Friday, August 31, 2012

The giant

I have known a giant of a man for some decades.
He is the father in law of my daughter.
I believe he is 6"7".
He now is in his 70's.
He still has a head full of very curly hair.
The kind of hair that would make Tom Jones green with envy.

The man has not 9 lives but probably 39.
He has 4 children and a bunch of grandkids.
He does not give up and in his condition I would have
signed up for euthanasia.
He has diabetes. Can hardly breathe without a machine.
Still wants to smoke even with oxygen around.
He lost his leg some years ago.
The other leg should be removed but he refuses.

About twice a month now he visits the ER with breathing problems
more blood cloths. More this and that.
After they stabilize him they send him home.

My question is usually is John home or in hospital?

His younger wife and her son have been taking care of him 24/7,I know what that is but not with a huge man who can punch your lights out in a few seconds between his oxygen machine's help.
The young man now has a hernia from lifting the giant.
They are looking for a nursing home because now he is confused and has some dementia.

So Sabrina wrote about her not finding him in the hospital, he had been sorely neglected during the night and "they" had lost him....a man with one leg, no prosthesis ( the hospital will have to account for that !!!)that was two or three days ago, I lost count.

Last night late the family got a call from the doctor.
Mr. Fisher will not make it and you better come and say your goodbyes.
Sabrina calls me, she is crying, she has done this so many times but now she is exhausted from watching her son in chemo therapy.
They all go, even Zack, it sounded very urgent.
By around midnight I get an email:
We are going home, we have said goodbye and the daughter will stay with him all night if needed. She will not leave him.

This morning I am expecting the dreaded call instead it is an email from Sabrina
he came to this morning broke his breathing apparatus ate two biscuits with chicken and became quite violent so they had to subdue him with medication.
They still think that he is dying.....aren't we all? But make no mistake this is a giant and he is not giving up.

I do hope however that they do find a nice nursing home with big football player nurses because he is not a happy camper without his cigarettes.

Wednesday, August 29, 2012

Storm over Louisiana

Another storm over Louisiana and will go much into the middle of the USA, I think it will just miss us but we will get rain from it.
Lets hope for the best.

Sabrina had an adventure yesterday at Mission, do read her blog.
Her father in law had been admitted at 7 PM and was still in the ER when she tried to find him in the morning around 11 am.
Should make the news .........the man has one leg and has dementia and was left on the gurney and how much attention he got in between these hours is a ??????????
Sabrina will follow up I am sure................

Mission dropped a few points in my view.

I am very quiet in the "nunnery", son is struggling with Algebra..........shush ...shush...shush.

I better go wash the dishes very quietly and wait till he gets up to do the vacuuming.
It will be a good day if I can keep walking without falling and the vertigo just does not come back for a day.

Tuesday, August 28, 2012

Sunday, August 26, 2012

Sunday, whatever the date

Had a nice 2 days in Brevard with the kids.
Zack is full of fun and smiles. As long as he can leave us and run around with friends.
Took the girls to a super luncheon.
Outside in a pretty setting and it was a low 80 and loved it.
Food was pretty as well as good and the dessert (chocolate mousse with Grand marnier for me) was absolutely fixed by angels.

In no time we had the shop taken care off and empty.
I am delighted that I just have the one bigger one left which looked
smashing. If I say so myself.

This morning woke up with severe vertigo and my ankle spur returning to burn.Two repeating maladies which I did not invite on this sunny morning.
so I just crawled under the covers and slept till 4 30 , then Bob got me some pizza and I managed to get here without falling and I seem to see the keyboard quite well so maybe these pesky crystals in my ear are finally leaving.....

