Sunday, January 3, 2010

books and more books

It seems that every other month another book shows up on how to live with Alzheimer's patients.
Om WowOwow this week there is a new one.
If I remember well it is written by a Mrs Fox.
Her suggestions albeit brief in that site is something all of us caregivers can write after 2 years experience.
Nothing new that I saw here.
I was not impressed but then in all honesty I did not read the whole book.
So many of them is just repetition and more repetition.
OK how much can you write about it?
They say if you know a person with Alzheimer/dementia then you know just one person. Fact is that a lot act out differently and yet there are always some similarities in the different stages.
This lady writes to tell us that holding hands in the nursing homes means that somehow the ill one will know and will be happy to have that experience.
Well, what about having them under foot 24/7 , feeding, changing diapers, washing when possible. Would that help too?
Holding hands, we often do in bed, he often reaches for my hand and we fall asleep that way. When in fact and truth be told I am still angry for what he did an hour ago. I try and gt over it and hold his hand because he wants it.

I think that it is important to read what you can about the legalities when the disease is diagnosed, get your papers in order, check out if there will be a possibility down the road for a rest home, get your financial house in order.
There are some books out there showing you step by step and that is extremely important.

When to give up driving is probably the hardest nut to crack.
Everyone is going to hold on to the driving, no matter how you slice it, you will have a battle on your hands.
From past experience I would say to get rid of the car if you can. I did not do that and it costs us a lot of grief even after 7 or so years. Gave the car to my son and my husband still checks the doors every day.

Understand that from this moment on:"Nothing will ever be the same for you and the afflicted".
I was told that by a man with experience and I hated it when he told me.
These words still ring in my ears and no greater truth was ever said to me.

Some people prefer to say that it is dementia not Alzheimer like that is a better price to win. Folks , you are just trying too hard , last we saw a specialist it was too expensive to do the final test and Medicare did not cover it but the good doctor told me that in any case they really do not know until they can do an autopsy. By then you do not care what it was, you have enough scares from caregiving.

Check out your books at the library and buy the one that helped you so you can go back to it time and time again or just take it all one day at the time....or one hour at the 16 hours my husband will be on the bus to daycare...that I am doing one hour at the time.

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