Wednesday, February 10, 2010

What now?

Got up after a hilarious dream.
Some friends, long gone, were odd millionaires in my dream and we were just traveling all over the place and having so much fun. I got up and giggled. That was a fun dream. Alfredo who was a cut up in life had continued to be so in my dream. A little dog was also on the scene.
I did not stay in that mode for very long as I felt the kitchen to be cold.
Touched the heaters and "cold" .
Ran downstairs to the old furnace and "cold" - not working.
26 degrees outside and a fierce wind.
62 inside , put in the electric heater which I can't put on high or the electric fuse goes. My fuse box is the antique kind but I doubt that I can get much on eBay for it.
The mood did not get better as I decided to wake son and ask if he could check the furnace. At that moment I did forget that he had a bout with insomnia and the last I saw him he had not slept for 18 hours.
To wake him up now was brutal but all I could think about was how cold I was.
Well, it did not all sit very well and we had an argument.
I crawled in bed with the covers over my head.
I had a brief moment when I truly thought that continuing this journey was getting to be too much.
I was totally exhausted of emotions, exhausted of not knowing answers, exhausted from life.
So it has been a shitty day and I can't wait till it is 8 o clock and I can put Bob in bed, crawl next to him and watch
American Idol.
I want to think of nothing pertaining to my life ,I want to hear people sing off key and fall asleep.
Oh btw son did fix the 50 year old furnace something to do with the pilot.
Right now I can't even think how great that was.

No comments: