I am so used to these initials and for you skinny gals it is weight watchers.
I can't remember how many times I have joined that outfit.
Right now I have lost quite a bit since the surgery but I want more so I joined again on line.
Does that mean no banana splits with Brie on Tuesdays?
My bones are brittle and do not need to carry more weight.
So we shall see....shall we?
In the meantime I am having one heck of a headache and I even drank my diet coke.
Monday, September 12, 2011
Sunday, September 11, 2011
when do you know it is Alzheimer?
A Facebook friend said I had not written much about the very beginning.
Here it goes :
Bob was very smart, remembered everything in the art world ,names of painters (disliked the modern ones) and all the patterns of early American pressed glass not to mention librettos of his favorite operas.
The man had a great mind, taught me so very much.
We had gone on a trip to Gent in my native Belgium and visited with friends and family when 2 days before our return my friend E had a stroke while we had lunch together. By 5 a m she had left us and I had to work with a confused husband to arrange her funeral. Bob sat in a corner pretty much useless and speechless.
When we left we were just numb. Once home I was sending him out to pay the electric bill and get a few groceries. He returned irate and yelling that the electric company had moved and they would only take gas payments where he went.
He had an argument with the manager as she insisted they had always been in that
office and he knew better.
I calmed him down and we did the rest of the errands together. I figured that since we left with such a heavy load on our shoulders that he just could not handle it.
He never did "dying" very well. He did not paint for 2 years when his mother and sister passed. He just moped. Finally I told him to paint or I would leave so he started to paint again. It did take 2 years !
I remembered the bill incident as one by one he did strange things.
More often I said: I told you so and he would respond "NO YOU DID NOT"
One morning he was not sure if he needed sugar in his coffee. He always took sugar.
That knocked me for a loop.
Visited the family doctor and told him of my suspicions. He told Bob a story and asked him to repeat it , he did it very well. Dr. said: Your imagination or your fear, Jeannot, nothing wrong with him.
I told the kids of every little thing I had written down and I thought to be
suspicious. The kids shook their head. "No way Mom he is so alert, look at his painting". So I looked with my expert eye of having him painting on front of me for decades. I did not see a change. Then one day he asked me :"what colors do I use for the background? I forgot?"
I dragged him to the neurologist. He did some basic tests like "draw me a face of a clock at 3.00 o clock, he did. Told him a story and he repeated it leaving some stuff out. Then another few simple tests and finally the doctor said:
"Mrs. K. I am thinking that you are right. He is in the beginning stages of dementia/ Alzheimer. I can do a test but it costs 1500 and medicare does not pay for it." I told him I did not need the test, I knew.
Still it took a long while before anyone believed me. Most daily stuff he did without a hitch and now and then would throw me a curve that would always shock me.
I so wanted to be wrong. I so told myself daily that I over reacted.
My kids had to be right. Our friends did not see anything wrong with him.
What was wrong with me???
Second visit to neurologist and he said that he was pretty sure now and perhaps we could start him on Aricept. This was in the 1990's and Aricept was I believe the only medicine then. Bob could not handle it, his stomach ached from it.
Besides that he was a Christian Scientist, he had lived his whole life since his grandmother in Science. He was not going to give in with easy for any medication and only went to the doctor to humor me.
He kept laughing while showing me the Mary Baker booklet on his beliefs.
It had not interfered in our marriage before, I went to doctors, the kids did but he was totally devoted, read the Bible and the M Baker book lesson every day.
He had prostate cancer and at my insistence gave in to treatment till it was gone.
This was another struggle to daily try and get him to take the Aricept.
I started to buy books on the disease, Read everything on line and found out that
in Germany they had a drug which had worked very well on the slow decline of the disease. It turned out that it was just approved in the USA I think it was called Namenda.
The cost then for his pills was 600 a month. I did not know if it would help
but in retrospect it did go down slowly, too slowly at the end when he was unaware of anything anymore but by then we had stopped the medication.
Slowly very slowly the children started to believe that something was wrong.
I started to get some support. We went to a group meeting , I did not know what to expect. I asked if I could sit in with him instead of the caregivers.
He was the least affected at that time of all the others. He was beaming as they were singing 1940's songs and telling army stories. he knew it all and was like a peacock. "See I did well in there, I do not have anything wrong with me"
I looked around in the room and a few just sat there facing the floor, some told out of context stories and I had to run to the bathroom to just cry my eyes out.
These poor people, these poor souls, was Bob going to be like that?
Perhaps he would be spared and would only forget a few things.
Outside with the caregivers I was scolded that I let him drive (I do not drive)
I told them he was still in early stages and they all answered "baloney".
Take him off the road.
Next month I sat in on the caregiving group, in the other room they were singing and laughing...we were almost all near tears. Men and women in this group all taking care of someone. The stories shared that day where of stories in late stages and I felt like I was going to throw up.
The female doctor who gave us instructions on how not to let them choke on their food, how to keep up with the norm of things, have eyes checked ( was she kidding me?) - (Bob took off his glasses one day and said these things are no good and that was that)
In his last 6 months when he was in a nursing home a dentist wanted to take out what was left of rotting teeth and give him false teeth. OH PLease the nerve!!!
BTW a friend of mine was billed from the nursing home by a shrink who charged for 2 visits a week to her husband who was comatose. She fought it and won, of course so do be aware!!!
I did not go back to the meetings, all I heard there were horror stories and I was not ready for that.
If I remember right he drove another 3 years and taking away his license was the worst for him as he did not understand that he did no longer belong on the road, that he missed red lights and that it was time.
A friend of his from CA and I decided we'd do one more trip to Torremolinos Spain. We would watch him in stages and different hours if need be.
Our tour guide found him once in the street and brought him back.
Friend A. forgot to watch him.
