Wednesday, April 9, 2008

Slowing down

A relative of ours has written negative letters all her life. When the letter comes you are afraid to open it. The kid broke an arm, the car broke down, the boss was mean, the rain would not stop,
the mattress is old, the new TV sucks, and on and on.
So , at this point in my life, I am afraid to write to my friends for I am not always in good spirits but I try. Who wants to hear about all the bad news???Just turn on TV and you have a belly full.
But this blog I started for those in the same boat such as us and so we can just uplift one another or we can read that we are not alone and what some of the solutions are.
For instance I always think that with the Namenda and Raznil (?) old Bob has been able to last quite long without falling quickly into never land.
It is costly but I would recommend it.
Get driveway alarms , sign up for the bracelet in case he/she is lost , a must.
Lately we have alarms at the doors inside the house.
The last few weeks a lot of small changes are surfacing.
He forgets to do the dishes which he was religiously doing before I would come home.
The other day , I asked to walk the dog.
He pointed to the cat.
I showed him Toto, he took him outside and stood there in the driveway with
a dog who had his legs crossed but daddy decide he would come back in.
He had no idea what to do with the dog.
He hides more stuff.
He does not warm up to son, instead he looks with anger at him.
He sleeps between bites of lunch and dinner.
He sleeps watching the birds.
Yet he refuses to take a nap in bed.
He talks very little these days.
He has problems making a sentence.
He looks frail.
The people at the post office told me yesterday they were shocked to see him
looking so ill when we were there last week.
He does not look ill, he is frail and skinny.
He looks like he is not here most of the time.

Last Friday I lost it at work, not proud of it,
I want to be professional .
Daughter called me and said she would pick me up shortly.
I hung up and after hearing her voice I just let it all out.
I just cried and cried.
My manager had to count my money and do the deposits I just
was a blubbering idiot who could not count.
I did not want to go home so Sabrina and I drove around
all afternoon from Walmart to Target to Sams.
Once there I would not know what I needed either.
To make matters worse it was that afternoon that I found out
about our friend's letter which was returned with a Deceased stamp on.
I am coming out of it.
Sabrina my grandson and I will go for 2 days to Gatlinburg TN and visit the new acquarium.
Fishes calm me down even sharks.
Sometimes I tell myself to go deep into the boots and pull up some more
hope, courage, and stamina. That was always my mother's message.
Sometimes my 10 1/2 boots are too big to dig in.
Sometimes one needs to cry buckets, and mother always said that then
you do not pee so much either.
Voila that is all for the Belgian wisdom

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