Glad I got to see Zack in full "regular" mode but my Brie is in a caregiving mode that I remember too well. One can see it in her eyes, one can hear it in her voice, she is going and going but the battery does need renewal once in awhile.
I told her to get a pedicure or whatever makes her feel like the olden days.....will she listen????????I am just her mother and do kids listen to mothers??????

back to bed

Friday, August 24, 2012

do not be negative

My son who studies psychology asked me last night not to be so negative.
Why do you cry every day, Mom? That is not normal.
Say what?
In my emotional state it is normal, I am zapped, I am a mother, I am a grandmother.
I have been crying for a long time now. There are days that I feel very good and the tears are nowhere to be found....then there are days that all I want to do is cry.
Of course I am on Lexapro 2 x 20 well what the ..............

Afterwards I realize that he is exhausted. After 9 weeks of arguments with a priest about philosophie and he passed well because he kept his mouth shut and was frustrated but now come 9 weeks of Algebra and not his strong point.

He shows me the first page and I go: what are they asking for? what does this dot mean,how do you understand the language......I left his room ........

Later he tells me he is all anxiety if he fails algebra he will end with a C at best by May when he gets his associate degree. He is fanatic about his grades. If he quits now he still owes 20000 dollars on student loans and has nothing to show for, he does not know how he will handle this...his frustration turns on mom, I am the only one in the room.
He feels I need help , counseling, I needed that 14 years ago...there was not the time nor the money....OK I could go now and considering it....
His dr has been calling almost every day....she must be worried..

she said for him to have absolute quiet around him....we do not play is like a nunnery here...oh! the dogs do bark for every person who walks by, how they can hear footsteps out there is beyond me...he yells at them and I come running with the bottle of water....I spray them but they are not always obedient...

I am lost at what to do next.

I have 2 days with Brie and Zack.....I am not allowed to cry in front of Zack I get it, I know. I will be so funny I will get an Oscar....

what the f.......I am no longer the one who held all the spokes together and was the
strongest one in the family. My mother did not understand on how I could hold everything together ....that woman is gone...zapped dry in bones and soul...
can a shrink fix me????I doubt it.

Thursday, August 23, 2012

the people in Brevard

A few months ago Rhonda and I went to Burger King to have a bite to eat.
On the counter was a jar, somewhat homemade in a hurry type of jar, a picture of a young man on the front and a slot to put in money.
I picked it up and saw this nice young lad and read that he had a brain tumor and the school started a fund for him and his family. For a fraction of a second I thought "it could be our guys".

I always try to fill these with something. One day my friend said :"you do not know who will pocket this money". My answer always has been that I give what I can from the heart, if the receiver is going to mess that up , it is not my problem. It is theirs.So I do not worry about helping in a situation like that.

A few years ago, Sabrina had just started to work at the chiropractic place when their gorgeous daughter hit a tree head on on a curved road. She was months in hospital, she was comatose for a long time and slowly came out of it. The clients at the office decided to have a fund raising for the girl and they had a BBQ and a local band or something like that have a charity performance. It was a very small town getting together for a senior in high school. It did help the parents who had enormous medical and living bills having been away from work and living in another state watching their girl.

Fastforward and yesterday 2 people who did not know from each other approached Sabrina and asked if it was OK to start such a fund raiser for Zack. Sabrina did not know how Zack was going to take this and then there is Frank with a lot of pride.
She called them and after awhile both agreed to it.
So now Sabrina's friend and boss and another girlfriend are starting something for Zack.

Sabrina said to me, Mom I thought we can handle anything but my car already has used up 1000 miles going to and fro Asheville. I eat out all the time I am there, it is beginning to add up.

There is a possibility of a band coming to town in October and they agreed to have a concert for Zack, that is all still in the making so I can't elaborate about it.

This is a very small town but every body knows every body. Zack is very popular in school. Every body likes him. The girls, of course, think he is their teddy bear but I have to remind them he is my teddy bear.

