I can't seem to get on it and I am lazy and tired.
This whole week has been nuts like that.
Sunday, August 21, 2011
Friday, August 19, 2011
neighbors
My English is self taught and for the life of me I never know how to spell the word :"neighbor" I always put another g in there somewhere. 50 plus years and I am still not getting it.
What I am also not getting is the change in our culture ,speaking of neighborhoods.
Rhonda wrote in her blog that the people they meet, while they are living on a boat,
are so friendly. A boat will dock next to them and immediately there is contact.
People are so friendly, she writes.
So I go back in though to 1955 when I moved here and lived in New Jersey for awhile.
I knew every one in the street. We did get a cup of sugar from Mabel across the street, found numerous babysitters all around us. Lady next door had a major drinking problem with 5 kids. The oldest came to me every day telling me Mom had the flu and how would she cook this or that. The 16 year old ran the household.
I helped when I could. My babies were born there, day in and day out I had the
pram outside the front door ,babies stuffed in blankets and as a good Belgian girl I knew they needed fresh air every day. No one ever touched these little ones.
Moving to California we first bought a house in Campbell and again we met everyone
and had chit chats over the fence, watched each other kids and sat at the table with a cup of coffee while we discovered where to shop and what to bring to the new community in this new neighborhood.
Then all hell broke lose when husband nr uno was arrested in the food store he managed. He had given discounts to "ladies" when he checked them out so he went to jail overnight and then got headlines in the paper.
No one talked to me anymore and we moved into the mountains hiding my head in shame. Husband thought he was robin Hood and gave to the poor...yeah right.
In the mountains we found a neat old house we could afford, having lost the new house we just purchased months before. The town was then very, very small.
Soon we knew everyone and again the camaraderie was there and the welcome.
I felt very safe there. No one knew about the San Jose newspaper article.
Fast forward to 1969, a new marriage and the event of hippies in the gorgeous quiet valley that I adored. Strange happenings with drug scenario, people moved next door and had sex orgies with very young girls and no curtains, calling the cops was no help it took me 35 minutes to get to us.
We fled for 5 years to Spain.
Moving to where we still are in 1976 in NC. People around us where older than us and extremely friendly. Over the next 35 years the old left us for better places (we hope) and new younger and younger people arrived. At this point I do not know the names of the people across the street. The retired policeman on the other side waves. No one goes from house to house to borrow sugar or have a cup of coffee.
People are rushing out at 7 or 8 AM return in the evening.
The neighborhood is quiet. Where is the cameraderie? Are we so busy working?
Are we just "into our family? Or just into internet such as I do?
What I am also not getting is the change in our culture ,speaking of neighborhoods.
Rhonda wrote in her blog that the people they meet, while they are living on a boat,
are so friendly. A boat will dock next to them and immediately there is contact.
People are so friendly, she writes.
So I go back in though to 1955 when I moved here and lived in New Jersey for awhile.
I knew every one in the street. We did get a cup of sugar from Mabel across the street, found numerous babysitters all around us. Lady next door had a major drinking problem with 5 kids. The oldest came to me every day telling me Mom had the flu and how would she cook this or that. The 16 year old ran the household.
I helped when I could. My babies were born there, day in and day out I had the
pram outside the front door ,babies stuffed in blankets and as a good Belgian girl I knew they needed fresh air every day. No one ever touched these little ones.
Moving to California we first bought a house in Campbell and again we met everyone
and had chit chats over the fence, watched each other kids and sat at the table with a cup of coffee while we discovered where to shop and what to bring to the new community in this new neighborhood.
Then all hell broke lose when husband nr uno was arrested in the food store he managed. He had given discounts to "ladies" when he checked them out so he went to jail overnight and then got headlines in the paper.
No one talked to me anymore and we moved into the mountains hiding my head in shame. Husband thought he was robin Hood and gave to the poor...yeah right.
In the mountains we found a neat old house we could afford, having lost the new house we just purchased months before. The town was then very, very small.
Soon we knew everyone and again the camaraderie was there and the welcome.
I felt very safe there. No one knew about the San Jose newspaper article.
Fast forward to 1969, a new marriage and the event of hippies in the gorgeous quiet valley that I adored. Strange happenings with drug scenario, people moved next door and had sex orgies with very young girls and no curtains, calling the cops was no help it took me 35 minutes to get to us.
We fled for 5 years to Spain.
Moving to where we still are in 1976 in NC. People around us where older than us and extremely friendly. Over the next 35 years the old left us for better places (we hope) and new younger and younger people arrived. At this point I do not know the names of the people across the street. The retired policeman on the other side waves. No one goes from house to house to borrow sugar or have a cup of coffee.
People are rushing out at 7 or 8 AM return in the evening.
The neighborhood is quiet. Where is the cameraderie? Are we so busy working?