We had a good time in spite of it all except in airports where they have
2 exits in one restroom and he had gone out the wrong way.
Then our plane seats had been changed and he was separated from me.
When it was time to leave he went for the front and the pilots, that brought on some commotion. It was his last flight.
Early on I was active in preparations, labeled the cabinets with titles :"glasses" "plates" " your shorts" etc...he would laugh but he never really used them
when it was time to use them he forgot much of spelling.
I installed cheap little cameras in drive way to see if he left the grounds and
run after him. One day he got away and walked 6 miles. He had walked into a
youth camp along the highway and it was a miracle he turned around and out the right way as the camp was closed and was a huge place with lakes etc....
He was skinny by then but he could walk like an athlete , he had always walked.
I do not believe there is a set rule on how to detect this or predict it unless the new tests are reliable. A friend of mine only knew her husband was ill when he
put his hand on a hot stove burner and had a badly burned hand. He did not understand why. She had him checked and he was well on his way to D/A
I worked and lived 24/7 with Bob for decades, I knew him too well and I knew
I think from the very tiny first beginnings. It is hard to accept, you do not want that in your life and his/her life.
If a person lives alone a lot of people would not notice much until one day he/she drives 2 states away and wonder why they are there. Happened to a friend of ours.
My best friend one day said : "I knew it when he did not remember Gustaf Klimt"
That did not bother me in the least, I knew the man, he had no respect for modern art at all and would not bother to look at it or remember their names.
If he did not remember Caravaggio then we would have a problem.
You have to know the person in details, if you will, to detect the first stages of D/A. That is my humble opinion.
Today, of course, as I said before, there is a test but how accurate is it?
For years I read that only if they do an autopsy do they know what kind of disease took the patient. This too may have changed.
Bob left us a year ago. It took 13 years from our golden years.
The last 6 months he was in a rest home as I had broken my ankle in 3 places and could not watch him. That part was very difficult for me. Yet in retrospect he had a good time there, he walked the halls and shook hands with everyone and kissed the old ladies hands. He brought joy to some people during the last months of his life.
Here alone at home with me and my son, not knowing who we were he would have been miserable. At least that is what I an trying to tell myself.
FB Friend K. Hope that will help you on your journey, may it just be a false alarm.
Here it goes :
Bob was very smart, remembered everything in the art world ,names of painters (disliked the modern ones) and all the patterns of early American pressed glass not to mention librettos of his favorite operas.
The man had a great mind, taught me so very much.
We had gone on a trip to Gent in my native Belgium and visited with friends and family when 2 days before our return my friend E had a stroke while we had lunch together. By 5 a m she had left us and I had to work with a confused husband to arrange her funeral. Bob sat in a corner pretty much useless and speechless.
When we left we were just numb. Once home I was sending him out to pay the electric bill and get a few groceries. He returned irate and yelling that the electric company had moved and they would only take gas payments where he went.
He had an argument with the manager as she insisted they had always been in that
office and he knew better.
I calmed him down and we did the rest of the errands together. I figured that since we left with such a heavy load on our shoulders that he just could not handle it.
He never did "dying" very well. He did not paint for 2 years when his mother and sister passed. He just moped. Finally I told him to paint or I would leave so he started to paint again. It did take 2 years !
I remembered the bill incident as one by one he did strange things.
More often I said: I told you so and he would respond "NO YOU DID NOT"
One morning he was not sure if he needed sugar in his coffee. He always took sugar.
That knocked me for a loop.
Visited the family doctor and told him of my suspicions. He told Bob a story and asked him to repeat it , he did it very well. Dr. said: Your imagination or your fear, Jeannot, nothing wrong with him.
I told the kids of every little thing I had written down and I thought to be
suspicious. The kids shook their head. "No way Mom he is so alert, look at his painting". So I looked with my expert eye of having him painting on front of me for decades. I did not see a change. Then one day he asked me :"what colors do I use for the background? I forgot?"
I dragged him to the neurologist. He did some basic tests like "draw me a face of a clock at 3.00 o clock, he did. Told him a story and he repeated it leaving some stuff out. Then another few simple tests and finally the doctor said:
"Mrs. K. I am thinking that you are right. He is in the beginning stages of dementia/ Alzheimer. I can do a test but it costs 1500 and medicare does not pay for it." I told him I did not need the test, I knew.
Still it took a long while before anyone believed me. Most daily stuff he did without a hitch and now and then would throw me a curve that would always shock me.
I so wanted to be wrong. I so told myself daily that I over reacted.
My kids had to be right. Our friends did not see anything wrong with him.
What was wrong with me???
Second visit to neurologist and he said that he was pretty sure now and perhaps we could start him on Aricept. This was in the 1990's and Aricept was I believe the only medicine then. Bob could not handle it, his stomach ached from it.
Besides that he was a Christian Scientist, he had lived his whole life since his grandmother in Science. He was not going to give in with easy for any medication and only went to the doctor to humor me.
He kept laughing while showing me the Mary Baker booklet on his beliefs.
It had not interfered in our marriage before, I went to doctors, the kids did but he was totally devoted, read the Bible and the M Baker book lesson every day.
He had prostate cancer and at my insistence gave in to treatment till it was gone.
This was another struggle to daily try and get him to take the Aricept.
I started to buy books on the disease, Read everything on line and found out that
in Germany they had a drug which had worked very well on the slow decline of the disease. It turned out that it was just approved in the USA I think it was called Namenda.
The cost then for his pills was 600 a month. I did not know if it would help
but in retrospect it did go down slowly, too slowly at the end when he was unaware of anything anymore but by then we had stopped the medication.
Slowly very slowly the children started to believe that something was wrong.
I started to get some support. We went to a group meeting , I did not know what to expect. I asked if I could sit in with him instead of the caregivers.
