I hope she does not mind that i copy her reply to my letter previously written.
We are very good friends, she had a very bad day and perhaps I did help her with a smile.
I sure hope so. Her worries are real, the golden age becoming a bit tarnished as a lot of
us are finding out.....
her reply:
Dear Jeannot,
You "had" me from the first line . . . and I lived every moment with you, smiling at Rhonda (well, at times) and crying with you through the emotional portions . . . and then the good bed after the "drinking" -- and lady, you really had an experience that I haven't heard the likes of in a long long time.
With all the ups and downs and questioning beforehand, it was well worth it -- as otherwise, I guess all we would do is sit in our houses NOT making memories -- which Rhonda WILL remember forever -- and your part in it all. Someday she will cry about it too.
It was a GREAT STORY told so well . . . and worth getting it all out in that always wonderful way you do, catching the reader into it with a giant HOOK.
I keep saying that I am so glad I know Jeannot -- as she is inspirational -- and truthful and as fun as they come. We were "meant" to have connected -- the greatest gift.
Thank you thank you . . . for lightening my day in the most delightful way -- after Federer LOST while I was rooting him on on NBC no less. This has not been my -- MONTH -- !
Love you so,
Friday, June 8, 2012
June 6 aTLANTA AND NEIL DIAMOND
It had been a bad week.
My grandson ,Zacl, had a secret, he did not tell his parents that on his upper thigh he had something growing.
It was the size of a baseball. When we found out, I freaked out. I am known for inventing worries.
This was a real one. The surgeon said he had no idea what this was. He did not reassure , my daughter Brie had a stiff upper lip when she talked to me. I know her better. She was devastated and frightened thinking that none of the drs had told her that "it would be ok".
Zack was scheduled for in hospital surgery.
It was for June 6th.
I had a date on June 6th. Something I had waited for ...maybe forever...thinking I would never see a concert with Neil Diamond.
He was getting up there in age and possibly out of favors with the young.
I just could not see going when my giant baby (he is 6 feet 6") would undergo surgery.
His mother insisted that there was nothing I could do.
"Go, away, Mom and enjoy". She said. How could I do that? Is she nuts?
We would know early enough in the morning and then we could decide on the last minute.
=========
A friend emailed me this morning, the 8th, and asked to give me all the details of my trip.
She got more words than she needed and here they are again:
g........................
TO: 1 recipient
Show Details
Hi Friend,
Wednesday: waiting and waiting to hear from hospital, I was not yet sure I would go to Atlanta even if there was nothing I could do.
Rhonda was late...good so.
Then Brie called and I heard in her voice the tears and the relief.
All was well. Then a couple of hours later Zack called from the car:"Meme, I am sleepy but I am just fine"
I am on my way home and bed.
OK Zack I love you Bye Bye.
I cry from relief and joy. This is my baby too. Nobody better forget that.
We are sort of tied to a second umbilical cord. We always have.
Then waiting anxiously for Rhonda.
Bobby anxious about his car which he loans us.
The car has not seen a highway and speed in 4 years, she needs a good 70 mi;les an hour blow out.
I am on pins and needles for our trip...love Diamond...love to see the show BUT...
Rhonda can get upset over the smallest short sentence you just let out of your mouth and it
becomes a tsunami, destroying the last 50 years of her life.
I very seldom crave alcohol but right now I would like a stiff drink and relax my tangled nerves.
I know my way by heart, we have been to Atlanta hundreds of time to the Merchandise Mart and to
work in Antique shows. All is downtown. Nice town, dangerous at night.
She wanted me to Google the trip , Bobby does not want a GSP in his car, so I better stay awake
and tell her where to go.
En route we have a Cracker Barrell Luncheon and all goes well.
The car is smooth and very comfortable much better then my Tercel, the gas needle does not move from the "F".
So now I make up something new tp worry about :"Maybe the gas gadget is no longer working so we better tank up soon"
I look at the miles and we only have done 50 miles so far....maybe..just maybe...tells me my
brain....maybe you still have a pretty full tank...RELAX, OLD BIRD, RELAX.
Rhonda puts in a Diamond CD ,one I just purchased at Walmart for 7.00, I figured they will be double at the show.
The CD sounds is horrible, copies from his 1976 performances....you get what you pay for.
We exchanged stories of her childhood and then mine, when I reach my grandfather's bio we see signs for downtown
Atlanta. Hot-tlanta, they call it here.
I had never paid attention to the South let alone Atlanta while I lived in the Santa Cruz Mountains, I was in heaven there and nothing else interested me much.
Then we decided (read Bob) to move to Southern Spain and we flew from NY to Malaga, next to Rhonda was a Southern
"Gentleman" a lawyer who seemed to be able and hold his many drinks on this 9 hour flight. I do not mean Coca Cola either (the Atlanta drink). He invited us to his hotelthe next day to have a luncheon and a party ride to Marbella.
Obviously he had the green dollars and was adored by the tourist employees. During that lunch I learned about
Atlanta, his version in April 1970.
"We have a gorgeous golf course, probably the best in America. We will one day have the largest airport because Atlanta is going to be BIG so along the route to the airport are all these nigga's shacks and they have to be thrown out. We do not want visitors to see that horrible mess."
I had not lived in the South. Lived in New Jersey and liberal California. I could not understand the venom in this man's heart.
He was Mister generosity, took the girls to the best jeweler and bought them 18 ct bracelets with charms of Spain.
For 5 years we stayed in contact with him but he started to age rapidly and acting weird at times and the friendship faded....But I never forget that introduction to Atlanta. I could excuse him a tiny bit he had grown up in a plantation.
This Atlanta now is booming, Hilliard was right about that. From every angle that you come into the city the 5 and 6 lanes are bordered by bill boards, no shacks. Turner had a lot to do with the growing of Atlanta and the sports...lord this is football and baseball country. Also a city for the young, I have gay friends here but they have their own society, this is not San Francisco YET. I went into a sport store trying to find something for Bobby like a Tshirt for hockey. They looked at me like they heard it thunder in Berlin. Say what? hock-ey? No , Mam, nothing like that here. Give him a Braves shirt...No thank you he does not know about the Braves like you do not know about Hockey and the Stanley Cup!!!!!!( I utter bad words like idiots...)
Since I am deaf I am told that I growl rather in loud tones...who cares I will never come to this store again.
Rhonda is not sure of my directions but I bring her right to the exit for the Merchandise Mart and at the end turn right and you have to be blind not to see CNN and nestled into the CNN complex is our hotel the Omni and the Phillips Arena where Diamond no doubt is checking it all out right now.
Every hotel now has Valet parking which costs you 30 bucks for one night, lord we used to have motels along the California Mission trail for 30.00. I was lucky I reserve with Expedia and get some points for later trips and found a room on sale at the Omni for 135.00 which at the end means 158.00 plus Mr. Valet. I am thrilled. Rhonda has been here before at a Medical convention when she was married to Dr.Jim and the pharmaceutical crooked giants paid for everything.
501 is our room. We enter and Rhonda ALWAYS has to have a fabulous view. Well, fabulous it is if you bend your head around a bit and you see the towers but right under you, you see metal roofs of other CNN parts.
I knew she would not like it. I do not give 5 cents for a view but love a good mattress and a nice clean bathroom.
