Tuesday, March 16, 2010

where is Bob

So where is Bob?

During all this drama, we found a room at the inn for old Bob.

Once my ankle was broken and I am out of commission we had to find a home.

Did at the Parkridge since they have a program to study on violence.

But it is a 10 day program.

I visited him twice.

It is the hardest situation for me.

Here I am still exhausted and on one leg but not only that I have to hand over

my husband of 42 years to strangers.

I know every mood, every look in his lost eyes. I know what he wants, how will

they work with him?

First visit he looked good, showed us his room and every one elses room.

We got the tour of the place and he smiled.

He looked so clean, they had done a good job shaving him.

He had received a bath and had tried to beat the lady who did it.

A friend of Sabrina's no less.

Then 3 days later we went to see him again and this time was a bad day.

They told us up front:he is having a bad day.

He noticed Sabrina and came out of group and hugged her with his eyes closed

then he looked at me in the wheelchair and shook my hand.

Said a mild “how do”, then looked deep into my eyes and just kept looking

he was trying to figure out what he knew about this woman.

He knew there was something.

He picked my hand up again and Kissed it.

I could not get out of there fast enough.

He had to be diverted he wanted to come with us.

He did not look good, he had become so frail and skinny.

They told me that he did not want to eat.

I know there is a stage when they give up and slowly starve themselves.

I am broken hearted, a fracture in my ankle fractures the rest of me

even more.

He is going to die and I know it and I wish for the end to come today

so he no longer has to wander in a circle of doors.

Does not get the flan, the crepes which I fix him.

My friend tells me I kept him alive, I probably did.

Today we are looking for yet another place.

He has to be moved from that hospital-find another place they say.

Some want money up front-big joke-

So we file for Medicaid and hope in the meantime that they have

room in the same place where I am.

They have an Alzheimer wing.

If he is near I will feel so much better.

So we are now March 15 the Ides of March, the old tax date and

I was born 78 years ago!

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