Are we just "into our family? Or just into internet such as I do?
Thursday, August 18, 2011
interesting show about psychics last night
Of course the famous Randy was there offering one million bucks if someone could prove to him that they had indeed psychic powers and in touch with the unknown.
No one even came close. Sylvia Browne refused his tests time and time again.
BTW SYLVIA Browne on Montel had told a family that the missing son was gone and showed an area where he might be. Family mourned for years and then the boy showed up last year very much alive, had been abducted. It was all on the news, Sylvia
apologized to the family.
James Van Praag was interesting, did not convince the journalist neither did he convince me and I am an easy target.
At the end two L A psychics got to another reporter ...one was that nasty lady who had been on the wives of Beverly Hills .....
Late in life , I am having great doubts about a lot of it.
What I do not like is the money angle. I think if you have such a gift and you can help people you should not charge a penny.
Van charges 125.00 a person in a very large group in a hotel and he gives them tid bits, he is a fabulous cold reader and people do not realize in the moment how much information they are handing him on a platter.
I tried to count the heads in the room at least a hundred there easy money for an hour of work. He lives by the sea in a nice place..........
the two in LA had nice pools and homes..........
a gift like this should be shared...........I had a lot of premonitions in my life
many who became reality ....I read cards....but I would never charge a dime.
Someone brought me a bouquet of roses at one time. I took them but did not expect that.
No one even came close. Sylvia Browne refused his tests time and time again.
BTW SYLVIA Browne on Montel had told a family that the missing son was gone and showed an area where he might be. Family mourned for years and then the boy showed up last year very much alive, had been abducted. It was all on the news, Sylvia
apologized to the family.
James Van Praag was interesting, did not convince the journalist neither did he convince me and I am an easy target.
At the end two L A psychics got to another reporter ...one was that nasty lady who had been on the wives of Beverly Hills .....
Late in life , I am having great doubts about a lot of it.
What I do not like is the money angle. I think if you have such a gift and you can help people you should not charge a penny.
Van charges 125.00 a person in a very large group in a hotel and he gives them tid bits, he is a fabulous cold reader and people do not realize in the moment how much information they are handing him on a platter.
I tried to count the heads in the room at least a hundred there easy money for an hour of work. He lives by the sea in a nice place..........
the two in LA had nice pools and homes..........
a gift like this should be shared...........I had a lot of premonitions in my life
many who became reality ....I read cards....but I would never charge a dime.
Someone brought me a bouquet of roses at one time. I took them but did not expect that.
Wednesday, August 17, 2011
the reality shows and are they going too far??????????
I doubt they will stop any time soon, the dollars are pouring in on Bravo, the more fight in New Jersey the more viewers, they always have to have a bad guy or girl.
One of the husbands on the wives of Beverly hills committed suicide this week.
He was often in the picture and had a sour puss ,turns out he is broke and could not keep up with the show motto of wealthy women. Besides that his wife had accused him of hitting her in People magazine...more readers.....more drama.
Show me the money...that is the story of interest....
One of the husbands on the wives of Beverly hills committed suicide this week.
He was often in the picture and had a sour puss ,turns out he is broke and could not keep up with the show motto of wealthy women. Besides that his wife had accused him of hitting her in People magazine...more readers.....more drama.
Show me the money...that is the story of interest....
Loyola University did a study
it seems that 2 glasses of wine a day for men and one glass for women will reduce people from dementia/Alzheimer by 23 %, guess my friend in Mass. will be bright forever and I will have to start a new hobby. Zinfedel (sp?) here I come. (Maybe)
walked Bijou tonight by the cemetary and I thought
the sun was on fire. It was gorgeous, wished I had my camera with me.
Just a fabulous night. If the clouds go away we may see some more of that harvest moon too.
Just a fabulous night. If the clouds go away we may see some more of that harvest moon too.
the good and the bad about the Internet
I can't be without my computer.
I get out once a week and otherwise see very few people.
So I play, write, email, buy and sell on the internet.
It is part of my day, the most part of my day.
When I started to sell on eBay it was 1977.
That was some time ago and I can't believe how fast it all went.
Ebay I think was 2 years old then and an infancy full of problems
and joys. Now it is totally an enormous business to deal with not to mention Pay pal too. The policy now protects the buyer a lot more than the seller.
It is also expensive.
I can write to my pals in Belgium and get an immediate reply if they are "on" no more waiting for 5 days till the mail gets in.
Overall it is a marvelous tool for me BUT...I started to blog 4 or so years ago
husband was very sick with Alzheimer and I was a caregiver going out of her mind with worries. Writing about it helped and I had hoped that it would help other people in the same situation. It did for some and got me a job for a year with a site now gone and broke. So somewhere I hope it all did some good.
