Frugal

Frugal is a word that is missing in my dictionary.
I was reminded of that this morning when I saw an interview with
Suzie Ohrman or Orman.
She is the money goddess with advice for everyone.
On TV she gave me food for thought...how long will the thought last??????????
well till the next visit at a jewelry counter anyway.
This blonde who said that she is now worth in the 8 figures said that the
earrings she was wearing were the only pair she owned.
She did not need 2 pairs. She had one pair and that is all she needs in life.
That sounded truly scary to me.
I have mine on hooks so I went and took a quick count on how much
money I have hanging on the wall.
Well, since I do not buy diamonds nor gold , it did not amount to a great fortune
perhaps a great meal with friends at an expensive restaurant.
I am beginning to wonder if we ladies, girls, in all of the USA, leave out everything else,
if we would just have one pair of earrings what would happen to the jewelry industry?
In the store where I work we sell plenty of them.
Would I then have my hours cut or my job cut because that is a loss of sales?
Yikes.
Told my daughter and she answered:
Mom, you should email Suzan O and ask her why we need 3 of her books which
I have on the shelve? Maybe one would be enough!
Suzan and her partner also live in a modest house in San Fran.
of course today to buy a modest house in San Francisco you still need a lot of dough.
So I decided that just for today I would not look at another earring.
Maybe not even tomorrow ........there is hope to become more frugal....
until ............never mind.

Hubby has been sleeping a lot lately, he is losing steam so I worry.
Of course I was born worrying.
Son is a level headed guy and tries to get me to stop making up things to worry about.

It has been hot again and I am delighted to have drivers to take me to and fro work.
The garden is doing very well , I have my share of flowers and had a great, great load of cherries. The sour kind for pies. What a job to pit them! Yikes.
First time ever that I have success with lupins and they are a memory to my grandfather's garden. He had bunches and bunches of them. They grow well in Belgium/
here I needed something for them, forgot what it was. Anyway it is working.

Time to get to bed, I am worn out today and have to work all week except for 1 dayoff.

Let there be Peace................

SLowly , ever so slowly I am finding some peace within.
The last month was truly trying.
I am finding that like old Bob used to be. I do not do "saying goodbye forever" very well.
I am not stoic, I do not stay quiet about it, and tears come more quickly the older you get.
At least so in my case.
But this week I am starting to think more ahead and less on what could have been.
After all I have been living with "what could have been" for 10 years and it is time
to think of what today is and perhaps there is a tomorrow to enjoy too.
Son had been snow white complected for weeks now and today I saw some color
in his face.
He is getting his bedroom ready and I am moving out so much junk.
Gosh if I was on one of these shows they would throw away the whole lot.
Being addicted to eBay and trying to stay in the retail game to make a few bucks
is hard to forget.
3 PeoplE at work are on vacation or sick, one needing knee surgery so we
are on a skeleton crew but we had to cut hours anyway in payroll.
I have to admit that I am beginning to think of the time when I can retire and just be a house wife, sounds really grand right now.
Old B is doing a lot of wandering around the house, goes to lay down on the bed and comes back out after 10 minutes, walks a bit and goes back to bed for 10 minutes and starts the
whole thing all over again.

Had a very nice lunch with L and C and they let me talk.
Do I give them a chance to interfere with my stories? Of course not.
If you read this, guys, thanks for the therapy
do not send me a bill.

I am going to the cemetary often and start to throw out the flowers
which are faded. Toto was very bad and peed on her flowers
and after I scolded him I thought how she would think this extremely
funny. That is the way she was .

She is at peace and now I got to work on it too and so it will be.
I do not want to spend money on doctors, just trips.
Bon soir , girl, maybe one day I will go to Bulgaria which was your dream.