He was the least affected at that time of all the others. He was beaming as they were singing 1940's songs and telling army stories. he knew it all and was like a peacock. "See I did well in there, I do not have anything wrong with me"
I looked around in the room and a few just sat there facing the floor, some told out of context stories and I had to run to the bathroom to just cry my eyes out.
These poor people, these poor souls, was Bob going to be like that?
Perhaps he would be spared and would only forget a few things.
Outside with the caregivers I was scolded that I let him drive (I do not drive)
I told them he was still in early stages and they all answered "baloney".
Take him off the road.
Next month I sat in on the caregiving group, in the other room they were singing and laughing...we were almost all near tears. Men and women in this group all taking care of someone. The stories shared that day where of stories in late stages and I felt like I was going to throw up.
The female doctor who gave us instructions on how not to let them choke on their food, how to keep up with the norm of things, have eyes checked ( was she kidding me?) - (Bob took off his glasses one day and said these things are no good and that was that)
In his last 6 months when he was in a nursing home a dentist wanted to take out what was left of rotting teeth and give him false teeth. OH PLease the nerve!!!
BTW a friend of mine was billed from the nursing home by a shrink who charged for 2 visits a week to her husband who was comatose. She fought it and won, of course so do be aware!!!
I did not go back to the meetings, all I heard there were horror stories and I was not ready for that.
If I remember right he drove another 3 years and taking away his license was the worst for him as he did not understand that he did no longer belong on the road, that he missed red lights and that it was time.
A friend of his from CA and I decided we'd do one more trip to Torremolinos Spain. We would watch him in stages and different hours if need be.
Our tour guide found him once in the street and brought him back.
Friend A. forgot to watch him.
We had a good time in spite of it all except in airports where they have
2 exits in one restroom and he had gone out the wrong way.
Then our plane seats had been changed and he was separated from me.
When it was time to leave he went for the front and the pilots, that brought on some commotion. It was his last flight.
Early on I was active in preparations, labeled the cabinets with titles :"glasses" "plates" " your shorts" etc...he would laugh but he never really used them
when it was time to use them he forgot much of spelling.
I installed cheap little cameras in drive way to see if he left the grounds and
run after him. One day he got away and walked 6 miles. He had walked into a
youth camp along the highway and it was a miracle he turned around and out the right way as the camp was closed and was a huge place with lakes etc....
He was skinny by then but he could walk like an athlete , he had always walked.
I do not believe there is a set rule on how to detect this or predict it unless the new tests are reliable. A friend of mine only knew her husband was ill when he
put his hand on a hot stove burner and had a badly burned hand. He did not understand why. She had him checked and he was well on his way to D/A
I worked and lived 24/7 with Bob for decades, I knew him too well and I knew
I think from the very tiny first beginnings. It is hard to accept, you do not want that in your life and his/her life.
If a person lives alone a lot of people would not notice much until one day he/she drives 2 states away and wonder why they are there. Happened to a friend of ours.
My best friend one day said : "I knew it when he did not remember Gustaf Klimt"
That did not bother me in the least, I knew the man, he had no respect for modern art at all and would not bother to look at it or remember their names.
If he did not remember Caravaggio then we would have a problem.
You have to know the person in details, if you will, to detect the first stages of D/A. That is my humble opinion.
Today, of course, as I said before, there is a test but how accurate is it?
For years I read that only if they do an autopsy do they know what kind of disease took the patient. This too may have changed.
Bob left us a year ago. It took 13 years from our golden years.
The last 6 months he was in a rest home as I had broken my ankle in 3 places and could not watch him. That part was very difficult for me. Yet in retrospect he had a good time there, he walked the halls and shook hands with everyone and kissed the old ladies hands. He brought joy to some people during the last months of his life.
Here alone at home with me and my son, not knowing who we were he would have been miserable. At least that is what I an trying to tell myself.
FB Friend K. Hope that will help you on your journey, may it just be a false alarm.
9 11 2011
Ten years have gone by.
Where were we? Of course, we never forget that day.
How could we?
An attack on American soil in the middle of New York/
How can we ever forget anything like that?
It is the kind of stuff writers of science fiction keeps them busy but not
reality like this.
Bob was still able to drive and understand we were out to have a good time at
Harrah's in Cherokee, 100 miles from home.
We had spent the day before gambling our allotted money.
I had watched him closely to make sure he was not to confused in this
milieu but he stuck to one machine, looked up now and then to see me
then continued.
We had a good time but he no longer could play the poker machine, he forgot how to.
Not sure how much he figured out on the slot machine but he did play for
quite awhile.
After we stuffed ourselves on their fabulous bar, all you can eat, we went to our usual motel. It was a 1950's model, very clean but very retro looking and not
expensive, we always stayed with these people.
Woke up in the morning ready to go to Mac Donalds for breakfast and head on home.
Turned on "Good Morning America", I remember sitting on the side of the bed
and looking at the TV when ,I think it was Charlie, he said:"We just heard that there was an explosion or something happening by the Towers...we will keep you posted and you saw the concern on their faces.
I was struggling getting into my socks as I kept looking at the screen, I remember thinking that this was probably something small to get us excited about.
Calls started to come in and someone said he had been in the army and he was sure it was some sort of missile that hit the tower. He had heard the noise of a missile. More concern! Quickly we had a view of the tower and black smoke, then the notion that a small plane had crashed in there. As I sat staring on the TV with the host of GMA in total shock , I saw the second plane coming at the right for a second was lost in sight and then an explosion.
My heart must have pumped at full speed.
I was petrified.
I said to Bob: "Honey , this is war, we are having a war and we must go home to the kids" he was a bit confused but followed my orders.
Outside I called my best friend Lee and told her the news in case she had not watched TV, she had not, she had kids in NY.
I called our kids and said that we were on our way.
They asked me questions, Mom was does this mean. I said it means WAR.