I am already figuring that the bottled water I brought is not going to stay cold as they do no0t have a refrigerator
and no microwave, they do have a hair dryer, nice soap ,iron and ironing board and a safe.
Rhonda goes in and out and figures there is a smell she does not like (read roofs) she calls the desk and tells them she can't handle the smell in the room. They say:"Meet us at 801", we will exchange for you.
801 has the same furniture and all BUT had the most fantastic view of Atlanta that you could ever ask for.
The whole wall is a window giving out to Olympic park, fountains with kids playing in the hot Atlanta sun, lovers on blankets with snacks and beer. Rhonda is smiling from ear to ear, no doubt we are in an upgrade for the 135.00
I probably have returned an item to the store, probably 2 times in my life and that is since I have grown small little balls and no longer being called "the friendly door mat". I am "hard" now. (if you say so) I have been known to be afraid to return a small size dress when I take an extra large because the girl at the counter mixed them up. So the small then went to the goodwill for a tiny person.
We have to eat but I look at the menus in the Omni hotels and my budget is not going to cut this, I am already $500 in the red
with my tickets and hotel ,Rhonda is not afraid to ask the maitre D if there are other restaurants. He smiles ,he has seen cheap skates before, he is not obnoxious , thank the lord, he says take the elevator to the ground floor there is a food court with 25 fast food places....thank you sir. I am beaming. Fast food it is, so she picks her fave and I pick mine and we sit in this
round noise look up at the newsroom, see tourists of every nation in the world and I think about Hilliard. I am wondering if he would like to see the black, white, yellow, skins and find this to be OK for his Atlanta. He just may turn around in his grave but then he told me also that he adored his nanny, she brought him up and she was not white.
The clock ticks and we have to get dressed, I now know what concerts are like, it is jeans and later we saw mote women in shorts rather than jeans. Neil did ask the audience :"Do you have your jeans on?" the audience yells :YES and he starts the drumming of his guitar and sings about the " forever in blue jeans" we get up and wiggle the hips in our seat space.
The place was packed and to my surprise few grey haired ladies, a lot of men too. A LOT of young girls in their twenties and they know all the words to the songs....you did good Neil Diamond, you wrote the Monkeys their first hit and you got then paid for the first time in your song writer career.
Neil does not have the best pipes in the world, Neil tells a story, you understand every word, you start to feel the story, you know you have been there when he utters a phrase of someone leaving you, he sings from the heart. He sings like he never sang this before, it is warm ,it is fuzzy, he is a soft man, he touches me.
He is on stage for 3 1/2 hours, no intro by other singers. He has a very large band, they have been with him for 30 years. The back ups are 3 girls and one of them does the solo he did with Streisand, "you don't bring me flowers anymore". It was touching.
She had pipes. I wait and wait and I know I am going to be mad if he does not sing my song.
Rhonda knows, she looks at me and smiles, she has been crying too with some of his songs, my cheeks are wet.
A photo of a young person flashes on the screen...I know it is coming...it is his grandmother on the boat on her way to America....I get chills as I write this....honest , I do...it is my song, it is my life...
Site hosted by Angelfire.com: Build your free website today!
America
Far
We've been traveling far
Without a home
But not without a star
Free
Only want to be free
We huddle close
Hang on to a dream
On the boats and on the planes
They're coming to America
Never looking back again
They're coming to America
Home, don't it seem so far away
Oh, we're traveling light today
In the eye of the storm
In the eye of the storm
Home, to a new and a shiny place
Make our bed, and we'll say our grace
Freedom's light burning warm
Freedom's light burning warm
Everywhere around the world
They're coming to America
Every time that flag's unfurled
They're coming to America
Got a dream to take them there
They're coming to America
Got a dream they've come to share
They're coming to America
They're coming to America
They're coming to America
They're coming to America
They're coming to America
Today, today, today, today, today
My country 'tis of thee
Today
Sweet land of liberty
Today
Of thee I sing
Today
Of thee I sing
Today
Are you not sorry you asked about my trip?
Rhonda behaved, the car was a dream cost me $38.00 for 425 miles
I am so glad I went.
In Hockey the LA Kings COULD HAVE won on Wednesday evening and I never missed
the last game for the cups ceremony.
Bobby was not happy that I was not going to be with him.
After the show I asked Rhonda to sit in the sports bar and see if I could see the ceremony
we found a table I had an exotic drink with Grand Marnier in it sipped it twice and
was tipsy, I was relieved, Zack OK, Rhonda OK, car OK, I sang (off key) the words to
my song with the man who wrote it for his grandmother. I was deliriously content and
getting drunk. On the screen nothing but basketball, Rhonda said to the waiter we want hockey,
he knew what that was and turned it to the end of the game.
The LA Kings obliged and did not win, the NJ Devils won so for the cup it stands at 3-1
the one who wins 4
games gets the cup. Kings were Gretzky's home, they need this so they
lost the game so I could sit tomorrow and watch the whole thing. How very
accomodating for them to do that.
Rhonda did not have to carry me in the elevator..I was still crying from emotions of a BIG day.
we came into the room and saw dark Atlanta looking like a Christmas display of a very large city.....
I will send photos...
love you
Jeannot
PS I did not reread this I am too tired still to work on full cylinders.
My grandson ,Zacl, had a secret, he did not tell his parents that on his upper thigh he had something growing.
It was the size of a baseball. When we found out, I freaked out. I am known for inventing worries.
This was a real one. The surgeon said he had no idea what this was. He did not reassure , my daughter Brie had a stiff upper lip when she talked to me. I know her better. She was devastated and frightened thinking that none of the drs had told her that "it would be ok".
Zack was scheduled for in hospital surgery.
It was for June 6th.
I had a date on June 6th. Something I had waited for ...maybe forever...thinking I would never see a concert with Neil Diamond.
He was getting up there in age and possibly out of favors with the young.
I just could not see going when my giant baby (he is 6 feet 6") would undergo surgery.
His mother insisted that there was nothing I could do.
"Go, away, Mom and enjoy". She said. How could I do that? Is she nuts?
We would know early enough in the morning and then we could decide on the last minute.
=========
A friend emailed me this morning, the 8th, and asked to give me all the details of my trip.
She got more words than she needed and here they are again:
g........................
TO: 1 recipient
Show Details
Hi Friend,
Wednesday: waiting and waiting to hear from hospital, I was not yet sure I would go to Atlanta even if there was nothing I could do.
Rhonda was late...good so.
Then Brie called and I heard in her voice the tears and the relief.
All was well. Then a couple of hours later Zack called from the car:"Meme, I am sleepy but I am just fine"
I am on my way home and bed.
OK Zack I love you Bye Bye.
I cry from relief and joy. This is my baby too. Nobody better forget that.
We are sort of tied to a second umbilical cord. We always have.
Then waiting anxiously for Rhonda.
Bobby anxious about his car which he loans us.
The car has not seen a highway and speed in 4 years, she needs a good 70 mi;les an hour blow out.
I am on pins and needles for our trip...love Diamond...love to see the show BUT...
Rhonda can get upset over the smallest short sentence you just let out of your mouth and it
becomes a tsunami, destroying the last 50 years of her life.
