Wednesday, August 27, 2008

I NEED CAREN

Yesterday was a bad day, I went shopping with daughter and upon my return son handed over his dad and said:"You can have him".
Translate= I had a bad day with him.
Old Bob was agitated , he stayed that way the whole evening so I had us go to bed early and gave him his Tylenol PM hoping he would sleep.
Today, I was home from work, he got up about 10 and looked like he did not know me.
That kind of day again, I told myself.
Told him that I was here to take care of him.
His answer was: I do not know who I am, where I am, I am confused, I need Carla,
all this is said with great difficulty as he can't make a sentence.
The Carla, or Caren could not come out very well and we know no one with that name.
I thought maybe we were back to the car issue.
He sat with his hand around his head and was clearly in a bad state.
After awhile , after cajoling, hugging and kisses he seemed to be happy with that
attention and rested a bit.
The rest of the day he went from room to room , looking at his paintings, inspecting son's room, and mumbling. In and Out, jacket on and off. It is 85degrees so the jacket is not needed
but on it goes and he refuses to take it off.
I am exhausted from watching him. Worried he would wander.
Asked work to cut my days to 4.
If I can find a way I want to be home now.
I am getting so tired.
I sleep but have mostly nightmares or somebody who wants to take away my Maltese.
I feel like I am 90 , these days.
Even so I also think that the adjustments at the chiropractor are helping.
ok so I got all this off my chest, now on to the convention tonight.

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