My childhood fears had returned. After ww2 I just always feared another war.
It took decades to get over it.
It was right back.
We went to Mc Donalds to eat breakfast before we'd go and I saw people in line like nothing had happened, here and there someone would say something about
a problem in N Y but no one was agitated as I was. I think they had not heard all of it yet and did not react yet.
A lady came in and yelled out : A plane landed in the Pentagon.
Say what? another plane????
We jumped into the car breakfast in hand and headed home between the gorgeous mountains of The Blue Ridge and part of the Smokeys.
All the way I kept calling the kids but lost contact.
I told Bob that for sure this was a declaration of war from somewhere...
I said: first thing we do is plant a vegetable garden, we will need this, we will
have shortages. I tried to remember what I could plant this late...
rutabaga , beets, Brussels sprouts, spinach ???
Bob agreed with it all. He no longer was getting excited about such things but he
was somewhat agitated. Too much commotion.
Once home and in contact with the kids and watching TV till all hours in the night I started to calm down with my war idea.
As things developed and became clear the shock became greater because of the loss of lives.
All our N Y friends had survived and were in state of numbness ,one had a gorgeous just renovated shop a few blocks from there and ultimately lost his business.
Will I ever forget that day? Not possible.
What followed was another catastrophe with thousands of more lives lost on both sides, the "enemy" and our men and woman in a war far away and not needed (in my opinion) a war in Iraq.
Followed by...Afghanistan......
I do not have to plant beets in September but I am sure that in these warn thorn places a mother is wondering what to put on the plate of her children....
"War" an ugly word.
Where were we? Of course, we never forget that day.
How could we?
An attack on American soil in the middle of New York/
How can we ever forget anything like that?
It is the kind of stuff writers of science fiction keeps them busy but not
reality like this.
Bob was still able to drive and understand we were out to have a good time at
Harrah's in Cherokee, 100 miles from home.
We had spent the day before gambling our allotted money.
I had watched him closely to make sure he was not to confused in this
milieu but he stuck to one machine, looked up now and then to see me
then continued.
We had a good time but he no longer could play the poker machine, he forgot how to.
Not sure how much he figured out on the slot machine but he did play for
quite awhile.
After we stuffed ourselves on their fabulous bar, all you can eat, we went to our usual motel. It was a 1950's model, very clean but very retro looking and not
expensive, we always stayed with these people.
Woke up in the morning ready to go to Mac Donalds for breakfast and head on home.
Turned on "Good Morning America", I remember sitting on the side of the bed
and looking at the TV when ,I think it was Charlie, he said:"We just heard that there was an explosion or something happening by the Towers...we will keep you posted and you saw the concern on their faces.
I was struggling getting into my socks as I kept looking at the screen, I remember thinking that this was probably something small to get us excited about.
Calls started to come in and someone said he had been in the army and he was sure it was some sort of missile that hit the tower. He had heard the noise of a missile. More concern! Quickly we had a view of the tower and black smoke, then the notion that a small plane had crashed in there. As I sat staring on the TV with the host of GMA in total shock , I saw the second plane coming at the right for a second was lost in sight and then an explosion.
My heart must have pumped at full speed.
I was petrified.
I said to Bob: "Honey , this is war, we are having a war and we must go home to the kids" he was a bit confused but followed my orders.
Outside I called my best friend Lee and told her the news in case she had not watched TV, she had not, she had kids in NY.
I called our kids and said that we were on our way.
They asked me questions, Mom was does this mean. I said it means WAR.
My childhood fears had returned. After ww2 I just always feared another war.
It took decades to get over it.
It was right back.
We went to Mc Donalds to eat breakfast before we'd go and I saw people in line like nothing had happened, here and there someone would say something about
a problem in N Y but no one was agitated as I was. I think they had not heard all of it yet and did not react yet.
A lady came in and yelled out : A plane landed in the Pentagon.
Say what? another plane????
We jumped into the car breakfast in hand and headed home between the gorgeous mountains of The Blue Ridge and part of the Smokeys.
All the way I kept calling the kids but lost contact.
I told Bob that for sure this was a declaration of war from somewhere...
I said: first thing we do is plant a vegetable garden, we will need this, we will
have shortages. I tried to remember what I could plant this late...
rutabaga , beets, Brussels sprouts, spinach ???
Bob agreed with it all. He no longer was getting excited about such things but he
was somewhat agitated. Too much commotion.
Once home and in contact with the kids and watching TV till all hours in the night I started to calm down with my war idea.
As things developed and became clear the shock became greater because of the loss of lives.
All our N Y friends had survived and were in state of numbness ,one had a gorgeous just renovated shop a few blocks from there and ultimately lost his business.
Will I ever forget that day? Not possible.
What followed was another catastrophe with thousands of more lives lost on both sides, the "enemy" and our men and woman in a war far away and not needed (in my opinion) a war in Iraq.
Followed by...Afghanistan......
I do not have to plant beets in September but I am sure that in these warn thorn places a mother is wondering what to put on the plate of her children....
"War" an ugly word.
Thursday, September 8, 2011
started my morning with ...........
choking on a Belgian Spekulaas, a Belgian cookie. Could not breathe in or out.
Son came to the rescue with the H maneuver but it took forever (so it seemed) to get wind in these old popes. Did I see my whole life flash before me knowing this was it?
No, not I, I thought "I am going to die choking on a Belgian cookie, that is so not cool" As Bob worked one me over and over again, Bijou, barked and barked.
He got the rest of the cookie.
other interest today one of our Father Christmas dolls is up for sale on eBay.
They call it a St Nicholas, how gauche. It is a Father Christmas, you dummy!
There are 1600 of them out there so it is bound to happen.
Sky is still grey but I do not think we will have rain today, sun promised for week end, I am enjoying the cool weather...love it.
