Saturday, September 22, 2012


Brie on the phone on Wednesday said:
MoM, I have it all planned, we will have a fun day on Friday.

OK, said I, knowing I have to see my urologist and I do not count that as "fun" but a must "do". I also know Zack will have a morning test for his numbers at the Cancer Clinic. Also no fun but in between we could have a nice lunch and visit the Hospice store. Yes, I told myself it will be fun. I have not seen Zack in awhile and I look forward for that.

By Thursday Sabrina calls me and said she is in terrible pain in the intestine area.
As she describe I worry about the appendix or diverticulitus , I do know about that as I have it infected at times.
She refuses to go to Urgent Care.

Friday morning I am all dressed and ready and my urologist calls: "He has an emergency and can not see me today". As this happen they drive up the driveway and I wonder if I should stay home or go with them. Yes, it may be a fun day and I want to be with Zack so we take off. Brie is dubbling over the steering wheel in pain.
OK girl you go to Urgent Care.....she answers:"I will wait till tomorrow"
After much nagging she agrees that she needs to see somebody.

We get into the clinic first for Zack's test. He has on a white Tshirt and his face matches it, his lips are white. I can't remember ever seeing such white lips before.
Tests go out and I talk with him.
"Zack does it bother you a lot to have your hair gone?"
"not that much, Meme, because I keep my hat on all the time".
"I will be glad when it comes back".

Nurse comes in and tells him that the numbers are very low and he needs 2 more units of blood. He looks at her and smiles. OK. She has no idea when the blood will come so here we are it is 11.00 AM.
The door closes behind her and I see his his eyes with tears, he lowers his hat over his face, he does not want us to see that he is crying. We try to comfort him, mother and grandmother but he answers that he is so angry.

All he wanted was to go and work on his car.
From experience we know we will not be out of here until about 5 PM.
Make it 5.20 when we did.

Sabrina in the meantime goes to Urgent care and they take Xrays and find out she does have diverticulitis, they give her medication and tell her to be better by
Sunday or come back.

Zack and I in the clinic are quietly watching the History Channel.Not my favorite subjects, hunters in Alaska, NC, and Montana.....but i concentrate while he falls asleep. They gave him Benadryl. The face looks whiter and whiter, probably my imagination. Nurse checks his vitals often and now he has a fever....
his bp is low, I watch monitors. He is sitting in a chair which vibrates and makes you warm too, he had turned on the heat and the nurse turns it off. Soon the fever is gone.

I can't nap I feel like I am here to watch him and I am not allowed to nap, I watch dead animals and smiling hunters.
Sabrina comes back around 2.00 with Wendys salad I had ordered, I smell french fries in the bag, why in the hell did I not order french fries.
I eat my salad do not say a word but soon I will grab that bag from somebody, later I see they threw it in the garbage.....

Brie lies down on the couch and puts her head on my lap. My baby is hurting so very much. I remember, this stuff hurts. Finally she snores....the blood comes...they have to attach it to the port, she can't find his veins. He goes back to sleep, Brie is still snoring and I find the gadget and change the channel to Judge Judy, I am feeling pretty good, watching my two angels asleep, no pain for the moment and Judge Judy telling someone that he is an idiot.

When we get out we are hungry and go for a steak for Zack, he has not eaten much this past week. He lost weight, I can see it. I walk in first I hear the girl talking to them but I do not know what she said. I sit at the table and watch Zack sitting in front of me without his hat. I thought it strange, we order and he is eating a huge steak, I love it when people enjoy their food. His head is down and he looks uncomfortable, I ask why his hat is off and then they tell me that the girl at the entrance had told him that it is required for him to take his hat off.
If I had heard that we would have walked out immediately, now we are midway of our meal. I am pissed, no other word to describe my mood in a lady like way.
As soon as we are done I ask for the check so we can get out of here.
I approach someone but boss is out, I tell them I will not return and explain that the rules sometimes should be broken.

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