I very seldom crave alcohol but right now I would like a stiff drink and relax my tangled nerves.
I know my way by heart, we have been to Atlanta hundreds of time to the Merchandise Mart and to
work in Antique shows. All is downtown. Nice town, dangerous at night.
She wanted me to Google the trip , Bobby does not want a GSP in his car, so I better stay awake
and tell her where to go.
En route we have a Cracker Barrell Luncheon and all goes well.
The car is smooth and very comfortable much better then my Tercel, the gas needle does not move from the "F".
So now I make up something new tp worry about :"Maybe the gas gadget is no longer working so we better tank up soon"
I look at the miles and we only have done 50 miles so far....maybe..just maybe...tells me my
brain....maybe you still have a pretty full tank...RELAX, OLD BIRD, RELAX.
Rhonda puts in a Diamond CD ,one I just purchased at Walmart for 7.00, I figured they will be double at the show.
The CD sounds is horrible, copies from his 1976 performances....you get what you pay for.
We exchanged stories of her childhood and then mine, when I reach my grandfather's bio we see signs for downtown
Atlanta. Hot-tlanta, they call it here.
I had never paid attention to the South let alone Atlanta while I lived in the Santa Cruz Mountains, I was in heaven there and nothing else interested me much.
Then we decided (read Bob) to move to Southern Spain and we flew from NY to Malaga, next to Rhonda was a Southern
"Gentleman" a lawyer who seemed to be able and hold his many drinks on this 9 hour flight. I do not mean Coca Cola either (the Atlanta drink). He invited us to his hotelthe next day to have a luncheon and a party ride to Marbella.
Obviously he had the green dollars and was adored by the tourist employees. During that lunch I learned about
Atlanta, his version in April 1970.
"We have a gorgeous golf course, probably the best in America. We will one day have the largest airport because Atlanta is going to be BIG so along the route to the airport are all these nigga's shacks and they have to be thrown out. We do not want visitors to see that horrible mess."
I had not lived in the South. Lived in New Jersey and liberal California. I could not understand the venom in this man's heart.
He was Mister generosity, took the girls to the best jeweler and bought them 18 ct bracelets with charms of Spain.
For 5 years we stayed in contact with him but he started to age rapidly and acting weird at times and the friendship faded....But I never forget that introduction to Atlanta. I could excuse him a tiny bit he had grown up in a plantation.
This Atlanta now is booming, Hilliard was right about that. From every angle that you come into the city the 5 and 6 lanes are bordered by bill boards, no shacks. Turner had a lot to do with the growing of Atlanta and the sports...lord this is football and baseball country. Also a city for the young, I have gay friends here but they have their own society, this is not San Francisco YET. I went into a sport store trying to find something for Bobby like a Tshirt for hockey. They looked at me like they heard it thunder in Berlin. Say what? hock-ey? No , Mam, nothing like that here. Give him a Braves shirt...No thank you he does not know about the Braves like you do not know about Hockey and the Stanley Cup!!!!!!( I utter bad words like idiots...)
Since I am deaf I am told that I growl rather in loud tones...who cares I will never come to this store again.
Rhonda is not sure of my directions but I bring her right to the exit for the Merchandise Mart and at the end turn right and you have to be blind not to see CNN and nestled into the CNN complex is our hotel the Omni and the Phillips Arena where Diamond no doubt is checking it all out right now.
Every hotel now has Valet parking which costs you 30 bucks for one night, lord we used to have motels along the California Mission trail for 30.00. I was lucky I reserve with Expedia and get some points for later trips and found a room on sale at the Omni for 135.00 which at the end means 158.00 plus Mr. Valet. I am thrilled. Rhonda has been here before at a Medical convention when she was married to Dr.Jim and the pharmaceutical crooked giants paid for everything.
501 is our room. We enter and Rhonda ALWAYS has to have a fabulous view. Well, fabulous it is if you bend your head around a bit and you see the towers but right under you, you see metal roofs of other CNN parts.
I knew she would not like it. I do not give 5 cents for a view but love a good mattress and a nice clean bathroom.
I am already figuring that the bottled water I brought is not going to stay cold as they do no0t have a refrigerator
and no microwave, they do have a hair dryer, nice soap ,iron and ironing board and a safe.
Rhonda goes in and out and figures there is a smell she does not like (read roofs) she calls the desk and tells them she can't handle the smell in the room. They say:"Meet us at 801", we will exchange for you.
801 has the same furniture and all BUT had the most fantastic view of Atlanta that you could ever ask for.
The whole wall is a window giving out to Olympic park, fountains with kids playing in the hot Atlanta sun, lovers on blankets with snacks and beer. Rhonda is smiling from ear to ear, no doubt we are in an upgrade for the 135.00
I probably have returned an item to the store, probably 2 times in my life and that is since I have grown small little balls and no longer being called "the friendly door mat". I am "hard" now. (if you say so) I have been known to be afraid to return a small size dress when I take an extra large because the girl at the counter mixed them up. So the small then went to the goodwill for a tiny person.
We have to eat but I look at the menus in the Omni hotels and my budget is not going to cut this, I am already $500 in the red
with my tickets and hotel ,Rhonda is not afraid to ask the maitre D if there are other restaurants. He smiles ,he has seen cheap skates before, he is not obnoxious , thank the lord, he says take the elevator to the ground floor there is a food court with 25 fast food places....thank you sir. I am beaming. Fast food it is, so she picks her fave and I pick mine and we sit in this
round noise look up at the newsroom, see tourists of every nation in the world and I think about Hilliard. I am wondering if he would like to see the black, white, yellow, skins and find this to be OK for his Atlanta. He just may turn around in his grave but then he told me also that he adored his nanny, she brought him up and she was not white.
The clock ticks and we have to get dressed, I now know what concerts are like, it is jeans and later we saw mote women in shorts rather than jeans. Neil did ask the audience :"Do you have your jeans on?" the audience yells :YES and he starts the drumming of his guitar and sings about the " forever in blue jeans" we get up and wiggle the hips in our seat space.
The place was packed and to my surprise few grey haired ladies, a lot of men too. A LOT of young girls in their twenties and they know all the words to the songs....you did good Neil Diamond, you wrote the Monkeys their first hit and you got then paid for the first time in your song writer career.
Neil does not have the best pipes in the world, Neil tells a story, you understand every word, you start to feel the story, you know you have been there when he utters a phrase of someone leaving you, he sings from the heart. He sings like he never sang this before, it is warm ,it is fuzzy, he is a soft man, he touches me.
He is on stage for 3 1/2 hours, no intro by other singers. He has a very large band, they have been with him for 30 years. The back ups are 3 girls and one of them does the solo he did with Streisand, "you don't bring me flowers anymore". It was touching.
She had pipes. I wait and wait and I know I am going to be mad if he does not sing my song.
Rhonda knows, she looks at me and smiles, she has been crying too with some of his songs, my cheeks are wet.
A photo of a young person flashes on the screen...I know it is coming...it is his grandmother on the boat on her way to America....I get chills as I write this....honest , I do...it is my song, it is my life...
Site hosted by Angelfire.com: Build your free website today!
