Goodbye to my best friend

Monday October 13 2008

I lost my best friend.
A four legged little charmer named Toto.
He was a pistol and for some reason decided on
an argument with a larger dog.
He did not win.

For four years he had been the the one
continued sunshine in my life.
The only continued sunshine.

He would go crazy when he saw me coming.
He looked sad when I had to leave for work.
He looked sadly at his Dad who sometimes would push him away.

He would sit on my lap by the computer, his head
resting on my arm and it would bobble with every letter I typed,
up and down he went and yet it did not bother him.
When I sat on the couch he would wrap himself around my neck,
he was my white fur piece.
He wanted to sleep in his crate in the night and be left alone.
So by 9 he would stand by the door looking at me , as if to say:
Come on time to sleep!.

In the morning we had our walk before work and he
had his designated areas but when it rained he decided
he would do neither.
So early on I started to spoil him and take him under the umbrella
to the car port next door so there he felt it did not rain and
he was ok.
My son in law thought this to be extremely funny.
When he was little I had to take him up the steps.

We bought him on the voting day in November 2004
we hoped for Kerry so we named him that.
The next day when we knew Kerry did not make it
old Bob decided to name him Toto from the movie.

I have not changed my clothing in 3 days, have left the
stove on when it should have been off.
Have made no progress in anything like housework
and could not care less.

I mostly sit and cry or sleep.
I feel like my heart is in pieces, I am surprised it does not
just come out of my chest.

My mother who was not a fan of animals would have said:
It is just a dog, Jeannot.
Since then I heard people who have mourned more for their
dogs then some humans.

I decided to have another puppy.
Can't replace Toto, not ever, he was unique.
I need to hold something and to love something.
I need a fur ball in my lap.
I need company.

Both Joan Rivers and Cindy Adams wrote about their puppies
and how they saved them when their husbands died.
At that time I thought they were crazy dames, well,I have joined the club.

My son is helping me to buy another puppy, these little guys
cost money, jeez! I know I should rescue one from the shelter
but Maltese rarely show up there and that is what I want in
temperament. I am not going to feel guilty about that too.
I have enough guilt every day to fill 3 life times.

We thought to name the puppy Obama and hoping that
this time it will bring the candidate some luck.
A snow white puppy named Obama.
That is fun.
We shall see , I am to look at one on Friday.
Wish me luck.
Wish for me to find some piece of mind. (Yup I am talking to myself)