Speaking of teddy bear..he already has lost 20 lbs.
Doctor told him :eat when you can and whatever you want to eat....if you feel ill then do not try it...but drink water all day long, the more water you drink the more junk we will clean out of your body..." He does not have his appetite back, many things taste differently metal like.
He has become an adult in the last 4 weeks, he now knows more about his body and is learning how to take care of himself.
Jars of hand cleaners are at all entry doors in their house and everyone is
looking out for him too.

Shop one closes

This is to be the quiet week so Zack does not have to go in until Friday.(tomorrow)
He and Brie want me to go with them and see the clinic and cancer center.
They want me to be included a little bit in all the drama I heard about by email or phone. I am delighted to go with them.

I will stay overnight as the next morning is the big clean up of shop numero uno.
I started that shop Feb 1 2011 , the idea was to just get rid of more of my shopstock stashed away in boxes every where around me. Then a new idea crept into my busy head and I started to design jewelry. I buy beads and put them together, that simple.

I had no idea over a year ago I was going to go in another direction, the antiques are not that popular as when I started in the 1960's . Young people want to put it all in the dishwasher and polishing silver is truly not in their time schedule. Maids are long out of the pictures in most households too.

When I started here in NC in 1976 I still had regulars who collected pressed glass, diamond cut crystal glass, complete sets of Limoges, sets of sterling flat ware.
I shipped more complete sets of China to Texas and Alabama. Alabama also was the mecca for nice old pieces of Sheffield, antique silverplate. I guess they still had help then in the South.

Today you go to ant thrift store and there are stacks of silverplated bowls, candleholders, etc...most from the 1930 time slot. They do not sell, people do not want them. It has to be 18th and early 19th century or forget it.

So my glassware, linens, laces, just kept gathering dust in the little space and what I put together in jewelry sold. I bought more and more supplies for I have tons of that to add to my "rest of the shop", I guess I am
a retailer hoarder. There is a difference between a hoarder and a retail hoarder.
Since I was 16 I was selling something. Even before that, GI's would give us chewing gum and I hated the stuff , I made a big talk about it in school and the girls bought the gums like it was a beauty product. I was bitten by the selling bug.
So I always bought antiques with the idea to make a few bucks and keep going in a household which went from feast to famine. (artist life).

So the place where I rent opened up another wing and I immediately got the best corner and started shop II. 95 percent of that is jewelry. I have a continued following. After the slow winter months I decided that only one shop would be the best bargain right now. Rents are not cheap.

I decided to give most of my boot to the best kept charity shop in town.
I will just relax a bit more and have more time to devote to my new love "the beads" Now if I stop buying them we truly would be making money.....what did I say I was?
a retail hoarder......

Busy week end...........

Wednesday, August 22, 2012

Rhonda visits

The Noise of Anger
I am
Surrounded by
The Noise of
People angry
With people
For not doing
What they feel
Is right.
And then,
I turn off the radio,
Look past today’s headlines,
Shut out ugly conversations.

I come into the hospital.
Enter the elevator.
Press three.
Doors open.
Pediatric Oncology.

My nephew,
His arm is hurting.
He holds it.
The color is not good.

Doctor's look.
They suspect a blood clot.
The nurse comes in.
Makes a crack.
We laugh.
The noise of the angry people

Tuesday, August 21, 2012

another day to learn not to worry...yeah right!

It is going to be a great week, said Sabrina.
The schedule is light for Zack only Tuesday a shot and go home and Friday checking the numbers for an hour or so......great calm week after 3 weeks of go, go go.

OK . You believe that and I have a gorgeous bridge to sell you..........
Tuesday, today comes around and Zack has more and more pain in his arm, goes for his shot and gets sick, then an ultra sound, oh, a small detail, he now has a blood cloth in the arm. Medicine is a couple of hundred dollars and the insurance has not kicked in yet. By medicine I mean each shot and he needs 2 a day.
The social worker finds a place that has it in stock and sends them there to get it and it is FREE. Wow. Sabrina is starting a "thank you" book.
The duo get a dummy and learn how to inject the shot in the tummy.
Zack tells his Mom that he can do that to himself.
My mother had these for years twice a day. She had major problems with blood clots.
When she visited here I had to give the shots and I would tremble. It is a little needle hardly a prick but I would make such a drama over it. I did hurt her more then help. Later she would have black and blue marks but at the hospital they told Zack he may have that too.