Trip to Boy Scout Camp

B looked so sad yesterday. Daughter and I were scheduled to drive 3 1.2 hours to a Boy Scout Camp to visit the grandson. I asked B if he wanted to go for a long ride and his eyes began to sparkle. Getting dressed appropriately is a big issue now so we had to think that one out.
He gets cold so fast now when we are sweating. After awhile he decided it was not worth the trouble and announced that he'd rather be home.
He said he did not feel well and he did not look well.
Then starts the guilt, should I leave him or not?
My son told me to go and enjoy the ride as he would watch him with care.
That helps but does not relieve me of the black thoughts :"what if he got sick while I am gone? worse yet what if he died?
on the other hand there is the need to get away.
Daughters ask "mom do you want to go with me?"I do not ask where and answer:
Yes and yes.
The conflict about wanting to get out of the house and the need to watch him all the time
is an enormous conflict even now with son being here 24/7.
It was a gorgeous ride towards Mayberry (yes that Mayberry) the mountains were gorgeous and we drove into never never land.
Gosh I hope the Scouts to be well equipped to find their way.
Grandson was moping. He wanted to see us but he also wanted to go home with us.
His Mom did not see it his way.
A few tears, a camping dinner, more tears and then finally the goodbye.
Come to think of it he never did hug me goodbye.
Ride back and getting dark so I am getting this gadget thrown into my lap and
watch a movie. Swell. Now I get to see something like 13 going on 30.
A chick flick, but it gets me home without thinking of the winding road over
40. Do not like it! The moon was full and gorgeous and looking out for us.
Came home about 11 and found out that son had ordered pizza so they did get fed!!!
B in bed snoring never remembered I had been gone.
C'est la vie !

Goodbye to Ari

Dear Ari,
Yesterday was our day to say goodbye to you.
One by one the cars came to the old cemetary.
A green rug had been laid out and the antique box was on
a small stand.
Quite a few people came who I did not know.
Then I saw Dusty, his shoulders drooping, his eyes hidden behind sun glasses.
The Tattoo shop must have been empty, they were all there.
More sunglasses.
Chris Hudson and his wife but they stood at different ends
you know things are not working out well there.
The Edwards came and Sabrina found out that she had been working
with some of the people and even taught guitar to one of them.
Small world.
Jimmy and Nick were there too, they looked very preppy, black tops and khaki's
Nick even took a shower.
It was a little past 2 when the vans came and the wheelchairs came running down the hill
towards you.
My heart stopped for a second. My knees grew weaker and I thought this is what
Ari is all about , this is her family.
Your Mom came last and could barely walk. What a broken heart.
The testimonials flowed one after the other.
You would have been embarrassed but they were all truths.
No one had to make up bullshit for you like they often do at funerals.
The words came from our hearts , the words came flowing from our gratitude to
have known you.
Bob managed to talk and said you were his best friend.
He will need a lot of mending but he will do it.
Oscar is in Texas and I think it probably was better for him not to
have been there.
a 9 year old has a different view of it all , we would not be able to shield him from
long lasting memories.
I saw even the funeral man have a tear or two and he has seen it all.
It was all very , very touching, we all were together to say goodbye yet
we all knew that we were better people because we had known you.
Au revoir my dear but I know we will meet again in a much better place.
Love you and will always remember you as the girl with the golden heart.
A heart which was tattooed with the words that we are all here equal
and we all need love, you knew that when some of us did not.
Behave there with the angels and please do not ask for sterling wings.
Meme

The heatwave

Went to Dallas this past week end.
Flew there, picked up 3 cats and one dog , packed A's car and returned immediately on
a 1100 miles journey home.
We ate fast food so we would not leave the animals alone and found a friendly pet motel at
Howard Johnsons.
The ride on Sunday took 15 hours and we are still paying the piper.
My head is spinning from the ride.
The two Bob's alone at home had their own adventure , there was the 82 birthday
and daughter 1 came with a cake and balloon.
Old B asked her to write her name down as he was going to frame it.
He managed to overflow the sink so we needed boogie boards to navigate the kitchen
(I was told) and he never figured out that I was gone.
I worried like the mother hen I am but they did fine without me.
I for one could have used another night on the road in a motel and a bit more rest.
The animals were sweethearts.
We found homes for the cats but the old dog named "Courage" is withus.
That is now a three some of dogs and they seem to think that following me
is what they are supposed to do.
It will take some time to get used to that menagerie.
Fortunately they are all house broken.
The Corgy is the only one who wants all the food bowls for herself, all 3 of them.
I am not back at work, too tired.
Too hot!!!!!kitchen is 85 degrees