I got up at 7 with his majesty, Bijou, crawled back into bed and woke at 11...
what is the rush..........no rush for nothing......
With so much beauty sleep I should go back 20 years but it is not happening.....
I have orders for necklaces I need to pick it up....
Son came to the rescue with the H maneuver but it took forever (so it seemed) to get wind in these old popes. Did I see my whole life flash before me knowing this was it?
No, not I, I thought "I am going to die choking on a Belgian cookie, that is so not cool" As Bob worked one me over and over again, Bijou, barked and barked.
He got the rest of the cookie.
other interest today one of our Father Christmas dolls is up for sale on eBay.
They call it a St Nicholas, how gauche. It is a Father Christmas, you dummy!
There are 1600 of them out there so it is bound to happen.
Sky is still grey but I do not think we will have rain today, sun promised for week end, I am enjoying the cool weather...love it.
I got up at 7 with his majesty, Bijou, crawled back into bed and woke at 11...
what is the rush..........no rush for nothing......
With so much beauty sleep I should go back 20 years but it is not happening.....
I have orders for necklaces I need to pick it up....
Wednesday, September 7, 2011
the 7th September and rain continues
I think it is part of that storm Katia but we do need the rain in this area.
Yesterday I did nothing but take naps, I was exhausted from the vacation.
But today I feel terrific and happy that I had that change in scenery.
It all worked out very well.
Zack is my bodyguard and he takes his job seriously.
We are already planning on trips together, ha ha.
We get along so well.
Brie is so happy that she conquered another fear and can now dive into the waves.
She is taking on a lot of old fears and growing while she wins them.
Bijou is still hanging on to my every move, guess he missed me.
He does not let go of Mama.
Everyone is doing fine so that is the best news.
Yesterday I did nothing but take naps, I was exhausted from the vacation.
But today I feel terrific and happy that I had that change in scenery.
It all worked out very well.
Zack is my bodyguard and he takes his job seriously.
We are already planning on trips together, ha ha.
We get along so well.
Brie is so happy that she conquered another fear and can now dive into the waves.
She is taking on a lot of old fears and growing while she wins them.
Bijou is still hanging on to my every move, guess he missed me.
He does not let go of Mama.
Everyone is doing fine so that is the best news.
Tuesday, September 6, 2011
Labor day gone
So we had the beach, the hotel was lovely, the room spacious for all of us with kitchenette and extra Murphy bed.
The Young ones did their thing and I did mine.
I now know that I am having to watch the vertigo and the back.
The ride in was brutal at the end as we started late and I had been running about before our departure.
We went past Florence and had a good night rest before we hit North Myrtle.
The only problam wwas check in at 4 pm, we got in at 3
but the kids went and did their thing on the beach while I read in the lobby.
Frank went fishing every day but did not catch, on the Pier the sharks circled and ate the fish before the fishermen had a chance...that is his story anyway....
Brie and Zack were water rats, Brie overcame some more of her fears and just loved it in the waves. I did go into the "river" in a tube and it was relaxing to say the least, the back can't get hurt that way
It was a lovely week end and I would do it again after I save some money and the kids have a long week end.
The Young ones did their thing and I did mine.
I now know that I am having to watch the vertigo and the back.
The ride in was brutal at the end as we started late and I had been running about before our departure.
We went past Florence and had a good night rest before we hit North Myrtle.
The only problam wwas check in at 4 pm, we got in at 3
but the kids went and did their thing on the beach while I read in the lobby.
Frank went fishing every day but did not catch, on the Pier the sharks circled and ate the fish before the fishermen had a chance...that is his story anyway....
Brie and Zack were water rats, Brie overcame some more of her fears and just loved it in the waves. I did go into the "river" in a tube and it was relaxing to say the least, the back can't get hurt that way
It was a lovely week end and I would do it again after I save some money and the kids have a long week end.
Monday, September 5, 2011
Anniversary one
it's a year.
I miss you so much.
At Myrtle this past week end.
I remembered how we walked the beach in Destin for many years
how lucky we had that.
Me and my budget.
We had a budget from one wednesday to the other
and one Tuesday night you wanted donuts.
I said No more money in my budget.
Tomorrow morning we will run to Dunkin.
You pouted and I did not give in.
The vacations were nice but we did not have extra money so I
took this seriously.
You never did understand money.
You understood flowers of all kinds, trees, clouds....oh how you loved clouds even when you no longer knew their name you pointed to them
One day an airplane flew near the clouds and you acted shocked, you asked me what that was. I said :"an airplane, honey, you have been in them many times".
You smiled and said :"really?"
It seemed to please you but you went right back to looking at the clouds.
Today as we drove home I pretended you were in the truck.
I can't hear the conversations around me so I am having head talks with you.
I always win too.
You do not talk back.
I so wanted to see another blue butterfly, none showed up, we stopped at a rest area and some bikers had a picnic near us. The girl bend down and in the small of her back she had a gorgeous blue tattoo of a butterfly.
I was happy.
That biker chick had no idea that she gave me a signal from you.
I miss you I love you and always will.
Hope that you are in a better place. Hope you are healed and happy.
I miss you so much.
At Myrtle this past week end.
I remembered how we walked the beach in Destin for many years
how lucky we had that.
Me and my budget.
We had a budget from one wednesday to the other
and one Tuesday night you wanted donuts.
I said No more money in my budget.
Tomorrow morning we will run to Dunkin.
You pouted and I did not give in.
The vacations were nice but we did not have extra money so I
took this seriously.
You never did understand money.
You understood flowers of all kinds, trees, clouds....oh how you loved clouds even when you no longer knew their name you pointed to them
One day an airplane flew near the clouds and you acted shocked, you asked me what that was. I said :"an airplane, honey, you have been in them many times".
You smiled and said :"really?"
