Sunday, February 27, 2011

she feels just fine

what more can I wish for.
Even sold some jewelry at my new adventure.
All is well.
Spring is in the air.

Thursday, February 24, 2011

Hearing aid is just that "an aid"

So tomorrow I visit the ear doctor to have my ears cleaned and
see what the problem is of hearing less and less.....
could it be? Could it be that I am getting older?
Could it be that the psoriasis in my ears is not helping?
Viva le computer! He/she does not need me to hear just being able to see.
Without that what would I do?

Just got a juicy , gorgeous bunch of beads today.

what is in my pills?

Dr. gave me a new prescription for the thyroid.
He upped it x3.
So is it the pill which is giving me this high and
a lot of energy?
OR is Walmart pharmacy giving me some "legal" you know what
in my pills.
Whatever it is I will take it.

Sunday, February 20, 2011

sleep less because of New Yorker

So Brie gives me the New Yorker for Christmas, so what do I do now?
I crawl in bed about 11 and start reading and if it is interesting I read on and on till morning hours creep in.
Did that last night as I read about Scientology.
I had , of course, read about it here and there but this is rather in
depth and I just could not believe what I read.
This all exists?

Mind you I am very tolerant of all religions, to each his own, to each his and her freedom to believe what they want. Scientology is more a dictated way of living. and yes I would say a cult.

I hate the word "cult" as we moved to the Bible belt Bob soon found out that people said he was in a cult.
He was devastated about that.
He was born in a Christian Science household, his grandmother and mother never left that faith and neither did Bob. Only when he started into his mental state could I get medicine down him.
For years I had been trying to smuggle an aspirin in jam and sanwhich, it never worked. He was always healthy too , read the Bible and his daily lesson all the time. So I let him be and did not interfere except we had a rule that the kids would see doctors and they did.

What I read was about beatings and stripping people of their identity?
How cruel is that? Left without passports, money and away from families which incidently you have to do when your family does not join the group.

So I did not sleep well after reading it all either.
BUT like son tells me:
If you cant fix it let it be.

When I told Bob what I read he already had read it all years ago
and nothing was new to him.
Mom, I know all that , thre law suits , money etc....
nothing new.

Let me find a fun article tonight.

Saturday, February 19, 2011


Why did I name my new "business" Serendipity?
Because I am so smart with fancy words?
Are you kidding me?
I never had an English lesson, I taught myself when I came here in 1955

so here goes :

M. E. Graebner describes serendipitous value in the context of the acquisition of a business as "windfalls that were not anticipated by the buyer prior to the deal"

the word has been voted as one of the ten English words that were hardest to translate.

So why do I call my business Serendipity? None of the above apply for me. Simply that in 1969 another grey haired lady had a bead shop and taught me everything about the difference in beads. At that point I had never heard of a Murano bead, jet beads were foreign to me let alone the difference between glass and crystal. It was the age of Aquarius and beads were “in”. Her shop was “Serendipity” and I will always remember her.

Now I am 79 and needed to restart my engines, husband passed on with Alzheimer disease. Son taught me about gemstones such as Jasper, Jade, Onyx, Malachite, Lapis Lazuli and a whole lot more about unexpected beads made from fossils.
I fell in love with the natural design in all these pieces and now I am back in business

I am hoping that you will enjoy viewing my collection, I add and change this every week
So be my guest and try on a necklace, enjoy the designs and colors in nature.

By the way, my name is Jeannot

That is what I posted in my new mini shop!!!!!Serendipity

the quote may just work :""windfalls that were not anticipated by the buyer prior to the deal"

Friday, February 18, 2011

Life after Alzheimer

I kept asking myself :"Will there be a life for me after Alzheimer?"
I could not picture such a thing.
I was totally immersed into Bob's disease and consequences.
I was totally out of control and that is hard for me.
I need to be in charge and have some control.
Alzheimer robs a human being of all dignity, of happy and sad memories, of the joy to know that you used to love and are being loved, robs you of being an active part in the society.
When you are diagnosed your life has started to slip already and the good part is that you do not know it. But how long will it be before your body gives up? The brain will just keep leaving you but it is up to the other functions to fail you into death.
The caregiver is in charge of keeping your body whole and watching that you don't go and play in traffic, so to speak.
The brain of the caregiver is going full speed with suggestions:I must do this, I must watch this, I must , I must, I should, I should, the consequences are to dire so you are on alert 24/7.
I no longer knew what regular life was. So I wondered "what will it be when he is gone?" How will I cope? How will I survive financially? How can I be without him?

Yesterday I found that there was truly life after Alzheimer.
Walking in the neglected yard I was scouting the ground for signs of something
new coming to life, a daffodil or tulip Maybe? where there tulips last year? I dont know. The crab grass is still dormant so I have to wait to see what will pop up and I look at my window boxes and wonder what I will put in them this year.
I feel alive and well.
Then I remembered the feeling deep inside of me that the other years I just did not give a damn, I did not clean up the yard, did not trim back, did not blow my budget on plants like I used to do.
The yard, the house, none of it mattered anymore. I gave stuff away to strangers, and liked it when it was gone.
Frank and Sabrina came to clean up end of season, I did not care.
I said thank you and did mean it , glad it looked a bit neater but down deep I did not give a hoot.
That was pretty much the last 3 years.
Before Bob left me in September I had the ankle breaking in 3 pieces that too set me back some, so I was grounded for a good 6 months and only now do I feel it has totally healed. What a blessing.
Some people suffer with this all their lives, pain etc...
I could dance if I did not have the vertigo creeping in and fall flat on my derriere, not a pretty sight.
So yesterday in the garden, looking for life in the grass and flower bed I just knew, just knew there was life after Alzheimer and glory be I am probably going to go overboard on my plant budget again and I am going to be OK with money because this Grandma Moses is making jewelry.
Life is good and Bob I miss you but I also know you are here to watch over me.
No way if there is a chance in an after life , no way will you leave me be alone.
I got to know that and start looking for blue butterflies.