The short visit lasted from 10 am to 6 oo PM
Zack was pissed.
He is still hurting , he said an odd pain that does not stop.

Meanwhile back in our casa I was falling apart, walked around like a zombie.
No kidding. I sort of did not know what to do next and I started 5 or 6 different jobs...........Rhonda helped them there and got them lunches and stuff.

Bobby gave me the usual lecture.....if you can't help him does it help to sit here and worry? Are you making him better when you sit here and cry? Do you have that power? If you don't then stop it. Do what you need to do and just know he is in medical hands and you can't change a thing.

How many lectures like this has he given me?
I am thinking when he gets his diploma he will start to charge me.
He gave me a book:
Feeling Good the new Mood therapy by Dr.Burns.
OK OK I will open a page or two......

I will sleep well tonight, I am exhausted...........

Monday, August 20, 2012


I am sick and tired of phone calls (again) political, commercial stuff and every charity I ever donated to ....all want my attention ...most want gifts of money and information for their data and the banks want to "give" me a credit card.

I thought all these calls were illegal and we did sign some time ago to not have these disturbances. But like in the movies....they are back !!!!!!!

So this week I was in a bad mood, some bank calls and wants me to know that\
I have a credit card at the ready blah blah blah....I cut her off from reading her whole damn script and tell her:

"I do not need a credit card, I will vote for Obama, and I have no more money for charities and I hang up. Figure that should cover them all."

Not ten minutes later a call: Would you please just drop these envelopes to the people up and down your street for X charity, poor little children blah , blah, blah...
by now I am somewhat red in the face. Call it anger if you will. I cut her off too and tell her this:"I am 8o years old, I do not speak to my neighbors and they do not speak to me and I am happy with that and so are they, so NO I will not drop of anything to go and beg for you"

I have had it, I used to be the friendly door mat but NO MORE
I hope they write under my name "cranky old woman or worse".

Knock on the door...excuse me....

Two nice young men , white shirts, black paints....I know who they are
Romney sent them.
I do not open the door and the dogs keep on barking.....

Leave me alone so I can Scrabble in peace and quiet.

Saturday, August 18, 2012

November 6th

By the time it turns Tuesday voting day I hope I was smart enough to get a write in vote and I am all done. Standing in line is not my favorite with a bad back.

So I will vote for Obama in case someone wants to know.

But after seeing all the ads on TV I will take that day off and crawl in bed put the covers over my head and sleep till the7th.

No more CNN, ABC, NBC, CBS hoopla for me that day.
Did I forget Fox? No, I never watch them.

Lets get this over with..

So the thought came to me to about the hoopla now in session if we should have and ID or not at the polls.

That just reminds me of my native Belgium, every soul in B. has to vote.
If you are ill they send a car for you, they go into hospitals and nursing homes
and get votes. Illegal to refuse.

I know, I know, freedom of speech and all that ...but what would happen if we changed this here?

And when will it be illegal to continue the super ads paid for by "who knows?"
Of course we know. Why can 2 old brothers who play with money for fun just try and dangle all this money to play with the political gurus like they are puppets.
I know they have them on both sides. It is disgusting. I think I may go to bed now and crawl under the covers.

morning routine

My morning routine is changing somewhat.
After taking Bijou for his 1/2 hour walk I get my ice cold Starbucks coffee (260 Cal!) and $$$$dollars and head for the computer.
I used to do the emails first now it is to see if Brie has posted something new.
I just sit and read, all the ups and downs of the teddy bear I love.
He has it rough. She has it rougher.
We do not call each other as we used to I think because we both become
blubbering idiots and no one needs that.
I sit by the computer and become a solo blubbering idiot.
I feel like I am 1000 miles is only about 30 miles.
I don't drive but I also am wise enough to know that Zack would take one look at me and wonder why his Meme is so sad.
He might think that I know something he does not and that is not so.
He would try to read me, he always does.
I look around and have finished my coffee and do not even remember it.
I missed the good taste while the tears are flowing.
I will now get to the email and then my Facebook games.
I have many people I scrabble with and that needs some attention.
I will have a great day because everything will be OK.
I am working on that now......