It seemed to please you but you went right back to looking at the clouds.
Today as we drove home I pretended you were in the truck.
I can't hear the conversations around me so I am having head talks with you.
I always win too.
You do not talk back.
I so wanted to see another blue butterfly, none showed up, we stopped at a rest area and some bikers had a picnic near us. The girl bend down and in the small of her back she had a gorgeous blue tattoo of a butterfly.
I was happy.
That biker chick had no idea that she gave me a signal from you.
I miss you I love you and always will.
Hope that you are in a better place. Hope you are healed and happy.
Thursday, September 1, 2011
the other side of September
What is it we are supposed to say?
White Rabbit, White Rabbit and all will be fine!
White Rabbit, White Rabbit and all will be fine!
September it is!
9/1/11
Been reading a lot of European mail lately and the confusion set in
as they write 1/9/11 and my slower brain has to justify it all.
I am going to have a slow week end.
I am going to relax more.
I have 3 books on the Kindle, lets see what I do with it.
I have replenished the stock for shoppe, will be a busy week end for them.
I am trying to redirect my mind and forget that the 5th is one year when
Bob left us. The whole week the scene of me saying goodbye kept flashing in front of me. I still have a lot of problems with remembering him when he was well and
functioning. I can't imagine that he went shopping, in the car, alone, to get what was on my list. Did he ever do that? I question myself. No visual in the memory bank of that.
When I walk Bijou I look for his image at the end of my street, to the day that I broke my ankle and he had to go to a rest home, he stood there, I could count on him to stand there and look for me. If he turned around the other way he became confused and walked towards 5th Avenue. If he kept focused on me coming down the
hill then he was ok till we were close and Bijou thought he just found his friend.
Why is it so hard to remember the good times. To remember him healthy.
I want to forget the last 13 years, should I forget???
Can I ever stop the pain?
Been reading a lot of European mail lately and the confusion set in
as they write 1/9/11 and my slower brain has to justify it all.
I am going to have a slow week end.
I am going to relax more.
I have 3 books on the Kindle, lets see what I do with it.
I have replenished the stock for shoppe, will be a busy week end for them.
I am trying to redirect my mind and forget that the 5th is one year when
Bob left us. The whole week the scene of me saying goodbye kept flashing in front of me. I still have a lot of problems with remembering him when he was well and
functioning. I can't imagine that he went shopping, in the car, alone, to get what was on my list. Did he ever do that? I question myself. No visual in the memory bank of that.
When I walk Bijou I look for his image at the end of my street, to the day that I broke my ankle and he had to go to a rest home, he stood there, I could count on him to stand there and look for me. If he turned around the other way he became confused and walked towards 5th Avenue. If he kept focused on me coming down the
hill then he was ok till we were close and Bijou thought he just found his friend.
Why is it so hard to remember the good times. To remember him healthy.
I want to forget the last 13 years, should I forget???
Can I ever stop the pain?
Wednesday, August 31, 2011
Katia? then Lee?
EYES ON THE ATLANTIC: Tropical Storm Katia is in the Central Atlantic, and it could be upgraded to a hurricane later today.
But under that I noticed they are also talking about one named LEE, how about them apples Mrs. Kush?
Stay dry for a change
But under that I noticed they are also talking about one named LEE, how about them apples Mrs. Kush?
Stay dry for a change
Tuesday, August 30, 2011
Brie still sickly and the Hudson river in 1954
She said she could not even find the cough syrup Robitussin (sp) it was all sold out.
I guess there is something good about being isolated in your house , you do not see people but you do not see sick people either. Ha!
Ran out of dog food and waiting for my ride in the meantime i am checking the freezer and making them salmon with rice. It is good to be a dog in my house, believe me.
I am back to calm but I have no appetite, what is up with that??
No wonder my hypogl.....is kicking in I forgot to eat lunch.
I also slept 3 hours this afternoon.
I should be a beauty by now if I am getting all this beauty sleep.
I think it is a "wrinkle" sleep.
I was thinking a lot about the Hudson river last week as Irene embraced the area.
I went back to 1954 ,living in Montreal waiting for a visa and my sponsors to arrive stateside. My then husband and I purchased a 1949 or 47 I am not sure Studebaker, green, it was a dud, of course we knew nothing about cars, none of our peers back home had cars as yet so we were very proud of that clunker.
The Schachts (our sponsors) arrived in Camp Kilmer New Jersey after their last tour of duty in Germany. With them came my dishes, my clock, my most beloved Spooky.
I had to give up Spooky for my dream to come to the US.
Spooky was a wirehaired terrier and loved me and vice versa. He was my baby.
The Schachts came to gethim in Ghent before we departed and I can still see him on
the back of the seat just looking at me "What have you done?" he said.
I crumbled for weeks thereafter.
So now we have a chance to go visit while still waiting for our immigration visa.
We managed to get a visitors visa and get into the car , no insurance, no worries but getting to the USA for a visit.
The Studebaker soon told us it liked oil. Not gasoline but oil. At every small and big town we filled the oil while we left somewhat of a trail of smoke.
As we crossed the border I did some more crying, I was home and I could not stay.
It was just a short visit. I believe the only super highway finished then was
the NJ Turnpike. We just went from village to village enjoying every white church and steeple as I seen in the Life Magazines I had looked at back home.
America was as beautiful as I had been dreaming.
Then we came to a point that we followed the Hudson, I remember at one curve we were shocked as in front of us were hundreds of left to rust army boats of all sizes.
They looked to me like all "Seapower" size, the boat who came to repair our elctricity in 1945 and parked in front of my door at the Canal of Terneuzen.
We stopped and just stood in wonder of all this hardware which no doubt had seen a lot of war and had been the place where people had died.
It was a somber view hard to wrap your head around it.