America
Far
We've been traveling far
Without a home
But not without a star
Free
Only want to be free
We huddle close
Hang on to a dream
On the boats and on the planes
They're coming to America
Never looking back again
They're coming to America
Home, don't it seem so far away
Oh, we're traveling light today
In the eye of the storm
In the eye of the storm
Home, to a new and a shiny place
Make our bed, and we'll say our grace
Freedom's light burning warm
Freedom's light burning warm
Everywhere around the world
They're coming to America
Every time that flag's unfurled
They're coming to America
Got a dream to take them there
They're coming to America
Got a dream they've come to share
They're coming to America
They're coming to America
They're coming to America
They're coming to America
They're coming to America
Today, today, today, today, today
My country 'tis of thee
Today
Sweet land of liberty
Today
Of thee I sing
Today
Of thee I sing
Today
Are you not sorry you asked about my trip?
Rhonda behaved, the car was a dream cost me $38.00 for 425 miles
I am so glad I went.
In Hockey the LA Kings COULD HAVE won on Wednesday evening and I never missed
the last game for the cups ceremony.
Bobby was not happy that I was not going to be with him.
After the show I asked Rhonda to sit in the sports bar and see if I could see the ceremony
we found a table I had an exotic drink with Grand Marnier in it sipped it twice and
was tipsy, I was relieved, Zack OK, Rhonda OK, car OK, I sang (off key) the words to
my song with the man who wrote it for his grandmother. I was deliriously content and
getting drunk. On the screen nothing but basketball, Rhonda said to the waiter we want hockey,
he knew what that was and turned it to the end of the game.
The LA Kings obliged and did not win, the NJ Devils won so for the cup it stands at 3-1
the one who wins 4
games gets the cup. Kings were Gretzky's home, they need this so they
lost the game so I could sit tomorrow and watch the whole thing. How very
accomodating for them to do that.
Rhonda did not have to carry me in the elevator..I was still crying from emotions of a BIG day.
we came into the room and saw dark Atlanta looking like a Christmas display of a very large city.....
I will send photos...
love you
Jeannot
PS I did not reread this I am too tired still to work on full cylinders.
June 8 2012
It is his birthday today, he would have been 86, even so I have to celebrate that for 84 years he had a good life.
He was ill a very few times in his life, did not have surgeries, did not have arthritis or old people's woes.
Alzheimer disease robbed him of the golden years.
He was and is still my best friend.
He was ill a very few times in his life, did not have surgeries, did not have arthritis or old people's woes.
Alzheimer disease robbed him of the golden years.
He was and is still my best friend.
Sunday, June 3, 2012
Time for Kings and I do not mean Queen Elizabeth
Son comes into the living room and stretches out on the couch, there hardly is any room left for Courage, his devoted dog,Bob is ready for action. He is dressed in a large pull over with all the official required embroidery.
L A Kings and crowns.
I sit in my recliner and borrowed a large hat with King's logo. I look ridiculous.
This is serious business.
I do not watch sports that often, soccer my fave does not have that many contests I am interested in like the World Cup. Hockey has become my passion since Bob introduced me to it. The Kings have been his faves since Gretzky.
Every year we sit down for the finals till the cup is passed on from hand to hand and the managers of the winning team see $$$ signs.
This year is special, the Kings are in the finals.
In fact as I write if they win 2 more games they can drink from the Stanley Cup and look at their name engraved in it for
eternity.
This year I am finding out that I am not a good sport fan.
I want us to win and I get antsy.
By the 3rd round I am a mess.
I am sure my BP is way up there.
I yell like they are going to hear me? Let alone listen to an old lady.
Bob is silent until there is a goal it is either YEAH or F... depending on who scored.
Last night I could not take it when it was still 1-1 so I went to bed afraid of
getting too excited. I just knew we would go on overtime.
Reading my Kindle I started to relax and way later Bob walked in with both arms in the air.
Yeah Yeah King 2- Devils 1 , we are on our way Mom!
and so we are......to be continued.........
L A Kings and crowns.
I sit in my recliner and borrowed a large hat with King's logo. I look ridiculous.
This is serious business.
I do not watch sports that often, soccer my fave does not have that many contests I am interested in like the World Cup. Hockey has become my passion since Bob introduced me to it. The Kings have been his faves since Gretzky.
Every year we sit down for the finals till the cup is passed on from hand to hand and the managers of the winning team see $$$ signs.
This year is special, the Kings are in the finals.
In fact as I write if they win 2 more games they can drink from the Stanley Cup and look at their name engraved in it for
eternity.
This year I am finding out that I am not a good sport fan.
I want us to win and I get antsy.
By the 3rd round I am a mess.
I am sure my BP is way up there.
I yell like they are going to hear me? Let alone listen to an old lady.
Bob is silent until there is a goal it is either YEAH or F... depending on who scored.
Last night I could not take it when it was still 1-1 so I went to bed afraid of
getting too excited. I just knew we would go on overtime.
Reading my Kindle I started to relax and way later Bob walked in with both arms in the air.
Yeah Yeah King 2- Devils 1 , we are on our way Mom!
and so we are......to be continued.........
Monday, May 28, 2012
just keep dreaming.....
First time since he passed away I was dreaming about Bob looking like he was 30 something.
I met him when he was 42.
All my dreams so far had been about him being ill with Alzheimer and I would explain to the people (in my dreams) that he was sick and not to pay closely attention as he could get things so messed up. In my dream then he would turn to me and say;"I am not sick I am telling you, there is no disease!"
That part he did tell us for years as he was a devouted Christian Scientist and he never thought he was ill.
So this time in the dream he shows up very young, gorgeous, his curly hair even more curly and he starts to sing to me
a song we both knew as I sang with him (read tried to sing) I kept thinking I must remember what song that is.
I did not when morning came.
He sounded like Sinatra and the chap from New Orleans..whatever his name.
I was shocked, when he was finished "I said, you never told me you could sing like that" (he could n't sing a note just like me)
I wanted more songs and he sort of vanished in thin air.....
I did not think that was very polite....but then Bijou started to scratch on my back and I woke up.....
I so wanted to hear the song again......I so wanted to see him healthy again and that I did see.
My mother had trombosis and for years she had to wear these tight stockings, she hated them, she said they were for old ladies.
She did not like to think she was getting older.....BUT one night after her passing she came in my dream and she sat on the side of a bed dangling her legs like a little girl. She said:"You see my legs are fine, I no longer need to wear the stockings".
That morning when I woke up I cried, I truly think she came with a message.
BUT then in the younger years I believed a LOT....I can't any more.
It's a lot more fun if you can...
Sunday, May 27, 2012
When my frugal mother had the blues she was a danger to herself, it did not happen often but when it did she went shopping.
Not for a hat or shoes or a purse like I do but for a new sewing machine, a new living room set or something equally
BIG.
I'd always laugh when she'd write or tell me what her latest adventure was.
She was always filled with guild that she had spent the money.
She had enough to live on for quite awhile and still get a depression retail therapy trip.
Guilt was always there.
I do the same in smaller dosis .....had a hard week of the blues....just feeling constantly sad in spite of my lexapro so I decided I would walk to the Garden Jubilee on Main street, I'd walk and leave when Bob would take his nap so he would not
stop me. Somehow he and Sabrina got wind of my idea or know me too well. Brie showed up before lunch and we walked arm in arm all the way from first booth to last.
