Thursday, September 1, 2011

September it is!


Been reading a lot of European mail lately and the confusion set in
as they write 1/9/11 and my slower brain has to justify it all.

I am going to have a slow week end.
I am going to relax more.
I have 3 books on the Kindle, lets see what I do with it.
I have replenished the stock for shoppe, will be a busy week end for them.

I am trying to redirect my mind and forget that the 5th is one year when
Bob left us. The whole week the scene of me saying goodbye kept flashing in front of me. I still have a lot of problems with remembering him when he was well and
functioning. I can't imagine that he went shopping, in the car, alone, to get what was on my list. Did he ever do that? I question myself. No visual in the memory bank of that.

When I walk Bijou I look for his image at the end of my street, to the day that I broke my ankle and he had to go to a rest home, he stood there, I could count on him to stand there and look for me. If he turned around the other way he became confused and walked towards 5th Avenue. If he kept focused on me coming down the
hill then he was ok till we were close and Bijou thought he just found his friend.

Why is it so hard to remember the good times. To remember him healthy.
I want to forget the last 13 years, should I forget???
Can I ever stop the pain?

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