Sept 5th will be the first anniversary of my husband's passing.
I thought of stopping the blog but a couple of friends asked me to continue and write about my life, my youth, and just about anything.
The request was flattering and I may give it some thought after Sept 5.
However I was very naive when I started this all.
I was a Pollyanna thinking that life was just nothing but lillies and daisies.
What I do regret is that I also discovered that there are mean spirited people who may use your blog for their own gain. Perhaps they are mentally ill and can't help themselves but they are on the internet just like anybody else.
So I made one decision and that is not to write anymore about my son. His life is different from mine and he lives the way he wants to and should be free of freaks and crazies. No research will be possible on this site about Bob. Basta!!!!
I get out once a week and otherwise see very few people.
So I play, write, email, buy and sell on the internet.
It is part of my day, the most part of my day.
When I started to sell on eBay it was 1977.
That was some time ago and I can't believe how fast it all went.
Ebay I think was 2 years old then and an infancy full of problems
and joys. Now it is totally an enormous business to deal with not to mention Pay pal too. The policy now protects the buyer a lot more than the seller.
It is also expensive.
I can write to my pals in Belgium and get an immediate reply if they are "on" no more waiting for 5 days till the mail gets in.
Overall it is a marvelous tool for me BUT...I started to blog 4 or so years ago
husband was very sick with Alzheimer and I was a caregiver going out of her mind with worries. Writing about it helped and I had hoped that it would help other people in the same situation. It did for some and got me a job for a year with a site now gone and broke. So somewhere I hope it all did some good.
Sept 5th will be the first anniversary of my husband's passing.
I thought of stopping the blog but a couple of friends asked me to continue and write about my life, my youth, and just about anything.
The request was flattering and I may give it some thought after Sept 5.
However I was very naive when I started this all.
I was a Pollyanna thinking that life was just nothing but lillies and daisies.
What I do regret is that I also discovered that there are mean spirited people who may use your blog for their own gain. Perhaps they are mentally ill and can't help themselves but they are on the internet just like anybody else.
So I made one decision and that is not to write anymore about my son. His life is different from mine and he lives the way he wants to and should be free of freaks and crazies. No research will be possible on this site about Bob. Basta!!!!
August 17th
On AUgust 17th 1955 I came into this country quite legally having waited 4 years for an immigrant visa, together with a family who was willing to take us in and sign for us.
Times have changed, the family would have been responsible for us if we did not start working ........why did we stop that law????
It makes sense.
Also entry was not so easy if you wait 4 years for it and you could not have TB not communistic activities.
Came in on a Greyhound bus from Montreal to New York, no a/c then, hot hot hot bodies and different odors everywhere but all I could think off was "New York".
I remember having a pink peasant blouse on and pink skirt.
Started my period during the trip, oh joy!
Near Connecticut we ran into a huge storm .they did not number them then but this
was frightening. The bus had to stop several times as the driver could not see where he was going. The storm had a name but I long forgot it. Could have been Diane.
The bus drove from small town to small town, no major highways then along that road.The N J Turnpike was fairly new but that is all I remember in major highways.
By the time we hit NY it was nightfall.
My then husband decided to go and hunt for a hotel and found around the corner,
he returned to get me and the suitcases and told me to hurry as he had turned on the tub so I could have a bath (knucklehead he turns on the water and leaves?)
The excitement to finally be here was probably raising my BP even then, at 23!
Talking about this to my second husband we realized that we met on Aug 17th in Santa Cruz when I was renting a shop space in a mini mall. He had the space next to me. The rest was 42 years of a great union.
so today, August 17th, the memories are vivid of both events.....
they bring smiles and happy tears .............
56 years in this country! Wow! Was it not yesterday when I was 20???
Times have changed, the family would have been responsible for us if we did not start working ........why did we stop that law????
It makes sense.
Also entry was not so easy if you wait 4 years for it and you could not have TB not communistic activities.
Came in on a Greyhound bus from Montreal to New York, no a/c then, hot hot hot bodies and different odors everywhere but all I could think off was "New York".
I remember having a pink peasant blouse on and pink skirt.
Started my period during the trip, oh joy!
Near Connecticut we ran into a huge storm .they did not number them then but this
was frightening. The bus had to stop several times as the driver could not see where he was going. The storm had a name but I long forgot it. Could have been Diane.
The bus drove from small town to small town, no major highways then along that road.The N J Turnpike was fairly new but that is all I remember in major highways.
By the time we hit NY it was nightfall.
My then husband decided to go and hunt for a hotel and found around the corner,
he returned to get me and the suitcases and told me to hurry as he had turned on the tub so I could have a bath (knucklehead he turns on the water and leaves?)
The excitement to finally be here was probably raising my BP even then, at 23!