I always feel sorry for crafters who sit with that look on their face like " buy something already".
Been there done that and wore out many a Tshirt with that saying.
Old Bob and I would always buy something from an artist/crafter. It was routine with us.
Depending on what was in our purse at the time we would find something we both liked.
The only item which I truly LOVED was a birdbath made from antique objects.
This large one (why could I not like a very small one?) had the center made from a candy dish, pressed
aMERICAN glass and in the center of that a cut glass salt, all is mounted on a very large dish which is probably new. It was pricey. I looked and looked, started to drool. Sabrina was already telling me which one I should get, no help there.
Took me a good 30 minutes but we walked away with a gorgeous one.
Now if that was not bad enough we went to sTEINMART.
I had not been there in probably a year.
I still owed my manager a Christmas card after she had written me such a long lovely note.
Felt guilty about that, I did.
She met us at the door with open arms, the crew was friendly and asked a million questions.
Told them about Bobby and tears came to one lady's eyes.
After all this adoration (how I miss that place, wish I could work there again)
I took a look around, had not shopped for clothing since I retired here expect bargains at the Hospice store.I ended up with 4 skirts and 2 tops. The Bohemian long skirts are back in style and you know how often I wear them.Everything was on sale from 30 to 50 % off. I had good bargains. So this morning there is the guilt....oh Mother you taught me well.
Not for a hat or shoes or a purse like I do but for a new sewing machine, a new living room set or something equally
BIG.
I'd always laugh when she'd write or tell me what her latest adventure was.
She was always filled with guild that she had spent the money.
She had enough to live on for quite awhile and still get a depression retail therapy trip.
Guilt was always there.
I do the same in smaller dosis .....had a hard week of the blues....just feeling constantly sad in spite of my lexapro so I decided I would walk to the Garden Jubilee on Main street, I'd walk and leave when Bob would take his nap so he would not
stop me. Somehow he and Sabrina got wind of my idea or know me too well. Brie showed up before lunch and we walked arm in arm all the way from first booth to last.
I always feel sorry for crafters who sit with that look on their face like " buy something already".
Been there done that and wore out many a Tshirt with that saying.
Old Bob and I would always buy something from an artist/crafter. It was routine with us.
Depending on what was in our purse at the time we would find something we both liked.
The only item which I truly LOVED was a birdbath made from antique objects.
This large one (why could I not like a very small one?) had the center made from a candy dish, pressed
aMERICAN glass and in the center of that a cut glass salt, all is mounted on a very large dish which is probably new. It was pricey. I looked and looked, started to drool. Sabrina was already telling me which one I should get, no help there.
Took me a good 30 minutes but we walked away with a gorgeous one.
Now if that was not bad enough we went to sTEINMART.
I had not been there in probably a year.
I still owed my manager a Christmas card after she had written me such a long lovely note.
Felt guilty about that, I did.
She met us at the door with open arms, the crew was friendly and asked a million questions.
Told them about Bobby and tears came to one lady's eyes.
After all this adoration (how I miss that place, wish I could work there again)
I took a look around, had not shopped for clothing since I retired here expect bargains at the Hospice store.I ended up with 4 skirts and 2 tops. The Bohemian long skirts are back in style and you know how often I wear them.Everything was on sale from 30 to 50 % off. I had good bargains. So this morning there is the guilt....oh Mother you taught me well.
Friday, May 25, 2012
Parental love part 2
We see on the news how a mother leaves a kid in a hot car while she goes into the bar, we shake our heads, how can that be?
We hear all the worst case scenarios. We shudder.
Where are our parent heroes?
I know some but they do not make the news, they are the quiet angels who love.Love kids and protect them.Period.
A couple I know adopted a baby who had been mistreated soon after birth. He had problems, medical problems.
The mental problem he suffers will not go away with a pill nor the best of psychiatrist. It is for life.
He has violent moments. He has a heart of gold. He has to be watched 24/7. He will be a teen ager soon.
He is getting stronger, taller, and at times a hand full.
The couple have dedicated every minute of their day to watch this child.
The choice was theirs to adopt or to leave the child to the system, they took him in as a small baby.
I look at this couple and I know there is just nothing there but enormous love, you never hear a whisper of
inconveniences or hardship. It takes angels to do this kind of work with children.
I am very happy I did get to know them.
Parental love
more than 30 years ago a little boy on way to the school bus just vanished.
Vanished on the streets of New York, a nice place at that time to live and bring up children.
(I do forget the name of the street).
The little boy was never found, the police had not a clue.
After all these decades someone came forward to say they knew who did it,
investigations are still on going.
Parents interviewed on the news were asked how come they were still in the same apartment.
The father answered: We were hoping that he was still alive and he would not know how to find us so we stayed put!
Staying in the same place for decades waiting for the door bell to ring.
How hard these years must have been.
I am hoping there is going to be a closure for them soon.
Vanished on the streets of New York, a nice place at that time to live and bring up children.
(I do forget the name of the street).
The little boy was never found, the police had not a clue.
After all these decades someone came forward to say they knew who did it,
investigations are still on going.
Parents interviewed on the news were asked how come they were still in the same apartment.
The father answered: We were hoping that he was still alive and he would not know how to find us so we stayed put!
Staying in the same place for decades waiting for the door bell to ring.
How hard these years must have been.
I am hoping there is going to be a closure for them soon.
Friday, May 18, 2012
The week has not been my best so far.
The trip for the colonoscopy was not pleasant.
The meds to take before taste horrible (read constant nausea)
I did not have enough stuff for the usual nice soft sleep.
Saw the TV set up next to me and the ugly intestins.
Saw the polips and the tool he used to remove and I yelled out.
If I yelled out loud I do not know for sure but it was a pain or two.
Then I heard him say I am finishing this and so it was.
Brie heard him say they had to use more medication but a nurse friend tells
me that since I had major surgery a year ago they have to be
very cautious at my age how much they will put me under.
Two days later still cramps so I was not in the best of moods.
I do not know many people but I know 3 who had bad reactions, Willy in B
was bleeding and ended up in ICU.
Jeanette had a perforation and so did Rand's mom.
Both were for awhile in hospital and very ill.
Definitely a mood swing during these days.
Trying to see how the Rhonda saga with finding work will be.
Trying not to worry about my children.
In my next life I want to be an optimist.
In my next life I will be a lesbian. Men are too much trouble.
In mynext life I will not care if I am loved or hated.
In my next life I hope not to ever have to come back again.
The trip for the colonoscopy was not pleasant.
The meds to take before taste horrible (read constant nausea)
I did not have enough stuff for the usual nice soft sleep.
Saw the TV set up next to me and the ugly intestins.
Saw the polips and the tool he used to remove and I yelled out.
If I yelled out loud I do not know for sure but it was a pain or two.
Then I heard him say I am finishing this and so it was.
Brie heard him say they had to use more medication but a nurse friend tells
me that since I had major surgery a year ago they have to be
very cautious at my age how much they will put me under.
Two days later still cramps so I was not in the best of moods.
I do not know many people but I know 3 who had bad reactions, Willy in B
was bleeding and ended up in ICU.
Jeanette had a perforation and so did Rand's mom.