The box with an A

Final stage will be June 14.
Son wants it private, will call people if they wish to come and say
a few words or just be there.
I had this antique tea caddy which is quite beautiful , inlaid with mother of pearl.
A liked boxes, I gave her quite a few and so did my son.
Somehow I could not get myself to let go last Christmas and give her the box.
It was strange as I am a giver by nature and why did I want to keep this?
When we viewed the cremation boxes we were not impressed.
Hate the thought that there is again an internment but her son wants a place
with Saint Francis on like they did with the cat. He is 9.
So the ashes will be buried in a box.
As I dug up the antique jewel my son looked at it and said:
Mom, did you see the Initial?
I had this box for about 25 years and never saw an initial before.
Never paid attention to it.
There as plain as anything was an "A".
My hair was standing up in my neck.
There was no doubt to any of us that this was to be her box.

Friend at the store lined it with white satin and made a pocket in lace and embroidery to put the bag with ashes into it.
I just could not do the lining and I was happy that someone would do it for me.

Son does not want flowers but donations to some animal site are welcome,
I am so old school I want to bring a bouquet of roses, I can't bear to see
an empty plot. My daughter said I must abide with my sons wishes.
I just do not know.
June 14 will be a sad day for a goodbye and then every day is a sad day for goodbyes,

Going to big D

It is hot and sticky and my old house does not have a/c but the fans are
whirling like mini tornadoes in the room creating my paperwork to go flying about.
Could no sleep well and son was up all night. He has problems with the heat
and was spoiled with having air the last years.

I am leaving with S tomorrow for Dallas Texas.
We are flying from Charlotte and returning with A's car.
Not just the car, son would have left it there for whatever charity but
to my son , animals are more important than most people.
The animals had been put in a shelter and B. would have none of it.
Enter : volunteers.
S and I like to fix the world, she now is taking on my mantra and
does it more than I ever did.
So on our way we will be and bring back in one small car:
One rather large dog, pedigree non existent and 3 cats.
One cat is a prima dona and another one has had so many surgeries
with half a colon still working, she is the sweetest but messiest.
Would you like to have the motel room next to us.?
Add to this that S brought this menagerie to Texas last October.
The shelter was about to let them all go to sleep when son found them.
He is elated.
How will I feel with dog number 3?
The jury is still out.
I was that way when the Corgy came with son a few months ago
(to help me out) now I am a slave to the Corgy.
The Queen of England with her entourage of Corgy's no doubt feels the same way.
Now my question is:
If it is hot here how hot is it in Texas?
Do not answer that.

I said it before, I got rid of the dining room stuff.
Put my table along the sidewalk and within minutes a lady needed it.
Goodwill etc... come and get things when they feel like I
just make short history of it.
My dining room chairs were handcarved in oak and belonged to my
grandfather who had exchanged sugar for them in WW!
yed the first one.
Grandfather was foreman in a sugar factory in Belgium (beets)
and he wanted nice chairs hence the barter.
My mother got them when she married in 1929 and I dusted these
things for most of my 76 years.
I wrote an email to daughters : do you want 3 chairs each or I sell them.
Emails never were answered with such speed.
Yes and yes.
So now I am making the dining room in a little office/salon.
Does "SALON" not sound grand?
Well, I have enough fauteuils to fill it.
My old office will be returned to its previous owner, my son.
It will take me a few, no telling what I all stored in there since I started eBay 11 years ago.

Son put in my new Staples desk in a corner , so now I kill 2 birds with one stone,
from this vantage point I can see the kitchen and spy on old Bob and
I can see the birdfeeder and admire the bright colored friends who eat me out of
dollars and "sense".

Wish me luck with this transformation and a trip to my least favorite city "Dallas".
Why could it not have been San Francisco? Or ......................
It is what it is.