Talking about this to my second husband we realized that we met on Aug 17th in Santa Cruz when I was renting a shop space in a mini mall. He had the space next to me. The rest was 42 years of a great union.
so today, August 17th, the memories are vivid of both events.....
they bring smiles and happy tears .............
56 years in this country! Wow! Was it not yesterday when I was 20???
Tuesday, August 16, 2011
Shopping day
It is cooling down, we will reach 80 today and I can feel autumn in my bones.
Nice not to turn on all the fans and being able to breathe.
The new Roomba is a peach, I work her in every room every day and stay on top of
Carwen's shedding, this one is not so temperamental with cords, she seems to be able to dance her way out of entanglements but she is fussy about her brushes. She stops more then the old one and tells me: clean my brushes. There is hardly a pile up on her brushes but she wants them cleaned so I do it. When she is tired she goes to her station and parks herself. I hardly pick up anything with the vacuum when I followed her one day.
Short list for shopping today but we have a haircut planned.
I love the tomatoes I have grown, started them late but have them now to enjoy.
Next year I will do some more.
Zack started school yesterday, he is now a towering junior, he overshadows us all and finding shoes is not easy for him. He does take after his Fisher Grandpa.
Fortunately he does not hunt.
getting ready for my weekly lunch and shopping day. love it!
Nice not to turn on all the fans and being able to breathe.
The new Roomba is a peach, I work her in every room every day and stay on top of
Carwen's shedding, this one is not so temperamental with cords, she seems to be able to dance her way out of entanglements but she is fussy about her brushes. She stops more then the old one and tells me: clean my brushes. There is hardly a pile up on her brushes but she wants them cleaned so I do it. When she is tired she goes to her station and parks herself. I hardly pick up anything with the vacuum when I followed her one day.
Short list for shopping today but we have a haircut planned.
I love the tomatoes I have grown, started them late but have them now to enjoy.
Next year I will do some more.
Zack started school yesterday, he is now a towering junior, he overshadows us all and finding shoes is not easy for him. He does take after his Fisher Grandpa.
Fortunately he does not hunt.
getting ready for my weekly lunch and shopping day. love it!
Monday, August 15, 2011
another friend passes on
we did not see much of each other in the last decades, he lived in Hawaii.
We did enjoy him in another time and in another place namely Spain in the 1970's.
May he rest in peace.
My address book is almost on empty , I am like Georges Burns, check the obituaries if I am not in it I get up and face the day.
The day was morose and not too upbeat...got to get out of this mood.
We did enjoy him in another time and in another place namely Spain in the 1970's.
May he rest in peace.
My address book is almost on empty , I am like Georges Burns, check the obituaries if I am not in it I get up and face the day.
The day was morose and not too upbeat...got to get out of this mood.
about the money
Rhonda wrote about the pennies she finds but the day Bob left us I found a dime and I have been finding dimes every since. Guess he is sending me the inflation extra!
Visited Ari's grave yesterday and there were 9 pennies by her stone.
I still miss that girl.
I had planted one of her mother's plants in a pot there and it is
thriving. Of course, her mom is there with her and I am sure she
is tending to do the plant.
We did cancel our beach trip there are too many other things to do around the house and my mood for ocean is gone.
Visited Ari's grave yesterday and there were 9 pennies by her stone.
I still miss that girl.
I had planted one of her mother's plants in a pot there and it is
thriving. Of course, her mom is there with her and I am sure she
is tending to do the plant.
We did cancel our beach trip there are too many other things to do around the house and my mood for ocean is gone.
Sunday, August 14, 2011
closing in on the 1 year..........
he is on my mind all the time now.....I am working on emptying his chest of drawers...I find all sorts of treasures, bottle caps, rubber bands, used stamps...the G string I once bought him decades ago...(Ha Ha) cards I wrote him ....rags...a bag full of pens (mostly dry now)....pennies all over the place...
on Sept 5 it will be one year since he left us....
I ran away two days before that..I left daughter Rhonda in charge to be with him and she took this to mean "do not leave him" , she stayed with him day and night.
For this I am indebted to her.
I was at the end of my rope, I had watched every change day in and day out.
Thirteen years, I had watched ...first he still knew how to drive well and we did our usual day trips ....I started to tell him when to change lanes..when the light was red and he needed to stop. Then the decision to take the license away..he never forgave me for that one.
I watched how much he loved his coffee till one day he looked at me puzzled and said he would never drink that stuff...when I said he drank it every day of his life he looked at me and said :"I never would drink that".
Lucky for me he kissed me till the end. But then at that time I think he was kissing every one.
He dressed himself quite well for a long time then like a switch had turned off he put his pants on backwards and could hardly walk but did not notice the reason for that .....when I wanted to change it, he turned grumpy and said not to touch him.