Thursday, August 16, 2012


Grandmothers should not have to redo it all.

We have been mothers, we have watched the babies learn to walk and fall, we have been there forever, laughing, crying, beaming with pride and sometimes wanting to hide,
we have done it all.

So then comes the day they marry (not always) and you feel like they are gone out of the nest. We can relax now. Not so fast. Soon the babies come and we watch them walk and fall......This video we have seen before...if we are close to them in heart and geography we have all the joys again, all the tears and worries all over again.
Someone tells you :"It is not your problem, you are ONLY the grandmother!"

What? Where did you come from?

Monday, August 13, 2012


When I go to the ER or Urban care places then I feel I need to be there.
I am not going for the fun of it.
I also am very vulnerable.
When I see people in white coats, equipment dangling from their pockets and
pens leaking in the top one. Then I feel like they know something I don t and I better listen if I want to be feeling better.
They are still demi gods to me even so I know better..........

After 2 weeks and my last fall I was beginning to feel a lot more pain on Sunday/.
I had done much better 2 days before and suddenly I can't lift my arm without
terrible pain. Talked to the girls and Rhonda is coming tout de suite to take me to Asheville Urban Care unit still open this Sunday afternoon.

When I tell you that I hurt you can believe me.
I do pain very well. But this time I just had enough of it.
I started to worry...what if????

The person who questioned me (nurse ???) was very lovely and understanding, I am used to tattoos now but why do I still feel a bit uncomfortable when I see one on her forearm. (OK Jeannot no judging here). After awhile the PA comes, seems they do not have an MD on staff or she is hiding, we did not spot one.
This tall skinny grey haired lady tells me that she has concerns of pneumonia, a cracked rib or lung puncture. They will do Xrays BUT she said the one we take will not show the whole rib cage, we will focus on lungs.

The young lady comes back and brings us to Xray room.
First Xray OK.
Then she is puzzled which side should she Xray?
The side in pain or will the xray show up better if she takes it from the other side and get a cross view ...she asks us, Rhonda and I.
I make a comment that I am sure she has to take the side affected against the board. She goes to check her book or something....comes back and yes puts me
with the pain against the panel......(who would have thought?)
I am still vulnerable but I see Rhonda frowning. Frowning a lot.
After all she was married to a doctor for 17 years some of it rubs off.

Back to waiting room. PA comes back said the second Xray was not good so xray number 3 is ordered.....I am getting "unpleased" it is slow but I am thinking this white apron lady and her tattoo friend are probably sit ins while the good ones are on vacation.

After 3rd Xray and she knew which side to do now without asking us.
The PA comes in and said: No pneumonia, no ribs cracked must be still the bruising.
So I will give you a prescription for a pain pill because the Advil was not working today but do follow up with your doctor. (Turns out I have an appointment in 11 days)
Added instruction YOU can only take one a day because you have but one kidney. We may not overtax the kidney.

Try then on a Sunday at 8 PM to find an open pharmacy.
Rhonda makes some phone calls and find out that some 12 miles or so there is a
CVS with 24 hours.

We find it without a problem, en route to home again now 35 miles I take the
pill only to wake up at 3 am, I wake up because I am in pain ....again....

Oh the ER trip to that location is not going to happen again. We should go straight to the Hospital ER even if we have to wait forever.

Now I just bite off the pain and wait till the time comes this evening when I can take another one.