PS not happy with the Stanley cup going to Detroit either.
not happy at all

and life goes on,

It seems that the days blend into each other and I wake up and say:
June 3 ? where did May go?
I look at my stack of May mail, untouched.
The bank account not checked.
Probably on empty like my head.
I guess I have been in a state of a different consciousness where bills and
checks and money just do not matter.
Then it hits you "Important notice or we cancel,,,bla blah blah..............
Life must go on.
We cant mope, we have to pick up the pieces and work the puzzle of life.
It is a crazy quilt and we just added a corner with lots of lace and sterling trinkets, memories of a young woman who entered our life for a purpose.
For me she thaught me that the world is not made up with gorgeous people
all size 2 and forever young.
She thaught me that there is a large world out there with people who have mental problems, who live a whole life with an illness which does not permit them to walk,
who are cripple so their crippled hands will take 2 hours to finish a lunch but they finish it with their dignity to be able to still to that much.
People who can't do a simple task like going to the bathroom by themselves.
She showed me that mentally challenged people can fall in love, can love animals, can
crave french fries , can believe in God or believe in nothing.
She gave me an insight to a world I did not know.
Children who have Prade Willi, a disease which makes them feel hungry from the moment they wake up till it is bed time. Imagine always being hungry to the point you will eat hair,
paper etc..... I never knew this existed , not in my world.
Where had I been for 7 decades?
For sure this girl and her words will be with me forever , she made an inpact in my life.
She told me to fight this system of ours which does not see the needs of such people.
She had more compassion in her silver ring lined little pinky than most of us and yet she struggled with her own demons and could not always be helped.

The only time we had an argument was when I worked for her and used the wrong color pen, she would say : Not again, Meme, black, black , black, we only use black pens!
To this day when I use a blue pen I am thinking about that.

I guess I better stop yacking and see if I can get my numbers head on and start writing some very overdue bills, with a black pen.

The machine goes on..............

Yes, I am beginning to feel like a machine.
I no longer can fix everything even so I once thought so.
I can't change anything for my son who now can't face the title "widower"
at age 35.
We have yet to have the memorial and I am beginning to be unraveled.
I honestly do not know where I get it to get up in the morning and go to
work and or start the household chores.
Old Bob 's behavior for the moment is in the background that does not mean
that I am so po'd at him that he cut all the branches on my grapevine.
They had grapes for the first time!
And I was beaming.
He broke his housekey in the car lock yesterday.
We are now covering the car which cost 20.00 and I wonder why we did
not think of that before. (the cover)
Will he peak under the cover?
My house is topsy turvy with stuff coming in from my son's life.
I am trying to give him back his old room.
So sorting out what I no longer need and figuring out that I too became a packrat.
I do everything on automation
Son said that even when I garden I do it with so much tension , I should enjoy the gardening, he tells me and yet when he watches me I am like a machine, must do now, must finish by 5, must water now.
Son is not doing well at all. He keeps everything inside and shows this strong front which leaks with anger.
If I do not learn to "take it easy" (hate these words) I am going to be in trouble.
BP is up way up for both son and I while old B has a normal BP.
Of course he does not know what goes on , not any of it.

After a very emotional week I am starting to breath again with a more relaxed rhythm
Told a friend that I wanted things normal again when all I had to worry about was coping with Alzheimer. My friend thought I was loony.

We still do not have the final resting place in order for my daughter in law.
Cremating and sending to a different state seems to be taking time.
I thought this talk about "closure" was bananas but right now we need closure.
All of us do.

So here I am getting again on my soap box.
Please if you read this , listen, no matter how young or old you are, if you are an adult for
heavens sake write down what you would like to be done in case you are no longer here
and can't have a voice in how you want to be buried, and what you want to be done
with what you leave.
Be it about the future of your children.
About your assets even if all you have is a pair of walking shoes.
Your dog , your cat and the vase from Aunt Mabel.
Please , please, make a will, write a will, write down all you think the people left behind should know.
I have been in the estate business for 3 decades, handled dozens of estate sales for lawyers and even the court system.
In all my years I only found one family who did not argue about anything.
One family among dozens.
You may not think anyone would want the old pair of walking shoes but think again as one or two will show up and say "I need to have this for a souvenir of him/her" and the second one will say I am older by one day and should be in line first to get the smelly shoe.
Funny? Do not kid yourself, I have seen battles involving third and fourth cousins who showed up out of nowhere.
Pick a lawyer with better care than you would pick your plastic surgeon, believe me, there are so many crooks out there. I have seen them manage to dwindle down your jewelry collection till all is left is something you bought at Woolworth the dime store.
If you do anything for your future then please bring your affairs in order now and all will be done the way you would like it.