I saw when he would smile as I crawled in bed and cuddled next to him and then I saw that the eyes grew angry and he told me"Get out of my bed, no strange women come in my bed". I slept on the couch bathing in tears.
He stopped walking the dog, he often would kick the dog as he was not happy with movements around him.
If a workman had to come in he would yell and tell him to get out.
His house and garden were his territory and he felt no one but him should be there.
He started to hide things....hid my hearing aids for which I was still paying, we never found them, hid my new Roomba (a Christmas present from Bobby) but he hid it under leaves and it got soaking wet. $400 down the shute, "they" fixed it but it never worked well again.
One day he said :Oh it is gone and laughed very hard...I said what is gone?
He pointed to his pinky, he had worn my insignia ring from my teen age years on his pinky since we met. The ring was gone. He managed to show me that he had flushed it in the toilet. I am sure it was by accident as he was losing weight.
I managed to buy him a sterling wedding band and switched his gold one and hid it
ditto with his father's ring. I did not want them to go down the sewer too.
I can and may still write a book about it all but today I am beginning to feel that the 5th is near. Review the year and go forward knowing that I did all I could for him while alive. I love him so much. If there are soul mates then he was it.
I am no longer sure about that title. I know he was the one who gave me life.
A very good life full of love. I was 36 when I met him and that was the day I was born. What happened before was not that pleasant.
on Sept 5 it will be one year since he left us....
I ran away two days before that..I left daughter Rhonda in charge to be with him and she took this to mean "do not leave him" , she stayed with him day and night.
For this I am indebted to her.
I was at the end of my rope, I had watched every change day in and day out.
Thirteen years, I had watched ...first he still knew how to drive well and we did our usual day trips ....I started to tell him when to change lanes..when the light was red and he needed to stop. Then the decision to take the license away..he never forgave me for that one.
I watched how much he loved his coffee till one day he looked at me puzzled and said he would never drink that stuff...when I said he drank it every day of his life he looked at me and said :"I never would drink that".
Lucky for me he kissed me till the end. But then at that time I think he was kissing every one.
He dressed himself quite well for a long time then like a switch had turned off he put his pants on backwards and could hardly walk but did not notice the reason for that .....when I wanted to change it, he turned grumpy and said not to touch him.
I saw when he would smile as I crawled in bed and cuddled next to him and then I saw that the eyes grew angry and he told me"Get out of my bed, no strange women come in my bed". I slept on the couch bathing in tears.
He stopped walking the dog, he often would kick the dog as he was not happy with movements around him.
If a workman had to come in he would yell and tell him to get out.
His house and garden were his territory and he felt no one but him should be there.
He started to hide things....hid my hearing aids for which I was still paying, we never found them, hid my new Roomba (a Christmas present from Bobby) but he hid it under leaves and it got soaking wet. $400 down the shute, "they" fixed it but it never worked well again.
One day he said :Oh it is gone and laughed very hard...I said what is gone?
He pointed to his pinky, he had worn my insignia ring from my teen age years on his pinky since we met. The ring was gone. He managed to show me that he had flushed it in the toilet. I am sure it was by accident as he was losing weight.
I managed to buy him a sterling wedding band and switched his gold one and hid it
ditto with his father's ring. I did not want them to go down the sewer too.
I can and may still write a book about it all but today I am beginning to feel that the 5th is near. Review the year and go forward knowing that I did all I could for him while alive. I love him so much. If there are soul mates then he was it.
I am no longer sure about that title. I know he was the one who gave me life.
A very good life full of love. I was 36 when I met him and that was the day I was born. What happened before was not that pleasant.
Saturday, August 13, 2011
Ok Dr bones has an opinion...I do not have to agree
said he, yes the handsome one, I did not like his shirt tie combination today ....
so said he:"your back is ugly....IF you fall again you will go through the same scenario....your bones are brittle...take vitamin D (I already do)".
Goodbye!
I decided that I am going to walk on eggs until I am steady without vertigo and
just let him talk and do my thing.
He told another lady I know after he did her shoulder surgery:
"this will probably come back so be prepared!"
I think he is wishing for more clients so he plants this stuff into our
subconscious.
He also told me a few months ago that his friend had the same surgery as mine
and they said he did not have any cancer anymore and he died from cancer 6 months later. He looked at my necklace then and said: Will this to Sabrina!
Hello?????
The end of this month it will be 5 months since my surgery...yikes....
I am going to the beach for the Labor day week end with Brie.
We both can use a "run away" time even for a few days.
The ocean loves me and the sun there is stronger then here (S C )
so I should get some help with the scalp which is now one landmark of psoriasis,
I do not flake little tiny flakes I have snowflakes falling from my
stresses!!!!!
Bob is doing very well in the humor department.
He is triply kind to me, he is a nice guy.
He will conquer this disease, he has to.
He still has a lot of life in him.
