Thursday, April 2, 2009


Rainy day again. Lots of fog, depressing yet we have to say thank you to mother nature otherwise I will not be able to water my garden again. Last year was a bummer , if we did water there was a $500 fine.

Nowadays I live for the garden.

Bob was sleeping the other night and I just could not get with the program.
Trying so hard to keep the eyes closed and grabbing at "good thoughts" which eluded me.
I looked at his small face and deep lines while he made little puffing sounds.
Could this be my man? Have we come this far?

I remember when we first met I was 36 and he was 42.
Both of us sort of drama queens, we thought we would never be old
together. He was never sick, I had been very ill with arthritis bouts
which were debilitating. The medics said I would be in a wheel chair
by 50.
Here we are 40 plus years later and I am the strong one.
I am the caregiver. His karma, he was so kind and gentle with me
when I could hardly walk. He took care of my girls when I was
unable to comb their hair. Could not pour coffee.
He stuck by me. He could have been running the other way
back to San Francisco, no he just gave it his all to care for me.

After I ran this around my mind somehow I know I was smiling
at his old face and thanked him. Fell asleep hoping that tomorrow
I would remember all this and not be grouchy.

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