Thursday, May 26, 2011

big week end ahead

Saturday we have the spring jubilee on Main street.
People bring their plants both home grown and commercial.
Artisan bring jewelry, basket, clothing, garden decorations etc..
Last row is my favorite : FOOD
Cajun, BBQ like only the sOuth knows how to make it, then there is pastry of sorts spot (being a Belgian, I am very picky) they do a nice beignet but I still go to
the funnel cake and smear my face with powdered sugar not to mention the top of my dress. If yours boobs stick out you share the food!
Now going back and forth is the trick so I was going to be quiet and not tell of
my adventure to downtown but Brie got me on it before i uttered a word and she
found a great soul to bring me and pick me up.
I am saving the rest of my month budget for the trip.

It is a long week end, Memorial week end. Beginning of Summer officially with
people bringing out the BBQ machines which are GETTING BIGGER and bigger.
You would think people are going to cater to 100 or more in their yards.

Due to budget cuts in every town (nearly broke) the fireworks will be a NO GO this year.For the 4th of July that is. Why do we need that anyway? Messes up the sky and some dumb soul always gets hurt. People go to S C to get home fireworks which are illegal in N C. Go figure!!

2 1/2 more weeks before we can have another xray and see if the back is healed,dr. Bones is very strict about all that. Yikes he told Sabrina off. Looks like this gorgeous Dr also has a bit of a temper.

My urologist is a doll and he gave me the full healthy OK to go on living with one kidney. I need to be nice to that organ and drink a lot...water..that is.
The other day at lunch I was playing grown up and had a mimosa, told myself that I did not have my orange juice that day so I deserved this treat. I ignored the price tag.
It was too much champagne for my taste and I did not even have a tiny buzzzzzz.
Thought it would help with the back pain...nah...back to pill.
It did mess up with the psoriasis as I knew it would.

Have not been able to sit on my work chair to do beading, hope to do it soon.

Oh, on Sunday the crew from Stone Crazy Gardens comes minus the main chief but the garden will be tackled. My neighbors will be pleased and unfortunately I worry about what they think even if one of them I no longer speak to.
It's not like the old days, I have been here 36 years, people come and go but in 13 years of struggle with old Bob no one ever came to my door to see if I needed something from the store.

The other day someone called , she used to have a shop near mine , she asked "How is Bob"? I said : "Dead!". She must have fallen in her chair. "But, Jeannot she said, it was not in the paper"
My reply: "That is right, I did not think that anyone was interested about his passing since no one was at my door nor the telephone for 13 years while he was still alive, albeit sick"
The conversation was short!

The friends who had been there for me knew the same day when he left us.
They did not have to read the obituaries.
Maybe I am wrong about this but I am following my heart.
In fact I was with my best friend that day.

Last night Bob was in my dream he was coming towards Sabrina and I and gave us the biggest hug. I was so glad to see him. He looked so silly. He had two large roses pinned on his chest and flowers in his hair and said"There is a party somewhere".
It was so unlike him, I just kept on laughing. It was so nice to hear his voice and he seemed to remember things.
What I did not like that AGAIN I was trying to reach for things and could not.
Could not walk properly could not move my legs but halfway, been doing that for awhile now, a repeated dream.....geez that better not be a sign that............never British friend Christ Brand said : Dreams are rubbish!

Monday, May 23, 2011

fed up with resting

I was telling my son how fed up I was with everything , especially resting.
I am not a couch potato, I need to "do" things.
Son looked at me with all the pain in his face and said:
Mom, if I could be well in 2 weeks and just sit in my room for 2 weeks
and rest. If I could do that and guarantee that I could then do what you do
I would sign up for it in a heart beat.
Son has agoraphobia has been in my house without leaving for 3 1/2 years.
I felt ashamed that I am being such a bitch about this set back.
I can still walk, I conquered the cancer, I still can think, what the heck is wrong with me?

Tuesday, May 17, 2011

is she moving out soon?

I am tired of this cranky old lady living in my house as of late.

She is no fun to be with.

That is an understatement.

On a very bad day I can muster some sympathy for her but that is only on very bad days.

She is getting old and parts of the body are complaining and so is she.

Start out with itching all over the place , oh that would be psoriasis, after 42 years you should be used to it so shut up about it.

She is lucky to walk like a normal person after she broke her ankle last March.

So she lost her husband, her best friend, she can join the widow's group the town is full of them.

Of course she had a bit of a shock at the end of March when she was told she had cancer. She never expected that, but then who does?

She lost a kidney, so what she has another to spare.

She came out clean.

Saturday, May 14, 2011

did you step on a crack and break your mother's back? fall turned out to be a problem with L2 , vertebrae that is.
I should have (should could would) gone to the ER the Sunday morning I fell.
But just 10 days out of my surgery I was kind of tired of hospitals and hoped for the best with just a "fall".
Pain became worse and worse so instead I went for an adjustment.
that did not help so I took the rest of the Vicodin they gave me for the
surgery, that did not help.
I gave in on week 3 and waltzed into my bone dr who was not very pleased with me
when we mentioned "chiropractor".
He talked to Sabrina in a different tone than usual and I did not get it all but he was pissed. Xrays were taken and gorgeous Dr.Bones walks in throws my chart on the
"bed" and says"she broke her back".
Turning to me : rest, rest, rest.
Walked out and nurse returned with Vicodin prescription but a much larger dosage then I had for the surgery.
I slept that night like a drugged baby.
As I write it will be 5 weeks since I fell.
I still have pain but stopped the meds because they made me so damn depressed and the dreams were horrible, this pill was messing with my mind.
I still can't go into the garden and start pulling weeds and stuff, it irritates me. I still have to go and rest in the recliner when the pain is a bit much.

This has been some year started March 2010 and it can stop now.
I am tired of this survival game.
Tired of needing help for small stuff.
Just plain tired.

Thursday, May 5, 2011

and so it goes

Have not been blogging much since the surgery and the fall.
Still pain mostly from the fall.
Not a happy camper as I am sort of cut off from doing much of anything.

I am trying to give me more time and learn to have patience, not one of my virtues.

I just noticed that Peter who changed his name signed on to view his grandfather paintings. Good for you Peter. OK if I still call you Pete?