Rhonda in her new job is faced daily with people who are not doing their job correctly and headquarters are coming to check out everyone.
She tells me of some darn right stupid things people do in the office.
She and a couple of other girls are in customer service and she may have calls waiting while others chit chat or ignore the calls.

Even in hospital Sabrina found a few nurses not checking the charts before they come in the room, so she and Zack write everything down. All meds and shots he gets.
When she gets a nurse with other chores not prescribed Sabrina goes to the main nurse and reports before anything bad will happen.
It should not be this way. If people do not like their job they should find something they do like.

Sunday, August 12, 2012

Emus and Kangaroos can't walk are you not excited to find this out? Yahoo mailed it to me. Blame them.

Cool Sunday feels a bit like September, the squirrels are everywhere.
Black walnuts are dropping already. Most of my garden rotted from the daily rains.
Mosquitoes have moved in forever.

I am in a mood and can't explain it all here because this site also has ears.
I am finally without pain from my fall, took about 2 weeks.
Assuming nothing was broken, I did not see a doctor. See enough of them.

Zack shaved part of his hair in anticipation.
Brie took a photo he looks so darn sad.

I have not been the same since June 6 when he had his surgery. This hangs in your psyche, in your bones, in your heart and soul. You can't stop thinking about it.
I talked to Bob about it and he feels exactly the way I do.
All our lives changed when this boy had cancer.
Must be cautious to say HAD it. It is gone.
The treatment as precaution is the bad guy here and one does not dare
not have it when the odds of a comeback is 85 %.
The year will be what we make of it.
I must turn my thinking to absolute only good for him.
The treatments may not affect him badly.
He is not getting upset about his trips to and fro.
He can work on his car.
He can go to Nashville when all is said and done.
His friends will stick by him.
I must change all my thoughts.

Saturday, August 11, 2012


I am always wondering why the Ukraine is interested in an old lady with her blog of little interest to anyone except my best friends.

The girls are very busy today making Zack's room perfect and germ free.
New floor , new paint, etc..etc..
hope Zack likes it. He picked the color.
Tuesday he goes to hospital for more tests and tests and overnight.....

He told his Mom he is tired of needles and feeling tired.
I tell myself OK 2 weeks are gone now. Lets start the countdown.

Watched little of the O's this week but continue my work in ordering for Christmas and continuing my fall collection. Last night when I went to bed I could not even look at another bead. I thought what the hell am I doing? I should sit in a chair reading and eating bonbon.s (Belgian of course) but I do not need fattening up.

Bob following daily the Curiosity and explains me every detail. I love it.
As the wheels turn there is a morse code message for the lab on earth.
I do not remember how many camera's there are but I am interested in what it will dig up and then examine "it" within the Curiosity and send back the findings.
I am so much into stones now that I am truly interested.
How much will a stone from Mars be???One day some old lady will be sitting making necklaces from Mars Jasper.

So we have our share in gold in the Olympics, we are a large nation...
we should have that many. England has 26 gold and probably the size of
New York State. I am not discounting the US Gold and others but I find it normal that we do have that many athletes.

Early on I read that it is the year of the "woman".
In the O's our girls beat the boys! Enough said.

Why some still need to drink too much, enjoy the green leaf stuff and KNOW that they will be tested, that is beyond me. Do they know how much their parents have spent
on their sport journey?????

More rain today, we had deluges every day and then sun and humid.
The tomato plants just rotted. A lot of flowers too.
In the middle of America we have the dust bowl all over again and a loaf of bread is going to be come expensive, not to mention gasoline and a zillion other things, farmers do not have feed so they are selling stock all over the affected states.
One man I saw sold all his pigs and he was in tears.
Corn is at a premium there and here in WNC we have a great crop but not enough to feed this country in the next year.

Back to work now and beading..............