Both were for awhile in hospital and very ill.
Definitely a mood swing during these days.
Trying to see how the Rhonda saga with finding work will be.
Trying not to worry about my children.
In my next life I want to be an optimist.
In my next life I will be a lesbian. Men are too much trouble.
In mynext life I will not care if I am loved or hated.
In my next life I hope not to ever have to come back again.
Thursday, May 10, 2012
MAY 10 1940
Dates spark memories.........I never forget about May 10 1940.
Belgium.
I live in Langerbrugge, 7 KM from Ghent.
My grandma came to visit for awhile.
My dad had joined his Army Unit a few weeks ago.
We know the day will come.
I know nothing about war except what my Grandma tells me when her'
husband, an army professional, was taken prisoner of war in 1914.
She has tales of how poor they were and how my father at age 7 went to steal food in the German camps.
My mother talks about fleeing their house with a gas mask on and how frighten she was at that time.
I am 8 and it all sounds so bizarre.
The two women chat and chat and all I hear is war, war, war.
We have a radio, no other communication.
They sit by the radio listening and shaking their heads.
I am laying in a rattan chaise lounge next to the coal stove, it is chilly outside.
I have a sore throat and I am being watched by 2 Mama's and perhaps spoiled.
I am thinking that they have these wild stories and they are so agitated, this must be all special.
I decide I want my own war. Not "Bonma's" nor Mama's my very own so I can tell stories too when I grow up.
Foolish child...a wild imagination.
We had a practice in the house that I hated. All citizens had been given these horrible gas masks, you looked like an elephant from outer space. A long tube went from the mask to the tank. I could not breathe in it. I hated it and screamed when I was told to try it. Equally my father had told me that if they attack in any way I must lay under the mattress.
There too I could not breathe. But that morning all I could see was my two grown ups starting to weep.
Radio had announced that Belgium was at war.
Now that was a confusing picture, so I had my war but I did not like all the crying. Would I need to put on this mask?
I thought it was enough already , lets just stop the war, tell the Germans to go home. Finish with all this.
I lived about 100 yards from the electrical plant. No houses in between us and the plant. The horrible smoke billowing all the time leaving black little specks on my mothers fresh washed laundry on the line. That was just all I knew about the plant. Came 3 o clock that afternoon and I would learn lesson one. Electricity factories are targets. This one was a target till 1945.
The alarm went off at the plant, we had done drills about that, danger might be coming (they told us) if the alarm goes on.
The alarm would go off when all danger had passed so you were to listen to air warnings.
My short rotund Bonma was helped down the stairs in the cellar. We kept potatoes in a bin and coal in another. It was a dark hell hole. A chair had been placed there for Bonma. Her heavy breathing was all I heard as Mom and I sat on the stairs, Bonma did not do well with stairs. We sat in silence and waited. Bonma soon had enough of it and wanted to go back up ,she asked my mom for help going up the stairs and only one step up and we heard a whistle, a loud sound but it was not the siren from the plant and Mom pulled Bonma down the step by her skirt and held us both tightly against her. Within seconds the house trembled, we heard glass crash on the tile floor. We were the target next to the plant. The planes were very low, we could hear their motors, mother later said that she thought they would crash but none did. We had been bombed on the first day of war.
I do not know how long it was before the siren let us know the danger had past.
I ran up the stairs but was held back, the two women knew what was to come.
It was only May 10th 1940 and it would last till June 1945.
Today sitting safely in my house in America I am thinking that all this happened somewhere in a book I read.
However it is not so, I have been known to crawl under the table if a plane comes by and is low.
I have thrown my children in ditches when a siren went off at the fire department.
The plant is now a museum and how many stories it can tell us.
But today is May 10th and I stop with that for now.
I had my war and I can talk about it like Bonma and Mama.
Wednesday, May 9, 2012
want to marry your cousin? It's OK in NC!
so we lost.....61 % against 38. something
you can marry your cousin in N C but not your gay cousin............
nice bumper sticker
I feel like I lost a friend.
BUT there is also awesome news.
Young Bob came to the polls walked in , voted, and came out without even sweating.
Our voices did not count enough to win this but he won his battle to go into a building.
Also to drive up to it.
When I take it all in we won, the Kensingers won again.
There is life at the end of the tunnel.
Of course he has a lot more work to do. One day at a time but the last weeks have been fantastic.
Thanks for the effort, Bobby, to come to THAT place, the place where it all started years ago.
You are my hero!
you can marry your cousin in N C but not your gay cousin............
nice bumper sticker
I feel like I lost a friend.
BUT there is also awesome news.
Young Bob came to the polls walked in , voted, and came out without even sweating.
Our voices did not count enough to win this but he won his battle to go into a building.
Also to drive up to it.
When I take it all in we won, the Kensingers won again.
There is life at the end of the tunnel.
Of course he has a lot more work to do. One day at a time but the last weeks have been fantastic.
Thanks for the effort, Bobby, to come to THAT place, the place where it all started years ago.
You are my hero!
Tuesday, May 8, 2012
Voting day and gloomy outside
I am in a bad mood.
Sabrina will come soon, she is my sunshine so perhaps she can change it.
The voting is annoying and a must do, I am so damn negative I have no hope for this to be a NO.
Then I read all my instructions for the colonoscopy, I start with getting the meds today but by Sunday
I must start the cleaning and I am not in a good mood about that.
I do not like the "clinic" they are doing it in and now when I read the small print it said I had a choice between St Jo's hospital and them. I loved it better at the hospital. Too late ,it is all set up and I waited long enough.
I am overwhelmed somehow.
Shop was still slow in April so I may have to close the first one which only has antiques, linens and do da's.
It is now an interior design market, who wants Grandma's milk glass? Limoges china? (a no in the dishwasher), who wants to polish the sterling silver? Who wants to iron linens, so what if they are Irish or Belgian and the best quality, they do need ironing right?
The jewelry shop continues to do well so I must make some more necklace , like yesterday........
Bijou knows I am grouchy, he keeps looking at me and turns his head left and right.
I can't claim menapause that was taken away from me 40 years ago....
Maybe I can just say that I am a grouchy old lady.
Voila!!!
Sabrina will come soon, she is my sunshine so perhaps she can change it.
The voting is annoying and a must do, I am so damn negative I have no hope for this to be a NO.
Then I read all my instructions for the colonoscopy, I start with getting the meds today but by Sunday
I must start the cleaning and I am not in a good mood about that.
I do not like the "clinic" they are doing it in and now when I read the small print it said I had a choice between St Jo's hospital and them. I loved it better at the hospital. Too late ,it is all set up and I waited long enough.
I am overwhelmed somehow.
Shop was still slow in April so I may have to close the first one which only has antiques, linens and do da's.
It is now an interior design market, who wants Grandma's milk glass? Limoges china? (a no in the dishwasher), who wants to polish the sterling silver? Who wants to iron linens, so what if they are Irish or Belgian and the best quality, they do need ironing right?
The jewelry shop continues to do well so I must make some more necklace , like yesterday........
Bijou knows I am grouchy, he keeps looking at me and turns his head left and right.
I can't claim menapause that was taken away from me 40 years ago....
Maybe I can just say that I am a grouchy old lady.
Voila!!!
