This morning I feel like I am on vacation.
No, I have not been drinking and I am not even taking the
recommended inhaler. I am just fine and dandy.
The change as I said before is my free time.
Time to do what I want.
I have not had this in so long.
In fact I always went to work with my husband,
if it was the shop, the shows, or him painting at home, we were
I liked it that way and so did he.
On occassions he would do an art show on his own and then
I felt strangely free and ran around the house wondering why
this was "fun" . Just to be alone now and then was fun but I
still wanted to see him with open arms when he returned.
Now that the daily routine SEEMS to be set and he goes to day care.
(Well behaved) He gets into the van without a struggle, and
comes home happy that he "worked" so well.
Now I am FREE from about 10 to 4 , WOW.
I can do what Jeannot wants.
The freedom is new to me, I either accomplish a lot in a day
and feel delighted or I accomplish almost nothing and try
not to feel guilt.
My moods have gone a complete turn around.
I told the kids that I can take care of him another 20 years if it
stays this way..................
OK so I know better but I am not going there.
I will not spoil the mood for the day.
I also am learning via email about other people.
I now met a lady in her 60's who has : polio, (in a wheelchair)
cancer (her chemo made her legally blind, deaf in one ear and loss of taste and smell).
She lives alone, she is brilliant and had a great career but now all this ....................
I do not think that for one single minute I have a right to sit on a pity pot.
When we look around us we may see the pretty houses with manicured lawns,
tulips cropping up, people walking their dogs and little children around the
block but we never know what goes on behind that door and windows
covered by lacy curtains.
There are lives going on in there and some have tragedies of all kinds and some
have it better but we do not know as we stroll or drive past them.