Thursday, November 12, 2009

Someone in Florida lost it....

In the news this week:
A caregiver supposedly killed his father who was afflicted with Alzheimer. Allegedly threw him in the ocean because "he stunk". The man had been a caregiver for some 8 years or more. The father refused bathing (we all know about that one).

My heart goes out to that man.
I read right now he is on house arrest till his trial comes up.
I do think we have to truly start thinking about incidents like these. He is not the first and will not be the last.
I know I came close to just flipping out in several occasions, I had the fortitude to know it was coming and talked to my support group who either came over or talked me into some
state of sanity.
It happens folks, I do not care how much you love the person you care for, there are moments when you tell yourself that you can't do one more chore, one more minute with someone following you, one more item to worry about.

Often after years you have drained your resources on medicine and help, you no longer are the same person.
The sick one is but a body floating about. You lose him/her, you no longer have conversations which make sense.
You no longer can leave the house without someone to take your place. If you are lucky and can afford day care then it is a reprieve for some hours. You try then to think of what "normal" was and try to catch some of this before he/she comes home again.
Vacations are out. Nice restaurants with him/her can be
somewhat an embarrassing situation, the table manners are gone. Trips for your charge to the bathroom can be a challenge , especially if there are 2 doors.
They get lost even in small places, you better be there.
There are so many daily activities which change with every down hill the illness takes away.
It isw never going to get better.
You might think that today Margaret knew you, you love to know that to be true. You see a glimmer in his eyes and you tell yourself "He knows me!". You are still finding hope no matter what you truly know deep inside.

I am told that the research money for Alzheimer is a minimal amount when you compare it to Cancer yet every so many seconds, I think I read 7, someone in this country is being told that they have Alzheimer.
Baby boomers are growing older and guess what? If you have money to invest built day cares and long term care places, we are surely going to need them.

Baby boomers would also be wise to buy a reliable long term care insurance. I could not get it 12 years ago because my husband had prostate cancer so they refused him.
Who has 4 to 7000 a month to pay for this service when you are no longer able. ?

Back to the poor fellow who it is said killed his father, I am so feeling for him. I am so hoping that he does not go to jail.
I am sorry but some bargaining must be able to come to the table. I doubt very seriously that he was in a sane frame of mind.

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