Santa Cruz Mountains in trouble

The week has gone by like in a fog.
I did not work until today and was lucky that I could still add figures without
messing up.
The reality of our loss has yet to hit us.
We function to a certain degree.
Make pancakes, walk the dogs, plant some more lobelias and sit in a chair outside just staring at birds and squirrels not really thinking.
I forget about the work needed inside the house.
I forget to write that important insurance check.
I just think about how the people in my life are leaving.
But a young person's loss seems so much harder to take.

Had a call from Santa Cruz, my Paradise from the late sixties, the Santa Cruz Mountains are on fire. I lived there 7 years and how I loved the small villages, Boulder Creek,
Ben Lomond, Brookdale ................
Of all the decades that I lived in the US that part of the world is paradise.
I no longer have my friends there, Mary, Kathy, Georgina, April, all gone to a better place,
two of them had breast cancer.
Where has the time gone when we walked along Highway 9 from village to village.
The house we lived in had been eaten up by fire 3 decades ago and now the mountains
are being eaten up by fire. I think there still is only one road out of there and that is 9
to Felton.
No one to call anymore "Hey are you ok?"
How many of the gorgeous red wood trees will be gone and when will nature take over again and sprout some new ones.?
I do not think I ever worried about a fire back then but had my share of fear of the earth quakes. The slightest rumble made the dishes rattle and before I knew which way to get out of the house it would be over. St Andreas vault.
I dont think I will get back there again.
Paradise has changed , you need to be very wealthy to afford to live there.

Now I wish I could get some sleep, I work this week end but look forward to a flower festival in town. Lets see what plant I absolutely need and a MUST HAVE.

A bad time for us

There is no getting around to loss of a friend which happened a few months ago.
It lingers and lingers, you think of what he had said at a certain time,
you remember funny times and sad times and you feel like you should
get in touch this very minute but ..................he is not longer with us.

So, two days ago, it struck us much closer.
My 32 year old daughter in law , left us , unexpectedly.
Leaving behind a 9 year old and a husband with a broken heart.
Mother and Father having only one child having to face their loneliness

We are all in a shock state.
I keep thinking there is a mistake, someone made a mistake.
She was with us just a couple of days before and she had
to return to Texas where her child goes to a special school.

Funeral arrangements were done today.
Phone calls on 2 phones are going non stop.
She had a master degree in psychology and her specialty was
about children with major problems.
The calls come to us from the many, many parents she had helped.
The nights she stayed with them when a child was sick.
The times she took a baby who was so beaten that she hardly had a
brain left and cared for her and the foster mother for years and years.
We had planned a very low key graveside family funeral but we
had nothing but calls and people telling us:
"do not leave us out, we want to be there, we want to say goodbye to her"
I think in her short life she has done so much good and she became
an advocate for the mentally challenged , went to Raleigh to fight for them.
I think for a long time to come we are going to think about her.
No doubt she is hanging around the angels and may even earn some wings
for herself. Watch out Angels she had a penchant for silver and she may
want silver wings.
Good night girl, you are missed.

On my soap box

I was answering some question on the WOW.COM about Alzheimer and the cost of it.
Some unknown person answered me that my husband AND I could possibly be eligible
for a pension from the VA.
Now we have been to the VA several times and I spoke to a social worker several times,
all what was offered us are a couple of mornings in a program for A but 20 miles away from us.
Since I do not drive this is not much of a solution.
I was dumbfounded that someone suggestion a pension.
I thought this to be impossible.
Went to the site http://www.veteranaid.org/
Indeed there it was in black and white.
Not only does my husband qualify for a pension due to his service in WW2 but so would I
should he pass on.
I had to read it all several times to believe it.
He was eligible when he turned 65 , that is almost 17 years ago.
The VA does not try to make this a priority in fact a lot of politics involved to
seemingly keep it quiet. (according to the site and others I now have been reading)
Not only that, there are companies who go around telling senior groups of this
pension but then charge as much as 1200 $ to do the paper work.
It took me 1 hour to do the paperwork and probably 2 hours to dig up
marriage certificate and his discharge papers.
Mailed it all priority mail the next day.

