Thursday, August 19, 2010

Neglected garden

Never has my garden been so neglected as this year. The broken ankle had a lot to do with it. So I let everything grow.
Including weeds.
Conclusion: In all our 36 years here I have never seen so many butterflies and bees, birds of all sorts too. It is just great.
So obviously they do not know the difference between buttercups which invade all, wild morning glories, dandelions and my 35.00 special Japanese maple also in bloom.

I think I will let it be till next spring and then maybe, just maybe, I may do some weeding.

Trying to see if I can still do this

Handknotting beads was one of our hobbies during the 1960's and 1970's, hippy time.

Bob and I worked on hundreds of necklaces. So I decided to make some perhaps for presents if I can still get the hang of it.
I do not have all of the materials yet, yikes they cost money!
Used to be so simple, we had a choice of perhaps 2 or3 cords now there are all sorts of gadgets, findings, and enough to spent your allowance in 10 minutes time.
They even have a knotter now which I do not like. Played a bit with what I did have this afternoon , made quite a few mistakes but I learned a ton from them.
Except for the hemp all pieces were
I think I will try a few more tomorrow.

Finished with painting

My workbench is set up and painting is done.!!!Need to hang up paintings, can't stand bare walls.

Have a lazy streak

I had all these topics in my head to write about but did not get much computer time in this week.
Excuses: still too hot for me.
secondly: still sleeping during the day
thyroid not being very nice.
thirdly: started to sort the bead stuff and trying to start.
fourth: lets call it what it is, a mild depression AGAIN.

Visits to Bob are getting harder and harder but he messed with my head or did I let him mess with my head?
For a long time now he would stroke my hair the way he always did.
He would try and get some order in my strands while we sat at the table.
He would always comment on what I was wearing and touch the fabrics.
(I should not buy large flower prints!!he said)
So he continued to do that at the nursing home. The girls and I thought he remembered this somewhere deep in his memory bank.
Not so, I thought I was so special, we walked down the hall and one of the mean ladies sat in her wheelchair cussing at a nurse, she has hair (my color) but down her shoulders, he went over and touched her hair very gently.
She did not notice which is a good thing, she is a fighter.
My bubble burst. He does this to others too so he did not remember me.
He is and always will be a very gentle man.
He had fallen again but he is made of iron. Seems he does linger too often in a room and checks out the chests of drawers.
Well, he did this here in our house for years and years. One time all my underpants were gone, I found them with his socks hidden under all his stuff.
No, he never was a cross dresser do not think he had intentions of becoming one.

I wish I out of this "black cloud over my head" feeling.
Not my nature to be so gloomy all the time, I hate it.

Thursday, August 5, 2010

Thanks for the article SW

a friend sent me an article from the New York paper about feeding  in the end of Alzheimer disease.
To my surprise they are saying the same I have been saying for weeks.
"Feed him a banana!!!"

I just said that because that what he ate a lot at home, that and 4 yes four gallons of milk a week.

The article also states that research showed that tube feedings do not prolong life. They are uncomfortable, often rejected, harder to swallow and do not have the human touch.

A human touch with handfeeding is recommended and for sure the bananas!

Who knew that I was so smart? The survey did not call me.

Painting and panting

finding out that painting a room at age 78
is not like it was at age 50 something.

Wednesday, August 4, 2010

August and the heat is back

We had it cool for a few days but ,of course, it had to come back.
The moods around here are getting a bit lighter, we are finally at the end of paper work for Bob. Two lawyers had done some of it, years ago and both screwed us up by not filing what had to be done....enter lawyer numero 3.

Where are the pro's who take your money and do their jobs????

By saturday  we should be done with the office/work room.
Bobby painting the top and I what I can reach. I am not 40 anymore.
I am exhausted after 3 hours painting.
Then I need a map. Where are the days that I just got out a brush and finished a room in 2 or 3 days.
I could not wait for Rhonda to finish, I was getting clutter fever from moving furniture here and there, curtains , knick knacks ~all fragile~ and between all that 3 dogs not knowing where to walk and forcing themselves into holes to small for them.
My hair is falling out from psoriasis and thyroid problems but I was ready to pull it out!!!!

I still have to paint my bedroom but I think I will wait for cooler weather.

Friday we visit Bob again and my heart wants to run there. Yet when I get there and see him I am totally in shock ,disbelief, and every organ in my body starts to ache for him.
It is not fair, a gentle , caring, loving,very spiritual man and a shell is left, not even a memory anymore of what he had lived for.
I love and I hate to go there but no one can keep me away.

Sunday, August 1, 2010


for a change it was nice and cool yesterday. Hot weather back on the way for the coming week.

The dreams are horrible.
I am now in the habit of reading in bed till 12 or 1 , afraid to fall asleep.
This whole night I was showing Bob fold over in his chair and barely knowing where he was or what was going on.
Every time a person would come I would show them that Bob is sick.
I woke up with tears running down my face. Not enough to cry during the day, I have to do it my sleep too?
I was doing so well...............
maybe when this office is back into shape and I can start on the jewelry it will be a nice diversion.
so....back to painting, perhaps I will have this done tomorrow.