Friday, April 20, 2012


The state of Washington just legalized same-sex marriage. One state at a time, we’ll get there! Yes, one state at a time BUT I can bet you that it will not be N.C. Voting is on May 5th. Several TV ads are on and they usually start with :"I am a good Christian...BUT...." I live in the Bible Belt. I am fine with letting every one believe what they want and like. I was born in a Catholic country, 97% then were Catholics, I do not know the latest figures, I do know that all my peers (still alive) and their families have left the church. After an argument with a priest who refused to baptize my daughter by the name of "Rhonda" and used "Elizabeth" without our permission....well, he sort of lost me. His argument was that we needed to contribute to the school fund and he would make an exception. My daughter still had her baby eyes crossed let alone be ready for school. We were very strapped for money and I refused to be blackmailed. I left the church. Good choice because after my divorce they would have thrown me out anyway. I had been brainwashed by nuns so I wanted to see what else I could live with the Episcopal Church was the next step, and I will not bore anyone with all the other searches of mine, most of them my NC acquaintances would say they were occult. My spiritual journey is absolutely my own business and if people can't understand that I am very sorry. My best friend is Jewish, we have known each other for 55 years. She has listened to my "new age" speeches, I have gone to some of the Jewish services, my friend was there when I lost my faith altogether. Neither one of us have tried to change our minds on anything this personal. I value her opinion a lot but she will not get into our views on angels, saints, Jesus, the Trinity and I will not question the rituals she abides with. We are friends with lots of love, we are sisters, misplaced at birth. So this business of marriage has me baffled. When I grew up my father was a policeman in Belgium. He arrested men for being gay and threw them in jail. He visited the red light district and checked the paperwork of the working girls, they were legal. These "chores" were part of his duties. I was too little to understand any of this. I heard grown ups talking about someone being "verkeerde" read "wrong". My childhood was filled with abuse verbal and physical from a mother who had many mental issues, unconditional love was not in her dictionary. I had that at the house of my Aunts. Two women who were "spinsters" (said my Mom) and lived their whole life together while they did wonders with needles and thread. They had a very rich life, knew the right people, dressed in silks and their original designs. They had so much love for me that I could not wait to get to their house when my Mom was ill. I was not spoiled, I was full of respect for them, I knew if I did something wrong I would not be beaten but get a verbal reprimand and I avoided that at all costs. I did not to want to disappoint them. I knew them as "Tantes" . One was my father's sister and the other a very good friend. I never saw anything that I should not see, never heard talk about their relationship, not even in my adulthood. My mother would never accept there was anything else between them. This I had asked her very late in her life. She quickly replied :NO NO NO nothing like that with these two. I saw the love and respect they had for each other, how they managed their accounts, their work schedule, the chores. I saw some bickering but not like the fights I saw at home. This place was heaven to me. These women were the glue that kept it together for me, there was always the hope that I could go to their house. In my high school years I would often walk to their house and surprise them and always the smiles were there. "Look who is, Germaine, our girl is here." They made my first ball gown and I can still see all the stitches (by hand) to hold it all together. It would be en vogue today with the one "greek" shoulder as they called it. When I married my second husband, the joy of my life, I was introduced to a different world. Away from the cooking, baking and cleaning and square dancing I was thrown into a San Francisco world. The ballet (my husband sketched many scenes, wrote their reviews for the Ballet magazine) antique dealers by the dozen, interior decorators, painters and writers. It was the age of Acquarius and hippies. Burning bra's and beads not to mention drugs. I was being treated for panic attacks (unknown then) so dr. gave me Valium. I was lucky not to get too attached to them but I did not want to try other drugs. Many were still legal then even LSD. At a tea gathering of dancers we were offered tea but we were late for our bus so we ran home, only later did we find out that they had LSD in the tea and were taking notes on reactions to the drugs. That was a close call. We had to be home before the girls came home from school. The new life introduced me to a great many gay people. They had not crossed my path with the first marriage. I soon found out that no one was trying to change my mind about my sexual preference neither did anyone ever touch me inappropriately (I can't say that about straight men). Every one knew their place. I became friends, very good friends with many. Unfortunately some left us in the early stages of Aids in the city. Please do not tell me that this was God's plan. I cringe when I hear that. Is God not supposed to be a loving God? This long blog comes down to May 5th. I do not care if it thunders and the sky throws ice balls at us, I will be at the polls and I will vote against this amendment. Everyone , everyone, should have a right to live their life the way they want to. What anyone does behind the bedroom door is none of my business. What rights they should have as a married couple is my business they should have what I had during my life. They should be able to visit at the hospital to make life or death decisions for their loved one. To be able to have insurances for both and make out wills that are valid. Just to name a few. They should be able to be employed and to not have bullies or name calling. I would have missed a lot in life had I not been able to be loved by gay people. See you May 5th and please vote against this amendment. Thank you.

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