides fluff and romance.
I remember Bob and I have discussions over the French Revolution, I think he read all he could about it.
A "psychic" told us a long time ago that we were together during that time and I mistreated him.....is that the reason that he gave me 13 years of heart ache when he was ill with dementia? Soit, who knows. C'est la vie.

So I had read Mme Bovary eons ago and reread that. I knew the ending, during that period they all had to have a pinch of arsenic in the books or it was not worth writing.It was just a bit of fluff that got me in the mood for history rather than novels.

Then I thought I would get into the Louis's.
I saw that Kindle had a series of memoirs on our celebrity of that day and picked Louis XIV.
Memoirs written by Duc Louis de Rouvroy Saint Simon.
The first volume was like reading the telephone book of nobility and bastard children.
I doubted I was going to finish the book.
Then I got involved with some intrigue and the battle in Namur against the Prince d'Orange.
Of course Belgium as a country was still far away, at this point in time this is the Low Country.

I started to remember who was the "prince of the blood" and who were the bastards so loved by the Prince.
The church (Catholic) at that time was also playing enormous roles.
Not to even mention the mistresses.
The whole set of intrigue, poisons, secret love, arranged marriages to 13 year olds , protocol, castles here and there ,writers like Racine and priest such as Pierre Lachaise.
Just so much to learn again even if I had a bit in school it was mostly about this King or Queen Died and this and that one took over after a fight or with support.....

The writer had written for years and years and had thousands upon thousands of sheets with the accounts of the court ,
it is said that his documents are still in Versailles.

Finished volume one (it stopped rather abruptly) I needed a little bit more so ordered Volume 2. (all these are Free on Kindle)
After number 2 I ventured to order more so now on Book 5, I am wondering if I will finish the whole series and I think it is 11 or 12 of them. Right now I find it very interesting. Old Bob was right but then he was a Royalist lost in America.

After that there is still so many years to catch up with ......who know where I will end up.

Cel phones and more.....

When I had the stores I had a cell phone, must have been in the late 1990's. It was a simple instrument, I could call and receive calls....No texting, no Facebook, no pictures....I loved it, I just could touch home and see what I needed to do next.

Fast forward to last Christmas when Brie gave me a phone. She said it is a simple one...yeh right..not like mine she said...just so you can call us if outside and in trouble. Oh but it does take pictures. ...Fine delighted......

Then I tried to send a text...I was lost, was pushing wrong buttons, was calling people I did not know...so my tail between my legs I go to son and admit I am not a nerd (well he knew THAT) and ask how can I text. He took my lovely phone in his hands and frowned...."Let me see, Mom" ...time passes...."What you do, Mom,......damn if I remember, I had one of these 5 years ago but I forget on how to use it....you see mine is so much simpler and I can read my emails and go on Facebook, text in different ways then yours ...." So now what? Do not text just write them an email or call...you can do that, right????

SO...between 1998 and 2013 there is a world of difference??????????I do not even know what a blackbird, Android, and Apple,or a Pear means anymore...if I can't eat it I let it be for the NERDS with money!!!!!