Girlfriend is still upper most on his mind.
Good so!
Sabrina went sliding or whatever they call it,
just going down a rope at 55 miles an hour and 200 feet above the trees.
She loved it.
Got to do some dishes
so said he:"your back is ugly....IF you fall again you will go through the same scenario....your bones are brittle...take vitamin D (I already do)".
Goodbye!
I decided that I am going to walk on eggs until I am steady without vertigo and
just let him talk and do my thing.
He told another lady I know after he did her shoulder surgery:
"this will probably come back so be prepared!"
I think he is wishing for more clients so he plants this stuff into our
subconscious.
He also told me a few months ago that his friend had the same surgery as mine
and they said he did not have any cancer anymore and he died from cancer 6 months later. He looked at my necklace then and said: Will this to Sabrina!
Hello?????
The end of this month it will be 5 months since my surgery...yikes....
I am going to the beach for the Labor day week end with Brie.
We both can use a "run away" time even for a few days.
The ocean loves me and the sun there is stronger then here (S C )
so I should get some help with the scalp which is now one landmark of psoriasis,
I do not flake little tiny flakes I have snowflakes falling from my
stresses!!!!!
Bob is doing very well in the humor department.
He is triply kind to me, he is a nice guy.
He will conquer this disease, he has to.
He still has a lot of life in him.
Girlfriend is still upper most on his mind.
Good so!
Sabrina went sliding or whatever they call it,
just going down a rope at 55 miles an hour and 200 feet above the trees.
She loved it.
Got to do some dishes
Monday, August 8, 2011
Sunday, August 7, 2011
so our credit rating is down the toilet.
It will be interesting to see what the next weeks will bring.
was watching Amanpour and no one at the table was very happy about the way
this was done. Politics, who can understand the undergarments of politics,
the deals made in quiet rooms, promises to the industry, promises to countries, wars, costly deals.
Our loss today in the human scene is greater with more soldiers dying.
22 of our elite men , blown up in a helicopter. Belonging to a very small
group of 300 or so. Thinking of all the families at home today, children who
will never see their father again. This is now almost a daily routine...cost? enormous, cost of lives? not replaceable.
If I start thinking about it all I will go in a corner and sulk, what can I do to change anything? I can help with world hunger and hope the people who need it
will get their share of it.
Forget my mood, I am grouchy and I no longer have PMS to blame it on.
was watching Amanpour and no one at the table was very happy about the way
this was done. Politics, who can understand the undergarments of politics,
the deals made in quiet rooms, promises to the industry, promises to countries, wars, costly deals.
Our loss today in the human scene is greater with more soldiers dying.
22 of our elite men , blown up in a helicopter. Belonging to a very small
group of 300 or so. Thinking of all the families at home today, children who
will never see their father again. This is now almost a daily routine...cost? enormous, cost of lives? not replaceable.
If I start thinking about it all I will go in a corner and sulk, what can I do to change anything? I can help with world hunger and hope the people who need it
will get their share of it.
Forget my mood, I am grouchy and I no longer have PMS to blame it on.
Saturday, August 6, 2011
lovely week end
Had a nice visit with Bob's girlfriend.
What I learned so far is that she is very considerate and remembers things about you, she brought me this large glass which holds a zillion tons of water, it is double walled so it keeps it cool, in the wall is a blue butterfly.
She remembered the butterfly story and she knows I need to drink water, she gave it to me with orders to DRINK THE WATER.
Same with her Mom who made raspberry cheesecake for him as his favorite fruit is
raspberries. They seem to remember the little things.
On the other side of the coin, a stalked who made his life miserable for 2 years,
he never met, never talked on the phone, is back on the email trail to make his life miserable. A sicko person who needs mental help. When are we going to help people who need that kind of a hand????
I probably gained 5 lbs with the cheesecake, calories were left in it.
I did enjoy some very cool moments today with a bit of rain and started to be able to clean the house. I did, honestly I did.
Rhonda is at sea on the way to Maine.
It is her dream.
I am feeling very healthy so hope all the other tests will be fine too.
They have to be.
I have much to see and do.
What I learned so far is that she is very considerate and remembers things about you, she brought me this large glass which holds a zillion tons of water, it is double walled so it keeps it cool, in the wall is a blue butterfly.
She remembered the butterfly story and she knows I need to drink water, she gave it to me with orders to DRINK THE WATER.
Same with her Mom who made raspberry cheesecake for him as his favorite fruit is
raspberries. They seem to remember the little things.
On the other side of the coin, a stalked who made his life miserable for 2 years,
he never met, never talked on the phone, is back on the email trail to make his life miserable. A sicko person who needs mental help. When are we going to help people who need that kind of a hand????
I probably gained 5 lbs with the cheesecake, calories were left in it.
