Friday, August 30, 2013

Three Piles: Keep, throw away, donate

not in that order.........

I know the drill, I have seen many a TV show and Jeff Lewis brings out the worst in me, his idea OF "Throw away" is to empty the room and put it all in the dumpster.

For many days now I have been following the rule in order to empty a work shop room full of beads and "stuff". Today is my last day and I am coming to the end of a little box here and one there and I am so numb that I have no idea anymore what to do with what.

I am saving my children a lot of work because I did do a lot of donate and throw away. A lot. When I am gone they will not have to sort that junk.

Hospice in Asheville will have a lot of goodies for the Christmas season buyers. They may even be overwhelmed. Meanwhile my back feels like it is going to crack some more and my mind is a jungle of ideas propping up. Next Saturday Bob will have a BBQ outside. We have a cook ready and that is about it.
So next week I will be very very busy.
This is important, this is the first time in 5 years he even wants to see his old friends and be comfortable.
It is huge.

OK back to the last 2 boxes or I may just hide them in my bedroom till Sunday!

Tomorrow it will be apple festival in Hville. Rhonda broke 3 toes and I do not know if she will be able to walk that much. Brie will be here too. We shall see. It is near the end of the month and I don't exactly have Biltmore luncheon money either. At the Festival a 5.00 streudel will be terrific.

Tomorow the painted table and chairs will arrive. Zack the strong one will load up the Bee.
Anxiously waiting to see what the paint has done.
If it is to new looking I know what to do.
Bob's favorite thing: "Lets antique it, where is my burned umber".
If a frame needed antiquing then we got some old forks and made them very hot and made holes in the wooden frames looking like wormy chestnut! I was very good at it. Great to just burn your frustration away.

Night all.

Lets hope we do not have a war by tomorrow.

So the Brits said NO

Syria: The Brits said they are no longer "IN" for whatever force the Americans are going to do next.
I have given Obama all my admiration for a job almost well done in a very touchy time.
I love Obamacare and I trust that he is not being told by big money what to do next.
He has a very bright mind but even so I lament over the death of so many I am sure we can't put a stop to it.
What we start will have a snowball effect in the region.

I am scared.
When Grandma Kensinger was in her 80's she's giggled and tells me:
"I am so glad to be so old, I do not want to see what comes next in this country"

The future:

      The millennial generation is the generation of children born between 1982 and 2002, some 81 million children who have taken over K-12, have already entered college and the workforce.  This generation will replace the Baby-boomers as they retire.
       The millennials have different characteristics than any generation before them and in order to serve them better, K-12 education and colleges and universities are having to change the way they do business. The millennials have grown up in a society that is very different than any group before them. They have been plugged into technology since they were babies, are a safe generation, are the first generation for which Hispanics/Latinos will be the largest minority group instead of African Americans and have the most educated mothers of any generation before them.  They are the most scheduled generation ever, are true multi-taskers, expect to have 6-8 careers in their lifetime and are attracted to diverse environments.
       The millennial student has been a different animal for their teachers.  K-12 institutions, colleges, universities and now the work force are wondering how to motivate and meet the expectations of this generation.

Are the Millenials going to save us ? I have two grandsons already in the work force and look at everything in a different way. One is a type of computer science genius, makes tons of money, trying to buy a car with cash and a house with cash. The other one is a dr on way to be a psychiatrist, he and friends built a mud house and have lived in it until now during his hospital work he needs to be close . Up to now he lived with second hand clothing has a partner but they decided not to marry. She is on a bike tour to "clean green farms" to write a book about them. Later they say they will adopt a child when they are secure with work.

No one speaks of the house with the white picket fence, babies and nurseries. Their friends are many and have all different colors and attitudes and it is just fabulous to see how well the mix works.

I think that that generation will no longer know color. How they can maintain peace in every region is another matter.

Thursday, August 29, 2013

I can see clearly now the beads are gone....

