Friday, October 30, 2009


I was afraid to write in this blog as my BFF reads it.
I was invited to celebrate her 80th birthday in the Berkshires in Mass. It was to be a surprise. Our two daughters made all the arrangements and when that was done THEN they told me that I HAD to go.
If I had been asked I would have said "impossible" but daughter Sabrina arranged it all with Sabra my BFF's daughter. So here I was finding myself in cars and in airplanes and in the North.
Old Dad was with Sabrina for the long week end.

We surprised my friend in a restaurant.
She was shocked and near tears when she saw me.
She did not know that a brunch was going to be offered the next day at her son's mini mansion in the mountains.
The whole family was to be there, all kids and grandkids.
So that too turned out to be a big surprise for her as it was
still 1 week before the actual birthday date.
I was enchanted by it all. I was relaxed. Most of all I slept without waking up to check on things. I slept like a rock.
A glass of wine probably helped.
Everything was fun and food. My favorites.
Lucky I only gained one pound. So back to W W it is.

I figured out that during this visit there was another life.
People meet, people eat together, people laugh.
People have to repeat for my hard of hearing or hearing loss but they did not seem to mind.
My kids sometimes roll their eyes when they have to repeat something for the third time. I remember doing that to my mother who probably gave me this inheritance. But what the hay. I am still walking and cooking and doing whatever I can to keep it all together.
Outside this house , outside this village, outside this state, outside just plain outside with other people there is life, there will be life after Alzheimer if Bob goes first.
If I go first then what? Hey I am not coming back to tell you about it. No doubt relief from worries. Relief in either scenario. Relief.

How did the old Bob behave, the talks about it are somewhat sketchy. No one wants to say that he was difficult, no one wants to admit to much of anything. Whatever.
I slept, I talked till all hours in the night with a friend I had known for 53 years. Perhaps we will never make it again to visit together but this was just grand.

The New England villages have not changed since I travelled there 40 years ago. They are quaint, no high rises, no Mc D's, no Walmarts , lots of antique stores and lots of charming houses. Many of them kept by New Yorkers who like to visit the Berkshires on the week end.
You got to love it. You got to admire the city counsel who keep things the way they were and do not try to make it more profitable with more commerce. Farms are still farms, not builders filled bank accounts. Wish we would do this in our town but the apple orchards are filling up with houses and what a shame that is.

Loved my outing. The first in many years that I left my husband to someone else to take care off. Wow!
He did not seem any worse off. Did not know I was gone, I am sure.

Must try that again, perhaps in the spring.

Friday, October 16, 2009

Fresh sheets

I have inherited from my mother that one never has enough sheets and towels. Just in case, she would tell me, you are sick and you need extra linens.
So, I have lots of sheets. Not only that but I LOVE to sleep in fresh sheets. Loved it more when we were drying them outside many moons ago and they had that fresh outdoor smell.
When Jackie O married Onassis she had in her contract that
even if she took a mid day nap, she insisted on having her bed made up again with fresh sheets. So she had it made as far as I was concerned. Fresh sheets all the time!!!Yummy!

Now be cautious about what you ask for, you heard that before.
I now have fresh sheets on the bed every day.
Regardless of what brand diaper underwear I buy for my husband, they always leak. I have my routine after I make my coffee and send him to the daycare that I change the bedding and start a wash load.
Do I bitch and moan when I make up the queen size bed every day, you bet I do but come evening and I slide into the fresh sheets it is pure heaven.
Jackie O you had the right idea.
Would I do it just for my sole pleasure? Never! Too much work.

Sunday, October 11, 2009


If you have been following my blog then you know that I call it like it is.
No B S, no sugar coating, no embellishments , no lies.

This week was the week of horror for me.

Surprise, surprise. I have read and read book and book about Alzheimer/dementia.
I know all the different stages, I can write a book up until now stage 6 going 7.

I have the sweetest, kind husband you could find. He would put a bug outside before he would step on it. So when the “books” told me that a lot of them turn violent , I figured that this would never happen to him. How could anyone imagine that.

Last Sunday when I tried to bathe him, which is always an unpleasant task, he started to fight with me and slapped me on the side of the face , full force.
I could not hear from several hours.
I was stunned, completely stunned.
He then managed to repeat the same with our son.
This -now- very slight man barely 120 lbs had the force of a young lad.
Where did that come from?
What was I thinking? Never Never Never in my house?
Think again.

Next evening he started to push me around, hit my arms full force when I
Wanted to change his clothing.

I spent the rest of the week in enormous anger.
I could barely think straight.
I was not sure anymore if I could continue this.

Called the VA several times but his dr. (a new one again) does not call back.
I need more calming medication. Serequil (sp?) was recommended by someone
Who has help with it but on the internet there are several negatives on this.

Thursday, October 1, 2009

It is now fall and when sunny it is fabulous. Leaves are falling, trees are turning yellow and soon the maples will start being red. As we were walking and kicking the leaves I was thinking about Buscaglia, he wrote in one of his books that he invited his friends for a leaf party. Everyone thought they would be put to work to remove his piles. Instead they had a surprise, he had brought the leaves INSIDE his living room and everyone was to have fun in them. Throw them around, dance in them whatever. Just enjoy !Inever tried it but there are times that I am considering this but afraid someone would put a straight jacket on me and take me to a place I do not wish to be.

The three of us walk every evening. Old Bob, Old Mom, and young Bijou - read Maltese pup.
It is quite a scene. Not exactly a Normal Rockwell photo , Bijou is pulling, he wants to be 10 feet further than I am, old Bob is behind. So I am in the middle with both arms stretched out. One in front and one in the back.
Bob shuffles, even with my bad hearing I can hear the shuffle, shuffle, shuffle. I try and correct my walk and bring my legs and feet up high, I am not going to shuffle!!! Instead I am beginning to look like in training for the Roquettes.

When Bijou decides he is at the right spot to do his business then the shuffle comes near and there is a surprise on Bob's face " we stopped for what?" I point but somehow it does not register so now he is up front and I have to try and hold on to him until Bijou decides to finish.

Bob forgets what street to take to return home so he is adamant and stops by a driveway and points. Bijou looks at him and wonders why we would go there. A kitty there perhaps? That would be great.
I tell them both that our street is another block.
Yeah like they understand the word "block".

We get home and both my friends run for drinks.
Dad opens the fridge and see what is there and wet.
Bijou does a job on the water bowl and of course i will have to take him out before too long to get rid of the new volume of water.

The threesome will then go out again, the shuffle will start into the leaves and my arms will get a stretch work out.