I did enjoy some very cool moments today with a bit of rain and started to be able to clean the house. I did, honestly I did.
Rhonda is at sea on the way to Maine.
It is her dream.
I am feeling very healthy so hope all the other tests will be fine too.
They have to be.
I have much to see and do.
the brutal honesty .......
people who know me, know that I tell it like it is.
No bandages, no pretending, I am who I am, would I like to improve? yup, I surely would and I strive for it all the time, it does not always work.
The girl in Bob's life is a plus.
I said it before, he now laughs a lot and tries to walk a bit further away from the house, it is a good start.
I run ,again, 2 businesses, eBay and my shop in Brevard, it remains to be seen if I will make money. I also sell a great deal of my "collections" time to try simplicity.
Simplicity! It has never worked before, we always were working out of this house.
At first Bob and I made our Santas on the kitchen table, rabbit fur was everywhere, creeping into the nostrils even and in parts we did not know we had.
We had so much fun but the house was such a shambles. Fabrics here and there and a sewing machine here and there. We worked hard until we rented a studio above our shop and that became our haven for fur and fabrics.
We did shows for years and years, high end craft shows, the Father Christmas dolls sold for 175.00 and we never made the same one twice.
We did art shows all over the Eastern seaboard with Bob's work.
We did antique shows in Atlanta, Charlotte, Mount Dora when it was antique heaven and on and on.....
The unloading of stuff often in the house and starting all over again next Friday.
We were not allowed to make this a commercial site but we should have.
Bob took in restorations and paintings with holes were to be found in every corner waiting for the master.
I can work in chaos. I am not orderly, never have been, and that is what I want to change...and then I buy hundreds of different beads ,chains, threads tools all for the necklaces I make. It is another puzzle ....I am trying to sort them all out as they come in and then when I start making a necklace I mess them up trying to find THE bead I want. Excuses , excuses, to try and tell myself that I am OK..I can't be like Sabrina who used to empty the ashtray of her husband as soon as he had a bud in it. She is a bit better now, at home we call that the cleaning sickness.
Here it is OCD, I think.
So....I sat down this lovely lady who is new in our lives and said:
It was very hot this week, I did not do anything to prepare for company..the floor needs washing and I have beads on the table which I need to prepare for their destiny....so dear girl, you have to learn to take me warts and all, I will no longer scramble to get everything in order before you come into the door.
You have to take me as I am....
She was polite and smiled.....wonder what she thought....does it matter to me?
Yes, it matters a lot what people think about me and how dumb is that?
I have lived a long life with ups and downs as we all have and I am the product of it all.......
Now I better go and clear my desk.............or not
No bandages, no pretending, I am who I am, would I like to improve? yup, I surely would and I strive for it all the time, it does not always work.
The girl in Bob's life is a plus.
I said it before, he now laughs a lot and tries to walk a bit further away from the house, it is a good start.
I run ,again, 2 businesses, eBay and my shop in Brevard, it remains to be seen if I will make money. I also sell a great deal of my "collections" time to try simplicity.
Simplicity! It has never worked before, we always were working out of this house.
At first Bob and I made our Santas on the kitchen table, rabbit fur was everywhere, creeping into the nostrils even and in parts we did not know we had.
We had so much fun but the house was such a shambles. Fabrics here and there and a sewing machine here and there. We worked hard until we rented a studio above our shop and that became our haven for fur and fabrics.
We did shows for years and years, high end craft shows, the Father Christmas dolls sold for 175.00 and we never made the same one twice.
We did art shows all over the Eastern seaboard with Bob's work.
We did antique shows in Atlanta, Charlotte, Mount Dora when it was antique heaven and on and on.....
The unloading of stuff often in the house and starting all over again next Friday.
We were not allowed to make this a commercial site but we should have.
Bob took in restorations and paintings with holes were to be found in every corner waiting for the master.
I can work in chaos. I am not orderly, never have been, and that is what I want to change...and then I buy hundreds of different beads ,chains, threads tools all for the necklaces I make. It is another puzzle ....I am trying to sort them all out as they come in and then when I start making a necklace I mess them up trying to find THE bead I want. Excuses , excuses, to try and tell myself that I am OK..I can't be like Sabrina who used to empty the ashtray of her husband as soon as he had a bud in it. She is a bit better now, at home we call that the cleaning sickness.
Here it is OCD, I think.
So....I sat down this lovely lady who is new in our lives and said:
It was very hot this week, I did not do anything to prepare for company..the floor needs washing and I have beads on the table which I need to prepare for their destiny....so dear girl, you have to learn to take me warts and all, I will no longer scramble to get everything in order before you come into the door.
You have to take me as I am....
She was polite and smiled.....wonder what she thought....does it matter to me?
Yes, it matters a lot what people think about me and how dumb is that?