Wednesday, August 8, 2012

Wednesday is for beading

I am 6 behind on my schedule. Darn Olympics....darn scrabble....but someone told me yesterday that I am a lady of leasure....we will go with that.

Zack has to go in hospital next week. For how many days they are not telling, up to 5 days...or less.....

he told me he did get the shot which will make him bald and right now he is laughing about it. At first he was upset but he is really going with the flow.

All he can talk about is cars.

Attitude is half the battle.
He has the right one.

OK lets have a super nice day

Tuesday, August 7, 2012

Never give up on learning..........

I have it figured out.
To stay young in my thinking and exploring is very simple....with me lives a very bright son who will be 40 soon.
He keeps me on my toes with important stuff.
Together we had watched the journey of Curiosity while he kept track of the other ancient ones. If he had not been here I would not have given a thought to it all.

He is not into Nascar, football and even the Olympics left him cold.
But any changes in our scientific world he explores in fine details.
He protects anything to do with animals. He takes a spider outside and places it whre he thinks it should be, kill a black widow? No not ever. Kill a rattler? No!
He designed a large tube with handle when he sees a poisonous snake in our "village" garden he picks it up and it goes back into the woods.

His wardrobe can be put in one grocery bag. A clothe horse he never was.
I wish I could learn a bit about that. How many tops can I wear ???Really!
His T shirts are with messages like "Darwin loves you".
He can be sarcastic and very funny.

Most of all when I am in doubt I go to him and ask for advice and he never steers
me wrong. His mind is objective and does not play favorites, not even if it concerns his sisters .

Bobby keeps me thinking.

Monday, August 6, 2012

Good times

As time passes and reality sinks in a bit more every day this means that I am getting calmer. Zack has gone shopping for a run about car and tells his mom "it is a secret for Meme, do not tell her, I want to tell her".
The secret is out as Mom blasted it on her blog, it is an oldie and
Zack said :My truck is too high for Meme to get into....

I am spoiled.
He is already looking for trips with me. Going shopping or running around having a lunch or two.

We met the troops on Saturday, Nick Rhonda, Peter and I.
Straight to the drugstore cafe with Brie joining us and the best hot dog and ice cream.
Filled my shop and forgot the earrings, dummie me.

Waiter is looking at me and my very purple eye, he is quiet, I tell him:
"Look, you should have seen the other lady, flat on the floor!"
He laughs out loud , my kids cover their faces ,they no longer have a mother at this table.
People walk by and take a second look, most Sabrina reminds me think I am that lush and got drunk or was in a car accident. Do they not know that old ladies do fall?
Guess not. Guess I will not be evil and wish "vertigo" on them all but I did think about it for a second or two.

Today it looks like a make up smear. Who cares?

Yesterday was an exciting day as Bob and I had watched all the details and the film on how Curiosity was put together, what a job of engineering and how many fingers touched all these wires, metal gadgets, cameras etc....thousands of hands all
with a dream..."What I am doing today will visit Mars...." how many people can go home and tell their kids that.

Bob is very much into Nasa studies and has taught me a lot. When before I was just thinking we were wasting money. I owe Bob as I am learning a lot from him, the mind half my age and always "on".

The gadget is going to land tonight on Mars and they will not know if it is OK and how it landed for 7 minutes as this has to do with time travel.
It left in November 2011 and took all this time to get there.

At 1.30 am Bob wakes me : Come see Mom, it landed!!!!!!!!!
I was up till 3 am reading and looking at all the reportage and I was just beaming.
Got up then at 12.30 PM , half of my Monday was shot but what the hay..........
History was made during the night.

My great grandchildren will read this and say: "What was the big deal? Look where we are now".

My great grandfather Alphonse Wein was a gas light walker in the city of Ghent.
He lit the gas lights on the streets in the evening and turned them off in the morning. No electricity yet in the streets.
His wife and 2 daughters went with their mother to the weaving factory, the children sitting under the mother skirt to keep warm as the textile revolution had taken place in the Flanders.