Monday, May 7, 2012
The right to vote
Great day and full of hope for tomorrow's vote.
There is always hope.....
The best for our gang and mostly Bobby is the fact that the last time he drove was when he took me to work at Steinmart and when he came to the shuffle board place he had a very bad attack, he was so frightened that when a cop passed by he wanted to chase the cop and attack him so the cop would shoot him out of his misery. I was sweating bullets in the car not knowing what to do with him. Neither one of us had a cel phone then. I found someone inside the shuffle board place and called Ari.
She was there very quickly. He could not drive home. He stopped driving then and there.
She had to take him one block at a time and stop to calm him, first to her mom's house a few blocks away and then home a few more blocks.
Yesterday we took a drive together, he passed the place for the first time and I could see the tension on his face.
I was worried. He continued driving onto Canuga and turned on Hebron.
Hebron holds the nursing home and I do not want to go by there but this is his recuperation.
I showed him the place and he had no idea where Bob had to go to at the end.
He kept driving further and further but his face was white from the tension.
He went back to go past the shuffleboard place. Then home.
He was spent, he took a nap.
Later he told me that come hell or high water he will vote tomorrow.
The vote is important to him as it is to me.
Chances of winning are not good so many other states have voted for this amendment.
This is a Republican state and a Republican town plus the churches have come out
in droves promoting only marriage with male and female.
It is a personal opinion voting and I do not find it very kosher, pardon the pun, that churches continue
to be on this non loving path. If there is a God then would he make a difference in his children?
I have seen politicians turn around on their statements when their own kids admitted to be gay.
(See Cheney)
So Bob has decided he will go to THAT place and vote. How he will do it I do not have a clue unless he takes the strong medicine which he no longer uses. Bob can have a temper about ignorance. I am hoping no heckling is in the line as there has been in the pre-vote lines. How he can be in line is a big ?????
He does not want to be hemmed in.
Voting is important to him so I hope he has that chance.
There is always hope.....
The best for our gang and mostly Bobby is the fact that the last time he drove was when he took me to work at Steinmart and when he came to the shuffle board place he had a very bad attack, he was so frightened that when a cop passed by he wanted to chase the cop and attack him so the cop would shoot him out of his misery. I was sweating bullets in the car not knowing what to do with him. Neither one of us had a cel phone then. I found someone inside the shuffle board place and called Ari.
She was there very quickly. He could not drive home. He stopped driving then and there.
She had to take him one block at a time and stop to calm him, first to her mom's house a few blocks away and then home a few more blocks.
Yesterday we took a drive together, he passed the place for the first time and I could see the tension on his face.
I was worried. He continued driving onto Canuga and turned on Hebron.
Hebron holds the nursing home and I do not want to go by there but this is his recuperation.
I showed him the place and he had no idea where Bob had to go to at the end.
He kept driving further and further but his face was white from the tension.
He went back to go past the shuffleboard place. Then home.
He was spent, he took a nap.
Later he told me that come hell or high water he will vote tomorrow.
The vote is important to him as it is to me.
Chances of winning are not good so many other states have voted for this amendment.
This is a Republican state and a Republican town plus the churches have come out
in droves promoting only marriage with male and female.
It is a personal opinion voting and I do not find it very kosher, pardon the pun, that churches continue
to be on this non loving path. If there is a God then would he make a difference in his children?
I have seen politicians turn around on their statements when their own kids admitted to be gay.
(See Cheney)
So Bob has decided he will go to THAT place and vote. How he will do it I do not have a clue unless he takes the strong medicine which he no longer uses. Bob can have a temper about ignorance. I am hoping no heckling is in the line as there has been in the pre-vote lines. How he can be in line is a big ?????
He does not want to be hemmed in.
Voting is important to him so I hope he has that chance.
Sunday, May 6, 2012
partial this and partial that
When you get older there are replacement parts, like superwoman, they put you together with wires.
When you are young (these days) they add to the breast, they stay perky until you are 95 but they weigh on your shoulders,they tattoo eyebrows, lips and heavens what else, need a chin? we got one for you. Seeing a few wrinkles we have shots for that too.
BUT for me it becomes a hardware store around my broken ankle, pins, screws, stainless steels rods. A kidney refuses to work, lets take it out. Your back is kaput from a fall so learn not to bend anymore. Knees refuse to bend too we can always replace with more hardware. A tooth broke after a bad repair from a young dentist so you have a choice, a small partial, a this and a that, first option is about 800 to 900 the others are all in the thousands. I am forced to go with the "cheap" one.
Got it in on Friday and had to take it out today sUNDAY. They put that partial on top of the tooth just removed which is now a hole going to China. That was a tiny bit of an ouchie! I gave myself a present, I bought flowers.
This morning I tried to pry this thing out of my mouth, looks like I cut into the corner of my mouth too, could not get it out, tried again and again. We already know I have a form of dyslexia so I do not know right from left and looking in a mirror and trying to fix hair or a partial is absolutely obscene.
Finally I decided that the one "hook" around the tooth holding up this small affair does not want to give up the wire, by now I am shaking. I am furious because I am 80 and I want to be the one like the young ones who gets boobs that will stay perky forever and for sure I need a tummy tuck, like 25 of them! Instead I am in front of this mirror trying to see how to get myself out of this mess.
I got it out by smearing the tooth with ranch dressing and then the wire slid off.
Now I am just calming myself down writing this stuff so I can get it back in and so far it is a NO GO.
See you at the dentist....
When you are young (these days) they add to the breast, they stay perky until you are 95 but they weigh on your shoulders,they tattoo eyebrows, lips and heavens what else, need a chin? we got one for you. Seeing a few wrinkles we have shots for that too.
BUT for me it becomes a hardware store around my broken ankle, pins, screws, stainless steels rods. A kidney refuses to work, lets take it out. Your back is kaput from a fall so learn not to bend anymore. Knees refuse to bend too we can always replace with more hardware. A tooth broke after a bad repair from a young dentist so you have a choice, a small partial, a this and a that, first option is about 800 to 900 the others are all in the thousands. I am forced to go with the "cheap" one.
Got it in on Friday and had to take it out today sUNDAY. They put that partial on top of the tooth just removed which is now a hole going to China. That was a tiny bit of an ouchie! I gave myself a present, I bought flowers.
This morning I tried to pry this thing out of my mouth, looks like I cut into the corner of my mouth too, could not get it out, tried again and again. We already know I have a form of dyslexia so I do not know right from left and looking in a mirror and trying to fix hair or a partial is absolutely obscene.
Finally I decided that the one "hook" around the tooth holding up this small affair does not want to give up the wire, by now I am shaking. I am furious because I am 80 and I want to be the one like the young ones who gets boobs that will stay perky forever and for sure I need a tummy tuck, like 25 of them! Instead I am in front of this mirror trying to see how to get myself out of this mess.
I got it out by smearing the tooth with ranch dressing and then the wire slid off.
Now I am just calming myself down writing this stuff so I can get it back in and so far it is a NO GO.
See you at the dentist....
Saturday, May 5, 2012
Cinco de MAYO, I have still to go and check what the Mexicans are celebrating but the restaurant was full today.
The latest news is, of course, still about son, Bob.