I have lived a long life with ups and downs as we all have and I am the product of it all.......
Now I better go and clear my desk.............or not
Thursday, August 4, 2011
Wednesday, August 3, 2011
Doctor review
The CT scan needed from my solo kidney was not what I had hoped for,blood test showed it was not working full force.
So then the people who know about these things decided not to do the dye test and make the the kidney work harder.
I was a bit wondering what would be next...phone call a few minutes ago from urologist: everything looks good, not unusual for the kidney to be a bit slow
taking on the work of the other one too.
Not to worry....
So not worrying I will do, I feel fine.
Some days I know I am bloated but I must learn to drink more water instead of junk.....
Lunch at Bistro was not as good as usual, waiter's head in the cloud, service not so hot....the flower shop I did not visit this time...not in my budget..we are missing the discount we got with Rhonda working there...now it is a bit expensive for my taste and I am finished planting anyway.
Zack and friend came yesterday to finish the back yard.
He managed to get the formidable wood growing weed up the phone pole, it was a problem and not quite on my property. Do not think that Miss Ross knows that.
Sabrina forgot her phone yesterday and it was like she had lost her best friend...we joked about it all day...she finally started using her glasses case and talking to it....
The heat is making me sick and nautious....enough already.....I think SC is in the three digits.
The government paid our social security today, thank you for small favors....
some body said it was a gift we receive....a gift?....how much do you pay each time you get a paycheck????
Hate to think about the voting next year....blame...bashing...lies...it will be a circus....Prez you got my vote, I knew 3 years ago you could not clean up this mess in one term, probably not in 2 terms either....
Got to go and walk a hot dog in the hot sun.....
So then the people who know about these things decided not to do the dye test and make the the kidney work harder.
I was a bit wondering what would be next...phone call a few minutes ago from urologist: everything looks good, not unusual for the kidney to be a bit slow
taking on the work of the other one too.
Not to worry....
So not worrying I will do, I feel fine.
Some days I know I am bloated but I must learn to drink more water instead of junk.....
Lunch at Bistro was not as good as usual, waiter's head in the cloud, service not so hot....the flower shop I did not visit this time...not in my budget..we are missing the discount we got with Rhonda working there...now it is a bit expensive for my taste and I am finished planting anyway.
Zack and friend came yesterday to finish the back yard.
He managed to get the formidable wood growing weed up the phone pole, it was a problem and not quite on my property. Do not think that Miss Ross knows that.
Sabrina forgot her phone yesterday and it was like she had lost her best friend...we joked about it all day...she finally started using her glasses case and talking to it....
The heat is making me sick and nautious....enough already.....I think SC is in the three digits.
The government paid our social security today, thank you for small favors....
some body said it was a gift we receive....a gift?....how much do you pay each time you get a paycheck????
Hate to think about the voting next year....blame...bashing...lies...it will be a circus....Prez you got my vote, I knew 3 years ago you could not clean up this mess in one term, probably not in 2 terms either....
Got to go and walk a hot dog in the hot sun.....
Monday, August 1, 2011
the house of smiles
something is happening in our house....the tears are dryed up most of the time....the pain is almost all gone....both physical and emotional....the garden is starting to look better....my finances are better...but most of all love has entered these walls.
These walls have been too moisterized with my tears for a decade or more.
The walls are hearing more and more laughter....son is happy...that is an elusive word that I no longer use...so son is content and I am content.
Son is finding new love. It may be forever, it may be for a short time, who knows but love is giving him a lot of hope, he is going to try to get healed by his own will
if possible.
You can tell he is better because he jokes with me and he puts his arms around me more often. We both need "the touch". Another human being just hugging you and
meaning it. He did not do that for a long time, he was lost in his own
sadness and he does not b s people.
What Bob what he gives you is what he is capable of and means it, good or bad.
I see him in front of the screen doing the sKYPE visit in the evening and he is
all smiles. He is a good man.
I have hope for him and I am all for it, the healing, the new life, another grandson (age 5) ...all is well in my world....
These walls have been too moisterized with my tears for a decade or more.
The walls are hearing more and more laughter....son is happy...that is an elusive word that I no longer use...so son is content and I am content.
Son is finding new love. It may be forever, it may be for a short time, who knows but love is giving him a lot of hope, he is going to try to get healed by his own will
if possible.
You can tell he is better because he jokes with me and he puts his arms around me more often. We both need "the touch". Another human being just hugging you and
meaning it. He did not do that for a long time, he was lost in his own
sadness and he does not b s people.
What Bob what he gives you is what he is capable of and means it, good or bad.
I see him in front of the screen doing the sKYPE visit in the evening and he is
all smiles. He is a good man.
I have hope for him and I am all for it, the healing, the new life, another grandson (age 5) ...all is well in my world....
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