The ride in the Catskills had surprised me as their were many hotels and resorts and on some they had signs "Gentiles only" ,I did not understand what this was until Sergeant Schacht explained it to me.
Once we found Camp kilmer it was a closed camp. I think Eisenhower had closed a lot of them. My friends were the skeleton crew to keep order in the barracks and they lived in a huge barrack with room to dance around in it.
Spooky came slowly towards us but did not know us and my heart started to break in pieces....I yelled out : Spooky, Spooky!
He knew that voice and came running at me in full speed jumping in my arms.
We were there 3 days and he never left my legs, in the bathroom, the shower, by the bed , Spooky was there. He broke my heart, we could not have taken him back to Canada, we were not allowed dogs in our apartment and we were hoping to get the permanent visa any day now (took another year).
I left my heart om N J that year and the return to Montreal was anything but fun with the smoking Studebaker.
The Hudson River did not seem that great now and the boats did not even make us stop on the return.
A week or so later a letter came from America.
The Schachts were in shock and in pain too, Spooky had just gone to sleep and died 3 days after we left. He had a broken heart.
I guess there is something good about being isolated in your house , you do not see people but you do not see sick people either. Ha!
Ran out of dog food and waiting for my ride in the meantime i am checking the freezer and making them salmon with rice. It is good to be a dog in my house, believe me.
I am back to calm but I have no appetite, what is up with that??
No wonder my hypogl.....is kicking in I forgot to eat lunch.
I also slept 3 hours this afternoon.
I should be a beauty by now if I am getting all this beauty sleep.
I think it is a "wrinkle" sleep.
I was thinking a lot about the Hudson river last week as Irene embraced the area.
I went back to 1954 ,living in Montreal waiting for a visa and my sponsors to arrive stateside. My then husband and I purchased a 1949 or 47 I am not sure Studebaker, green, it was a dud, of course we knew nothing about cars, none of our peers back home had cars as yet so we were very proud of that clunker.
The Schachts (our sponsors) arrived in Camp Kilmer New Jersey after their last tour of duty in Germany. With them came my dishes, my clock, my most beloved Spooky.
I had to give up Spooky for my dream to come to the US.
Spooky was a wirehaired terrier and loved me and vice versa. He was my baby.
The Schachts came to gethim in Ghent before we departed and I can still see him on
the back of the seat just looking at me "What have you done?" he said.
I crumbled for weeks thereafter.
So now we have a chance to go visit while still waiting for our immigration visa.
We managed to get a visitors visa and get into the car , no insurance, no worries but getting to the USA for a visit.
The Studebaker soon told us it liked oil. Not gasoline but oil. At every small and big town we filled the oil while we left somewhat of a trail of smoke.
As we crossed the border I did some more crying, I was home and I could not stay.
It was just a short visit. I believe the only super highway finished then was
the NJ Turnpike. We just went from village to village enjoying every white church and steeple as I seen in the Life Magazines I had looked at back home.
America was as beautiful as I had been dreaming.
Then we came to a point that we followed the Hudson, I remember at one curve we were shocked as in front of us were hundreds of left to rust army boats of all sizes.
They looked to me like all "Seapower" size, the boat who came to repair our elctricity in 1945 and parked in front of my door at the Canal of Terneuzen.
We stopped and just stood in wonder of all this hardware which no doubt had seen a lot of war and had been the place where people had died.
It was a somber view hard to wrap your head around it.
The ride in the Catskills had surprised me as their were many hotels and resorts and on some they had signs "Gentiles only" ,I did not understand what this was until Sergeant Schacht explained it to me.
Once we found Camp kilmer it was a closed camp. I think Eisenhower had closed a lot of them. My friends were the skeleton crew to keep order in the barracks and they lived in a huge barrack with room to dance around in it.
Spooky came slowly towards us but did not know us and my heart started to break in pieces....I yelled out : Spooky, Spooky!
He knew that voice and came running at me in full speed jumping in my arms.
We were there 3 days and he never left my legs, in the bathroom, the shower, by the bed , Spooky was there. He broke my heart, we could not have taken him back to Canada, we were not allowed dogs in our apartment and we were hoping to get the permanent visa any day now (took another year).
I left my heart om N J that year and the return to Montreal was anything but fun with the smoking Studebaker.
The Hudson River did not seem that great now and the boats did not even make us stop on the return.
A week or so later a letter came from America.
The Schachts were in shock and in pain too, Spooky had just gone to sleep and died 3 days after we left. He had a broken heart.
Monday, August 29, 2011
Calming Monday
My New Jersey friends are OK. Maggie in Wilmington is OK. Lee in Mass. is OK.
Kids on the boat are OK. Noah is OK , Sabra too, I can relax now.
I only watched half the news tonight and let it rest.
Latest on news is that chocolate including milk chocolate is good for combating heart disease, wonder if Nestle was the sponsor of the search.
The Monday quarter back, is that what they call it? I am not into football.
Well now different opinions are being posted everywhere about how the predictions were handled. Give me a break, it is mother nature and she is fickle. We are doing better at this year after year but still are we supposed to say:
"You know people it may be very bad or nothing at all, go play bridge, run around naked if you will, all is cool. We just do not know much, bye bye".
In view of Katrina's past I do think that we need to be vigilant and the politicians have a lot at stake here. We need to know what to do next and if suddenly the sun appears then get a sun tan!
Kids on the boat are OK. Noah is OK , Sabra too, I can relax now.
I only watched half the news tonight and let it rest.
Latest on news is that chocolate including milk chocolate is good for combating heart disease, wonder if Nestle was the sponsor of the search.
The Monday quarter back, is that what they call it? I am not into football.
Well now different opinions are being posted everywhere about how the predictions were handled. Give me a break, it is mother nature and she is fickle. We are doing better at this year after year but still are we supposed to say:
"You know people it may be very bad or nothing at all, go play bridge, run around naked if you will, all is cool. We just do not know much, bye bye".