Thursday, February 17, 2011

Spring is in the air

I kid you not.
Spring is in the air in Western North Carolina.
OK OK so our worst snow storm was on March 15 1993
and we were in Europe.
Bobby was working at ITT as a night guard and the roofs
collapsed around him. He was extremely affected by that night.

BUT.............from my window while typing I see dozens of birds coming to the feeder. Even now and then a yellow finch, the red ones have been here all along.

It is supposed to be close to 70 this week.
I can start walking Bijou for long walks again but so many LARGE dogs have moved around us. One guy has 3 of them, all different breeds. He often walks them without leashes. Where is my spray??? I probably would be sued if I used it.
When I see Judge Judy people sue for the weirdest thing.
They sue for 50 bucks. Come on. They just want to be on TV.

Judge Judy quote: If it is a teen ager then he/she are lying.

"They do not keep me here because I am gorgeous , they keep me here because I am smart" (and she is, imagine having her as a mother)

She kinds out stuff that the FBI could not find.

Back to pricing, found another box labeled "For sale".
Got to go

Wednesday, February 16, 2011

A great Day

The lady at the shop called and said I have been selling something every day.
She did not remember what exactly.
I have a lot of doo dads in there ...from $5.00 and up and a basket with lavender pouches. The pouch sells for 3.00.
I so love lavender.
That way I can fill my drawers with it at wholesale prices.
I am so smart.

I am feeling much better the last 2 days and wonder if it is the thyroid.
Mills has tripled my medicine.

I welcome the change.
I was even dancing alone in my kitchen like I often used to do.
The dogs do not like it, they bite my heels, jealous beasts!

Bobby never danced so no chance that he will join in.

Old Bob could not dance at all. He had 4 feet when he tried.
Had no rythm at all in his body yet he knew every libretto to his operas except Wagner.
In his last days I sat next to him and sang from Carmen was a riot, a good thing he was out of it. I can't sing a note. Yet to me I am thinking I am
damn good so I believe they call that being tone deaf.

I am so focused on what I need to clean out and do away with I started to look in the living room and saw out of the corner of my eye a lovely blue urn, I thought for a split second :"that is pretty, do I need that?"
The next split second I was almost on my ex Catholic knees asking for forgiveness
the urn contains Ari's ashes. A good thing Bobby does not read my blogs.
But then his humor is so odd he probably would laugh.

Did not want Bob's ashes in the house. So he is flowing in the river in the lovely forest , the river runs into the French Broad River. Very appropos.
Of course I am not French. However we do not have a Flemish Broad River not anywhere I know off.

Going to bed. Enjoyed American Idol tonight.
Some good young voices.
I still have a crush on Steven Tyler but surely he had work done on his face, his cheeks are so tight ...and all that hair...he has more hair then La Lopez...did not cotton to her before either but she does seem human on the show.

Go to bed Jeannot, Bijou is begging.

Monday, February 14, 2011


It is our Anniversary. My first alone.
Wow, I am drinking a mimosa.
L and C gave me a small bottle of champagne for my new adventure and
I saved it for today.
It is 10 am and I am drinking champagne.
How weird is that?
Looked at your photo and knew that I will always love you
even if you are no longer by my side.
Nothing can separate us. Not even death.
So that is that.

The head is getting a little cloudy, you know I am such a cheap drunk.
said to myself:"what if I am drunk in the A M?"
I answered myself : "so what? crawl in bed and sleep it off"

The mimosa tastes great, an angel peeing on the tongue.

Talking about my got to know all this, I know that you do,seems to me that my mind is like this huge mountain, lets say Everest and
for the last 3 years there has been fog, the mountain is clouded all the way to the bottom, I can't see a hand in front of my face. It is all mist and grey, the sun must be somewhere up above but it is not showing itself.
The fog lasts and lasts. Where am I going? I can't see, I am getting clostrophobic, what do I do ? The fog only gets thicker.
This long, long wait for the sun to break through finally started in the last few weeks, slowly I could see my hands, the feet walking on fresh green grass, the mountain is still in a huge cloud but on lower levels the villages, the paths are opening up and there are spots of blue skyes around the mountain.
I am getting clearer in my thinking, I make decisions about my future, climb higher now? Go to the peak? There is still fog around the top but this brain is starting to renew. To remember what it was like to take charge of something. To start planning a new life, to start a new career if possible, to be a new self.
Small stuff, put on lipstick again, brush the few remaining eyelashes with old dried up mascara. Look in the mirror and not see sad eyes. Walk with a stronger step. The fog is lifting...oh joy...what did I do when I was in this fog?I could not think straight, I was afraid, I was lost. No more, I see a renewal and I have to go on. Till we meet again.
Oh Shit I am drunk, the glass is empty , you know I am a cheap drunk. Love you