I never had a "Bucket list" like in the movie, we lived pretty much on impulses ,that way you do not get
into too much trouble messing with expectations.
BUT after Bob got ill I surely did not have anything left to wish for except a cure for Alzheimer and we know
where that is going.....then young Bob moved in and helped me and also lost his wife at 35 years old.
He was in bad mental health to begin with, had severe panic disorder. I had it for 7 years, I knew what it
entailed. His turned into agoraphobia. So...he had been in our house for about 4 years without leaving at all, crossing the street was major.
Took years to get mental health professionals to be able to come to the house.
That was last September.
2 times a week they come and talk and try and help.
Now with mew medication which calms him but he is not OUT of it like some others did ...he is now improving daily.
Every day he sits at our kitchen table and shows me on one of his gadgets how far he has driven.
Yesterday it was 10 miles, all around our street, but this is huge, every day he adds another street and
the two of us follow the map like 2 generals at war.
At war we are with the mind. So I thought that my only wish on my bucket list would be to see Bob healthy.
On the side I was hoping for one more trip and follow route 66 to California but that would be an adventure
which would require us to travel with 3 dogs.
I have a Maltese, he has a Corgy and a rescue dog of many papas and mamas lineage.
Neither one of us would have the guts to put them in kennels.
They are our children.
To say that I am on cloud nine is hardly enough, I am so darn happy now that we see improvement every day
from a horrible disease.
Life is good.
I miss old Bob a lot but I know he would want me to go on and try to be contend. I am trying to do that
and with the kids help it is easier.
If this prints in one sheet without paragraph I will have kittens, or I may start swearing.
It also printed the way I wrote and now it changed.
Yuk Yuck!
The latest news is, of course, still about son, Bob.
I never had a "Bucket list" like in the movie, we lived pretty much on impulses ,that way you do not get
into too much trouble messing with expectations.
BUT after Bob got ill I surely did not have anything left to wish for except a cure for Alzheimer and we know
where that is going.....then young Bob moved in and helped me and also lost his wife at 35 years old.
He was in bad mental health to begin with, had severe panic disorder. I had it for 7 years, I knew what it
entailed. His turned into agoraphobia. So...he had been in our house for about 4 years without leaving at all, crossing the street was major.
Took years to get mental health professionals to be able to come to the house.
That was last September.
2 times a week they come and talk and try and help.
Now with mew medication which calms him but he is not OUT of it like some others did ...he is now improving daily.
Every day he sits at our kitchen table and shows me on one of his gadgets how far he has driven.
Yesterday it was 10 miles, all around our street, but this is huge, every day he adds another street and
the two of us follow the map like 2 generals at war.
At war we are with the mind. So I thought that my only wish on my bucket list would be to see Bob healthy.
On the side I was hoping for one more trip and follow route 66 to California but that would be an adventure
which would require us to travel with 3 dogs.
I have a Maltese, he has a Corgy and a rescue dog of many papas and mamas lineage.
Neither one of us would have the guts to put them in kennels.
They are our children.
To say that I am on cloud nine is hardly enough, I am so darn happy now that we see improvement every day
from a horrible disease.
Life is good.
I miss old Bob a lot but I know he would want me to go on and try to be contend. I am trying to do that
and with the kids help it is easier.
If this prints in one sheet without paragraph I will have kittens, or I may start swearing.
It also printed the way I wrote and now it changed.
Yuk Yuck!
Monday, April 23, 2012
Agoraphobia
When you know someone who has agoraphobia what are your thoughts about this person and that behavior?Do you think it is a question of mind over matter? Do you think the person is too lazy to work or be involved in the outside real world?
Do you think that he/she is something of a drama queen and does this to get attention?
What is agoraphobia? No it is not about spiders. (I was told that more than once)
Panic disorder with agoraphobia is an anxiety disorder in which there are repeated attacks of intense fear and anxiety, and a fear of being in places where escape might be difficult, or where help might not be available....
My son has agoraphobia. He has been home bound for 4 years. Some people have it for longer periods or shorter ones.
No set rules.
My son tried for years to get mental health help but we all know how that works.
Reagan started this cutting down on mental health when he did not truly believe that
the psychiatric profession was so needed. (Instead he and Nancy consulted psychics)
Since then many mental health clinics have opened and closed due to lack of funding etc...
It was 6 months ago that he found a place with a psychiatric and counselors who would come to
the house and work with him.
Before that we both contacted psychiatrist who absolutely refused to come to the home.
"We will meet you at the library" was one answer.
What part of agoraphobia do you not understand?
If he could go to the library he would nOT need your help.
This team has worked with him non stop with 2 or 3 visits a week.
First you need to calm down so you do not have panic attacks on and off during the day even
in your house. You need to get over the fear that some stranger will walk into that door
and you will need to talk to them.
You need to be able to talk to a plumber, electrician who NEEDS to come in.
It is a very long period to get over the fear. Fear and dozens of phobias.
For instance a fear that if you go into that 7/11 there will be a robbery and you will get shot by the robber.
Sure we read about this every day but what is the chance that it will happen to you?
Reality is out the window when you are giving in to that kind of fear.
The good news now is that he has first of all been able to talk to the people next door, he saw me talking to the girls and he came over and joined in and started to laugh. I could not believe it. He seemed extra calm.
Slowly more visits back and forth and now he can't wait to see them and go for a talk.
After that event he fixed his cars, one inherited from his wife and one I gave him when my husband stopped driving.
So now every day he gets into the car and drives a few blocks, next day a few more and last night he
drove at night for a mile or so, came into the house shaking but he had finished another goal.
Agoraphobia does take time to be conquered. Does take a team who can help and cares for you.
Does take understanding.
Do not ever think that this is something one would invite to happen to them.
Try and understand that this is a serious mental issue.
Help the person in every way you can.
Do become enlightened and do not say like the TV man did:
"Oh, man, you are so lucky, you can just stay home and not have to go to work"
The man actually said the word "lucky!"
If you know someone with agoraphobia read a few articles on it and for heavens sake know that they are not so lazy they do not want to work.
My son is taking classes at home and has a 3.97 average out of 4.00
He will have his associates degree next May and hopes to continue after that.
He picked psychology as he does know how it feels to need mental health care.
I know he will be terrific at it.
He is caring and smart.
Oh well, I am his mother, I think he is terrific!
Saturday, April 21, 2012
Friday, April 20, 2012
Marriage.
Sunday, April 15, 2012
A FANTASTIC WEEK END
The Toyota sold to the first person who looked at it.
Going to a young girl and her first car.
That was cause for celebration.
That was yesterday.
Then Bobby took Sabrina for a ride around the block.
Not far about a mile or less. But he was out. He did not freak out.
Did not have an attack.
Today he asked me what I was cooking, I said eggs for my lunch,
he asked "do you need to eat them warm?"
"Well, I'd like to"
"Shucks (cleaned up version)
"Why?"
"I want to try and take you around the block"
"Who needs warm eggs? Lets go"
He drove one street further than yesterday.
He did it twice each time taking a different street.
He had not been in these streets in 4 years.
Had not been able to go in anyone's car, not being able to
leave the house. Period.
My cold eggs tasted divinely great!!!!
When I can stop crying for joy I may even make a cup of coffee.
Life is good.
Bobby is very good.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)