There are abour 24% of vets who are now taking advantage of this program,
there is additional pensions for your medical expenses or for your spouse's
medical expenses.
I read some getting as little as 96.00 a month and as much as 1200.00 a month
depending on your income and circumstances.
Nothing has to be service related such as a disease.

I wrote about this in Yahoo Question and Answers and 5 people wrote me back within an hour and said they too qualified and had never heard about it. They were elated.
So I am doing my best to let every one know.

http://www.veteranaid.org/ will make a difference for us, if you are a vet from whatever war and have a honorable discharge then do check it out.
I will keep you up to date with this.

Time expected before we get anything is 4 to 6 months and someone told me 1 year.
HOWEVER the benefits will start from the day the VA receives your application.

Here in part taken from the site:

INTRODUCTION TO THE VETERANS' AID AND ATTENDANCE SPECIAL PENSION The Veterans' Administration offers a Special Pension with Aid and Attendance (A&A) benefit that is largely unknown. This Special Pension (part of the VA Improved Pension program) allows for Veterans and surviving spouses who require the regular attendance of another person to assist in eating, bathing, dressing, undressing or taking care of the needs of nature to receive additional monetary benefits. It also includes individuals who are blind or a patient in a nursing home because of mental or physical incapacity. Assisted care in an assisted living facility also qualifies. This most important benefit is overlooked by many families with Veterans or surviving spouses who need additional monies to help care for ailing parents or loved ones. This is a "pension benefit" and is not dependent upon service-related injuries for compensation. Most Veterans who are in need of assistance qualify for this pension. Aid and Attendance can help pay for care in the home, nursing home or assisted living facility. A Veteran is eligible for up to $1,519 per month, while a surviving spouse is eligible for up to $976 per month. A couple is eligible for up to $1,801 per month*. The Aid and Attendance Benefit is considered to be the third tier of a VA program called Improved Pension. The other two tiers are Basic and Housebound. Each tier has its own level of benefits and qualifications. While the objective of this site is to disseminate information about the Aid and Attendance Benefit, we urge you to read an important document prepared by the American Veterans Institute that clearly explains the Improved Pension program, its levels of benefits and the qualifications for each. If you or your loved one does not qualify for Aid and Attendance, you may want to check to see if you qualify for another level of the Pension.

Garden time

I have been busy , hence, no new messages.
Old Bob doing pretty much the same.
Young Bob stuck with a near deaf mother so has to repeat all the time
and a father who does not know him.
Life is not easy for him right now.
As for myself I am hanging on to the job but it is with less and less hours.
Which is fine one way or the other, gives me time to work in the garden.
I am having things pop up and surprise me.
Old Bob had planted some grapes when he was still feeling half way decent.
He planted 4 and 1 survived and to mu surprise today I see oodles and oodles
of grapes growing on the vine. How neat!!!!
I did not think we would get fruit on them , I thought the plant would look nice
on the arbor , but here they were tiny little grapes.
The cherry tree has 4x what we used to have, I am guessing that draught agrees
with this tree. The trick will be to keep them on there, last year Bob went nuts
and picked all the green cherries and put them in the fridge to ripen.
He was lucky to be alive that evening.
I voted yesterday for Hillary Clinton, I saw her in person last Friday.
But NC did not give her the vote she needed.
I did my duty.
Tired of the hoopla , we will vote Democrat in November to the winner of this
race. I just do not want to hear about it anymore.

Bad mood days

Been in a bad mood for a few days and can't get out of it.
Have not been listening to the news lately because I can't handle that either.
The Corgy is finally back to chasing the cat and Toto.
We have no idea what Bob is feeding these animals.
He is sneaky about it.
Funny how he remembers there are No No's but not why we should not
feed them milk etc...
I am afraid to buy anything with chocolate in.
Then we read that onions too are bad for dogs.

Old B is constantly giving bad looks at the son.
I told Bobby yesterday that I usually tell him "it will get better" but with this problem
that does not work anymore.
It will not get better.