Done and I am exhausted.
How I wish for the days when I could do 3 things at once and run 3 business at once.
I get tired after I am up and running for just 2 or 3 hours.
Take little naps and I wake myself up because I snore.

I should stop the bitching after all many my age are not able to do what I do.
I should count my blessings.

This week is a hot week.
Saw the farmers all but cry as the tomatoes touched by rot and bugs and dry roots and going to cost us plenty and the farmers are begging for help from the government.

We have the apple festival this week end and the crop is dismal
 Ouch looking out my window I see a large plane way too low on way to Asheville airport.
Makes me a bit nervous.

Tomorrow we pick up where we left off with a promise to go to Biltmore.

It will be hot with showers after lunch.

The news from the Pres. is scary.
Is Syria the new Iraq?
Are we not sure about who is killing these people with chemicals?
Are we going after the illusion that we can help?
I love Obama but he better be sure of what the consequences will be in the region.
It could all back fire.
Again " weapons of mass destruction" story????
Lets hope not.

Goodbye beading workshop

Mixed emotions as I am on my last day to find room for all what I have left in the beading department.
I sorted it all out so if I want to sit and do a few necklaces I can do that too on the kitchen table.
Kitchen table is my center of living.
Round and tiled and sturdy enough to hide under if a tornado comes.

I am sorry that the Ecclectic mall had to close. I was on a roll for awhile.
I did not have what it takes to start over again in a new place.
Sabrina is the main helper for such adventures and she set up for me in Brevard .
I did not want to do another project that I can't do alone.
Tired of asking for help.
I do not do that very well.
I am stubborn.
I am independent , I have been so since my divorce from husband 1.

My mother used to say that I am the spokes of the family wheel and the family needed me.
That is no longer so.
Brie is taking this over.
Brie is also on overload.
The last year has made a very big change in that gorgeous woman.

So new adventures are in my future as I am remaking my studio into a dining room again.
Not fancy like it was but utterly country chic is what they call it now if they want to sell a piece of wood all banged up. In my shop days all this would see the trash can. The Millinials want country chic or
metal. The industrial look is also in. Too cold for me.
The Millinials are taking over the market.

I have a huge long narrow work table. High. I thought it being ideal for me to sit and bead without bending much. It did not work out. The nice swivel high chairs made it even worse. After one hour of beading I found myself back at the kitchen table. The back in spasms. I am giving the table to a friend who can use it.

Today is my deadline to have the room empty.
Little beads are appearing out of nowhere.
I swear there is a bead fairy aiming at me in anger.

Saturday comes the new look.
meanwhile I have to stop writing and get to work....
10 hours to get it done...............

Sunday, August 25, 2013

Living in a house

for 37 years, add several shops plus Santa's dolls and then in moves your son with his toy collection, not playing toys but collectables and one day you figure that no one can walk into the garage without falling over something.

Enter the one with the red cape? No but close. Sabrina watches all the home improvement shows so she came and we now have walking "lanes" between the metal shelving. Most of my stuff went to the dumps as it had been here since 2001 and then Bob got sick and the garage was my last thought. So Zack and I had 4 trips with the Bee to the dump. Since I had been there with old Bob it is now very well scheduled and it was a pleasure to deal with them.. Problem is they have only certain months and 1/2 a day when they accept old paint cans.

Zack is a tower of force. He seems to be able to lift anything.
What is nicer is that he does whatever it takes to help his Meme.

One job out of the way.
Now I have to finish to empty the office/bead work shop , I am almost done and then comes the dining area again. Albeit rustic this time.

Thank you Brie and Zack and Bobby for all the work.

Friday, August 23, 2013


Grab a plate and throw it on the ground.

-OK Done.

Did it brake?


Now say "sorry" to it.


Did it go back to the way it was before?

This lesson came my way last week and it is sticking in a corner of my brain. Maybe I will remember it for awhile and not brake anything I can't mend.
But then I look at Bob's explanation:

" A simple psychological way to give the client an epiphany about the varying levels of cause and effect. Everything carries a different weight, so you should consider your actions (and the effect or fallout) before doing."