Think what I can recall from first hand stories and about 120 years of changes.
I am not always sure it is progress, but that is my small mind.

My first movie, Pepe, (maternal grandfather) had me for a few months and decided we would go to the cinema. He had never been, neither had I, I think I was about 8 or9.
When we went home, he told me that he was very upset. He said that the pictures were a puzzle. You never saw how the woman went from her kitchen to the bedroom.
Had she gone into a hall? He wanted to have the movie show us every step of real life movements , the actress in her kitchen and second later in the bedroom just did not click for him.

I sat on the floor with my small ones when we started going into space and we viewed it on TV in black and white. Last night I watched on my computer a live story of grown man waiting in silence for their machine to land.

Saturday, August 4, 2012

shopping today

Rhonda will take me shopping and then on to have lunch with Brie and fill my shop with the stock I just finished. I have been working, it is a relief, working needs detailed attention. No time to think of anything else. I am even thinking Christmas already and ordered some beads just for that season.

New handcarved beads on the market, they are expensive, some go for 60.00 for one bead, can't work with that but I did buy one for 22.oo. A cat.
Will be an expensive necklace for sure. Have to add 20 inches or more other beads to it.

I am rattling, I miss Sabrina and Zack and I can't give away the ache in my heart. Zack will meet a young man who had the same cancer on his leg and into the bone. He is all healed and he will share with Zack what is to come.

I run around with nausea for hours and fight getting rid of it , this way since childhood, son Bob does the same and now poor Zack has the same tendency. I feel for him.

My eye looks a bit better but I am not happy to go out with that.
My breast hurts all the time so I take an Advil when it is too much. I am not allowed to take Aleve , too hard for the kidney said doc.

It is raining, I do not care, the garden is a disgrace, I do not care, I cultivated 2 tomatoes from my 8 plants, I do not give a damn. Weeds are almost knee high and I do not give a damn. Bob has his own big problems as he has great difficulty to write and please a Rev.religious teacher with phylosophie. If he wrote what he feels he would get an F (he thinks) he is very uptight about his grades so he struggles a lot in this course. Another 2 weeks. Then they change again.

*I think if I was a drinker I would be drunk all the time now. As a matter of fact I miss my Valium from the 1970's. Way to go...........

Thursday, August 2, 2012

Falling is my middle name

I can't remember falling a lot, well a couple of times in Belgium when I do not look where I am going and I trip over the cobble stones. Just a bloody knee in front of a bus of tourist. (red faced)

I changed all that with becoming a senior. I also fight with vertigo, it comes and goes without sending me an email. I turn around and bingo I hit the wall.

in 2010 I broke my ankle in 3 places. Hardware holds me together.
Last year, got out of my chair and swirled around like a stiff balerina and fell on my derriere with great noise. Result= Dr. Bones said simply: You broke your back!
I thought this could not be since I am still walking but it is a bit of a problem and a bit of a pain.......

Third fall: couple of nights ago, half asleep, I am trying to find my nightlamp and misjudge, fall out of bed, first contact with something solid is my eye and the corner of my night stand. Big wham!!!
and this is how I look:

I can promise you, my best friends, I have not had a drink since I went to see
Neil Diamond !!! The rampant psoriasis makes it impossible for me to drink a glass of wine or scratch, scratch all day.

just pain

Nothing much to add today, Zack has been in the cancer center 3 days in a row.
Seems that he can't keep down the liquids they give him to flush out the "whatever".
He has had 3 very taxing days. Now he can look forward to 4 days of rest.
He was sad when his friends showed their school schedule.
Of course he will be.

I look at the photos Sabrina post and my heart just sinks.

I do not know how Brie continues with paperwork to file, working late at night at her office to catch up. Eating out all the time.
How can she continue to be a rock?

Where does Zack get the power he is showing us. How I admire him and her.

How I wish it would be easy.