Solo visit

Took a taxi to and fro.
I just could not stay away from the
nursing home.
I thought he'd eat for me.
He ate a few bites of veggies mush.
He ate the banana I brought.
He held my hand or arm the whole time.
Then he motioned for him to go with me. I said :Sorry , you have to stay here, this is home now but I come back tomorrow. He nodded.
He could hardly walk, he is too weak.
He walked to a wheel chair and sat down.
He did not even look back when I left.'
The whole week it has been one of tears. I so want to bring him home but I am wise enough that is no longer an option.
I am glad I went and at least got a banana in him.
He does not want to drink either.
If it is all about me then I would say it all sucks and I am crushed.
If it is all about him then I would say no one should have to wait for death in such a condition for all these years.
The only consolation is that he is not in pain, at least it does not appear so but then would he know what pain is???