OK, Bob, I still think there is some hope after one "breaks" the plate and you can reglue it to be perfect again.

Thursday, August 22, 2013

keep the dog

My mother passed away at 83. Her routine every day was to bathe get dressed,, stockings and all and be ready for the world. The world had left her. She was difficult  Her friends in her apartment building had either died or just did not come back anymore. She had a state worker 3 times a week and that was her entertainment plus the TV. She followed tennis and anything Royal. She saved from an ample pension and became more frugal than ever before. Her knees had given out and the drs. decided that surgery would be too much for her.
What I can't figure out is how she got up  every morning and did the dress routine.
Now me at 81, I HAVE to get up. I have a Maltese with the blackest eyes sitting on my face looking to see when the eye lids will move, next his tail is wagging. Mommy is awake.......I look around and even so it is already 9 am I just want to stay in bed. If I did not have Bijou or hired a dog walker I am not sure how often I would be washed and dressed and get out of bed.
What my mother had in determination I only have in obligation to my best friend Bijou.

Saturday, August 17, 2013

Should I complain?

Should I complain? I better not. Reflecting on my life there is no reason to moan, bitch or complain.

I grew up during a bad war. I survived it. 

Separated parents? That is now a norm.

First Marriage? A disaster but I do have 2 gorgeous daughters from that marriage.

Divorce of my own ? so what? I met the love of my life and for 42 years I was his queen, we added the icing on the cake and had a son. 

Lost him and still grieving. So what? This is life.

I can still walk in spite of a complicated surgery on my ankle broken in 3 places, I do not even limp, only bad weather reminds me of the accident. Lots of people my age are in wheelchairs.
Complain? I better not.

They took a kidney. It was cancer. Now can I complain? NO, not at all you still have another kidney working like a charm, the cancer is gone, no chemo was needed. You better not have a negative word to say about this experience.

I have vertigo, its a bitch, in the end it is just the same as someone with a drinking problem , I just sway and do pirouettes and sometimes I fall. I have a nice big cushion on my derriere but I still damaged the L1 and L2 and gorgeous dr Brooke said"Your back is broken"
I said" why can I still walk if it is broken? He said:"you are very lucky not to be in a wheel chair, do not overdo it. I am still walking and my dog Bijou is very happy about that.
Many people are not that lucky after a bad fall.

I lost 80 percent of my hearing. That annoys me A LOT, I have to learn not to bitch about it.
I have to remember that I heard my babies laugh and cry, I heard divine music, I heard loving words  whispered in my ear. I lived long enough to hear the giant grandson tell me:"I love you Meme". Many people are born without hearing anything. Who am I to moan about it?

Life has been good. If I have 1 more year or ten more years I should reread this often and remind me that I should not complain. 

Sunday, August 11, 2013

People come and go in our lives for a reason.

Well, that is what I feel. There is a reason (at least for me) when we meet people and make some sort of connection.
I have oftene learned a lot from these connections.
The latest two women who made a deep inpact actually were our neighbors.
They had been there for 4 years and Bob and I "discovered" them a year or so ago.
I am very much a recluse and Bob then did not leave the yard due to his illness.

I would see the girls (to me they are girls) working in their backyard and wave and it would all stop there.
One sunny day I looked over to the yard and saw Bob talking and laughing with one of the girls.
I could not believe that he had gone that far out and even more so that he actually had a conversation.

That ws the beginning of a friendship with the "girls" . They were instrumental in bringing Bob out of this house and into their lives. He' go first thing in the morning to say hello to them.
He went inside their house, that was a big new step.
He helped in their yard.

He started to smile a lot more and even going back to his sarcastic funny jokes.
He did not seem to have attacks when he was over there.

It was a terrific year in relearning how to deal with people. Bob was ,of course, in therapy now for a couple of years but we all saw a difference in him.