Getting hot so Bobby put the screens in the windows, we do not have AC,
Old Bob keeps coming and closing the windows.
He is afraid of intruders.

I am glad that I still have a place to go to work.
How long they will keep us open and if there is hope at
the end of this recession tunnel , I do not know.

I know very little these days , just to be in a bad mood
and I hate that. It is not my nature to run around
like that.

Time Out

Had two days and one night away from the house.
Sabrina , my grandson and a friend took some time off to
go to Tennessee.
The mountains were in full bloom withe dogwoods and
purple wild plum trees.
It was just magical to see the new greens on the trees and
a bit of snow on the tops of the Smokey's.
I left old B with young B and it turned out to be a great combination.
Bobby cooked , fixedhis coffee the way he likes it and gave his meds.
When I walked in and asked foolishly "Did you miss me?"
He said"No. why?"
I said " I was gone 2 days" and the sweet man said:
I did not notice it.
I was delighted for I did not feel guilt that I had left him.
It was a dangerous question for if he had indeed missed me then I would
not dare to go out again.
So all is well. I had a great relaxing time and everyone survived !!!!
Sabrina told me that we will try and do this every month.
We are surrounded by the great mountains and lakes so we can
always find a place within 1 or 2 hour ride.
It is great to get a "normal" view of everything and be out once in awhile.

3.30 in the morning and no place to go

I am back to the habit of not sleeping a full night. Three o clock in the morning and I wake up to demons rushing about in my head. I can come up with more "what if"s" then anybody I know.
Even so yesterday was an OK day. We had a good sale at the store and met our goals so I could be busy counting money and put in a few hours more. My friends in Belgium became grandparents.
Bob was doing ok.
Of course I am worried about the Corgy, she is not herself and just sits in a corner where we can hardly see her. When we take her for a walk she digs her feet into the dirt and refuses to come back in the house. She will need to see a vet but how to get her to one is another story.
Bobby's car broke down and the girls are working tomorrow.
There I go with the "what if" scenario.
We had dogs when I was little. My father raised German shepherds and I we never had shots and all that stuff we do today for animals. We gave them kitchen scraps and they seemed to be
doing fine.
I better get some sleep. I am rattling and rattled.

Great day

Thank God it is Friday say the bureaucrats but I start my week on Friday.
It does not matter, one day blends into the next day.
But this Friday I had lunch with two good friends and I had verbal diahrea as always.
I am becoming my mother.
When she had a visitor, the visitor was a prisoner to her talks.
I am a talker. So be it.
Also I have few people to talk to these days since Bob and I were talking non stop to
each for 30 years of our marriage.
What in heavens did we say to each other?
I know we talked all the time. what is worse we almost always agreed with each other.
The last 10 years have changed all that, slowly the talks were gone, the conversation dried up
into a dry pond. The idea fading from Bob's mind on what subject he should pick or answer me on.
So my dear friends have all the patience in the world and listen to me for 2 hours.
Is my life so interesting? Au contraire it is boring to the max.
SO C and L thank you for being there.
You are better than the 150 dollar shrink!

green star on eBay

Oh I did not mention this milestone.
I made 5000 feedback on eBay
and 100 percent positive.
I am quite proud of that.
Almost 8000 sales too as duplicate buyers do not count.
(they will change that)
So I got a green star now and a letter from eBay with congrats.

Turn around a bad day

Bob wants to go home to his Aunts and Uncles, a new one, if they were still alive they would be about 120 years old. Time to put the alarms on so we can catch him if he leaves.
I am going out in the yard just about measuring how tall my perennials got. I just have to see something positive because my head is splitting.
Ok so I am doing well after I saw that the Dutch Iris did not freeze after all and are in buds!Yeah!
Bobby's seed planting is coming along too and some of the roses are wielding buds.
The weather man said we will drop another 15 degrees again tomorrow.
That is not so hot!
Tomorrow, another day.
Tomorrow big 12 hour sale at the store.
We better sell or we will have more hours cut.
We are having some really nice duds at 75 Percent off.
Glad it is evening and I can go to sleep soon and forget the world.