It has been hot and my zest for writing is diminished with my dripping wet body. Oh! the South! Oh the price of an a/c!
BUT better days are coming, looks like I have been approved for some remodeling in the old house. A/C will be with it.
My dearest friend called me because I had not written in awhile in this blog and then she worries about me. How many people have that kind of a friend? I am lucky!
We talked a lot about old Bob and what it takes to make his day, his meals, his rest, etc....she ended up by saying that I am keeping him alive with my care. That came as a shock to me. I thought about it for a second and then figured that for sure he has better care in this house than he would have any other place.
Maybe, just maybe, I thought. I am doing something right here. As one gets older , one tends to become a bit paranoid- read "very" in my case- one listens to some of the complaints from some children "you should have done...." from your financial advisor (If I had one) _"You should have...."
from my own conscience "Why did you not do..." and so there are times that I wonder how I ever made it to 77 and what in the h... did I do right or wrong.
To hear that I am probably keeping Bob alive at least gives me the thought that I must be doing ok with this situation even if at times I am way beyond aggravated and stressed to the max.
These thoughts invariably bring me back to a very young soul -left us way too early- she was only 32 and had not experienced much laughter, brightness, color me bright pink kind of days. A dark helo had followed her through her very young years, battles with mental health when she indeed worked with all her talents, heart and brain in that particular field.
At 32 she could have said "I should have" , she probably did but in reality she helped dozens and dozens of people who could not help themselves. She worked with the disabled of all ages, from babies to seniors. She did everything for them that they could n't do. No doubt she kept many alive. No doubt her love for them made them smile even when she was too exhausted to return it.
I miss her, that kind of spirit is not just about a job it is about helping another soul. It is about giving your all and she did that.
I have no idea why I wrote all that. I am just missing her and I just had to write it down.
The hot Southern day can do that to someone without A/C ...go figure !