I took second seat to this environment letting him be the visitor in their milieu but I started to take to them too and as they left this week for another state and a fantastic future (teaching in a University while working on 2 doctorates) I was just sad to see them go while rejoicing to what waits for them.

Bob does not have that support team anymore but I am sure he will continue to heal, he is on his way.

Thursday, August 8, 2013


My complaint for the day:
Just because a person has lost their hearing it does not mean that you sit at the same table and turn your back to that person. It does not mean in a group conversations that you just push the afflicted person aside and stand in front of them. The person has sadly enough lost their hearing they are not invisible, they are not there to be totally ignored. Do not be so rude, try and explain what you are talking about as well as possible.
Most people (not always old either) like to be still a part of a world, most of them are already shutting out too much in their social life.
It is not something you are going to "catch", it is a problem you may encounter yourself at some point in your life. Thank you for taking this in consideration next time you are with a deaf person.

Wednesday, August 7, 2013

Check little girls with tempers

I sat in the car, tired and wanting to nap, Peter in the back seat already asleep while the sisters went into Walmart to pick up a few items for me ......

As I am adjusting my seat I see a little girl walking in the parking lot, she is not exactly walking, she sort of floats with her arms swinging to and fro with full force while her pony tail is hitting one shoulder then the other. I have seen that scene before. I smiled as I remembered my Sabrina and her tantrums.
This girl was having a tantrum and no one watching except an old lady who wants to take a nap.

About 4 or 5 cars in front of me she stops at a beige truck, nice truck.It is a 4 door cabin truck and she is now hanging at the door handles, they do not give in to her. She lift up her legs and with all her weight she hangs on two budging. I started to worry that they were going to come right off the door.
I look around , people come and go but no one stops at the truck, no one seems to know she is there.I am wondering where the parents are.

She walks around the truck and out of my sight I figure she tried the doors at the other side too, she comes back in view and tries to crawl in the bed of the truck. I am getting sleepy and want to rest. She is a little brat intend on waiting there for the parents. I doze a bit but come out of that snooze thinking about that kid.
She is still there, she walked around the truck over and over again. Should I approach her? I am concerned over that, what if she was told not to speak to strangers? What if she runs away and I am hardly in a position to run after a 7 year old (my guess). Brie left the key in the car, Peter is asleep, do I make it my business?
I do not know how long I sat there hoping someone will come out of that store and think it normal for her to act this way. Or maybe not.

I want to get home, these two dames must be buying out the store, I only had 6 items on MY list.
I have me cel with me, I call Sabrina:
"Brie? Where the heck are you?"
"Hi, Mom I am at the register, be there in a few minutes"
"OK, I was just getting a bit antsy"
"I'll be there in a few"
"Brie by any chance has anyone called out about a little girl lost?"
"Yes, Mom, several times, it is an Amber alert"
"Brie I have been watching her , I see her"
"OMG she tells the cashier "Mom found her in the parking"
"Mom , do not loose her, follow her if she goes away"
"Mom, OK?"
I leave the car door open forgetting the keys are in it and my purse wide open on my seat, Peter still sleeping.
I walk towards the girl but do not try to get near.
Within 5 feet or so I say:"Your Mom is coming"
she answer, I do not understand.
She keeps looking at the store door.
She is still in a bad mood, stomps her feet a bit.
I wait and waive if someone is looking where we are....
2 security people, young woman, young man.
The woman runs to the girl, she tells her something takes her by the hand and goes to the store.
I am somewhat shocked.
First of all, what if she was told not to go with strangers????Why did they not bring the parents here to the parking?
The young man asks me what I saw and I tell him. He does not seem to care much because all he wants is a reunion and I conquer.

The girls come out and hug me "Good job Mom"
Brie: Our family is always aware of what goes on around us.

I am thinking if this had been nothing at all and a usual habit with this girl I would have been told:"Oh Mom do not be so negative"!