In view of Katrina's past I do think that we need to be vigilant and the politicians have a lot at stake here. We need to know what to do next and if suddenly the sun appears then get a sun tan!
Irene out of here? On way to Canada?
I have not watched the news this morning.
I am on news overload.
I was so antsy and at times started to think I had to move the garden furniture.
I became disoriented at times...not good.
The boat people have decisions to make and if you read Rhonda's answer to Ana then you know that they expect a lot of debris on the Hudson.
Debris and cleaning up water in many townships is the heartache now.
Seeing the lovely New England houses row by row in water breaks my heart.
Getting all these sick people back to N Y will be a project.
Rand sent a photo taken from a high building in NY , you see the street below and five huge trees all down in the middle of the street like dominoes...
Mother would have said it is good for the tree farmers and landscape artists.
Maybe not, maybe there is not going to be enough in the budgets to replant.
I keep looking out at that naked, dead tree a street up from me it will fall this winter, it will just miss my house but will drop on the cop's house if it falls in our direction.
I doubt the lady who owns it has the funds to have it cut down. She is somewhat of a recluse.
Sabrina sounds like Lauren Bacall, she has problems in the windpipes for sure...
A new week and less worries....Imagine that!!! Great!!!!
I am on news overload.
I was so antsy and at times started to think I had to move the garden furniture.
I became disoriented at times...not good.
The boat people have decisions to make and if you read Rhonda's answer to Ana then you know that they expect a lot of debris on the Hudson.
Debris and cleaning up water in many townships is the heartache now.
Seeing the lovely New England houses row by row in water breaks my heart.
Getting all these sick people back to N Y will be a project.
Rand sent a photo taken from a high building in NY , you see the street below and five huge trees all down in the middle of the street like dominoes...
Mother would have said it is good for the tree farmers and landscape artists.
Maybe not, maybe there is not going to be enough in the budgets to replant.
I keep looking out at that naked, dead tree a street up from me it will fall this winter, it will just miss my house but will drop on the cop's house if it falls in our direction.
I doubt the lady who owns it has the funds to have it cut down. She is somewhat of a recluse.
Sabrina sounds like Lauren Bacall, she has problems in the windpipes for sure...
A new week and less worries....Imagine that!!! Great!!!!
Sunday, August 28, 2011
The cab driver said it would not be bad but...the mayor said:
Worst Poughkeepsie flooding in recent memory, officials say
POUGHKEEPSIE – The city’s most senior officials say Hurricane Irene caused the worst flooding of Poughkeepsie in recent history.
The Hudson River crested over its banks and flooded Waryas Park, extending past the Ice House. The Mid-Hudson Bridge was barely visible during the height of the storm and its driving rain.
Mayor John Tkazyik said now comes figuring out how to pay for the overtime and repairs to any damaged infrastructure. (Listen to interview with the mayor.)
“We are hopeful that given what the President and the Governor have stated that we are going to be able to keep track of many of these additional costs that we are experiencing and get some financial support and able to cover the overtime, additional manpower and additional resources we are utilizing,” he said.
The Hudson also crested over its banks in the City of Newburgh and flooded out at least one popular waterfront eatery.
Residents experiencing flooding may call 845-451-4000 to report them.
POUGHKEEPSIE – The city’s most senior officials say Hurricane Irene caused the worst flooding of Poughkeepsie in recent history.
The Hudson River crested over its banks and flooded Waryas Park, extending past the Ice House. The Mid-Hudson Bridge was barely visible during the height of the storm and its driving rain.
Mayor John Tkazyik said now comes figuring out how to pay for the overtime and repairs to any damaged infrastructure. (Listen to interview with the mayor.)
“We are hopeful that given what the President and the Governor have stated that we are going to be able to keep track of many of these additional costs that we are experiencing and get some financial support and able to cover the overtime, additional manpower and additional resources we are utilizing,” he said.
The Hudson also crested over its banks in the City of Newburgh and flooded out at least one popular waterfront eatery.
Residents experiencing flooding may call 845-451-4000 to report them.
Ana, who?
Ana I read is not due until 2015
Gert may come up next
There was an Ana some time ago too.
Gert may come up next
There was an Ana some time ago too.
boat found in perfect shape
we can relax now.
Is there another one coming our wAY? A hurricane I mean, someone emailed me that but that is a cruel joke, no?
Is there another one coming our wAY? A hurricane I mean, someone emailed me that but that is a cruel joke, no?
How to spell Poughkeepsie
I am tired of trying different ways to spell that town so I will be glad when they are on board and on the way to places I can spell.
Irene I can spell and never want to see or hear it again.
I have had at with this storm and news man standing in 3 inches of water trying to make it sound worse. A friend wrote me that and I had been thinking it all night, wondering how much disaster they could actually show.
Now when I see house without a roof I feel the pain of the owners and when I hear about 13 dead in N C I am quite devastated.
I am still waiting for N J and Mass friends to tell me that their trees did not come down on their houses, that is a concern.....
Irene I can spell and never want to see or hear it again.
I have had at with this storm and news man standing in 3 inches of water trying to make it sound worse. A friend wrote me that and I had been thinking it all night, wondering how much disaster they could actually show.
Now when I see house without a roof I feel the pain of the owners and when I hear about 13 dead in N C I am quite devastated.
I am still waiting for N J and Mass friends to tell me that their trees did not come down on their houses, that is a concern.....
67 feet?
amateurs — 43 electronically and nine celestially, including all-female Etoile, three double-handed, 10 short-handed and three family boats. Two Voyagers vie for prizes in different classes — a 40-foot yacht skippered by Clifford Kurz and a 67-footer skippered by Geraldo Rivera.
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