For two days now I am whirling around in a washing machine and when it stops I am not sure where I am and how I can manage the feeling in the pit of my stomach.
The feeling that something has gone wrong yet it had nothing to do with me
in the washing machine.
This is how I am walking around...a daze...sad...not wanting to eat one minute and wanting tons of chocolate the next. Looking at the dog hairs in the corners and staring at the vacuum. Forgetting my dogs name. Wanting to sleep and then can't ...wanting to have a stiff drink and I rarely drink alcohol....
What is going on? A grandmother in pain.
Was it just yesterday (yes) that the doctor said he had sarcoma. A new word in my vocabulary. The little voice inside the right here tells me not to look it up, always the worst case scenario shows up on the internet. The voice in the left ear tells me:
Go ahead you want to be informed in this new world.
But ...we must wait till the oncologist comes up with answer and that is tomorrow.
Meanwhile we try and stay calm...we just better do our best and stay very calm.