For the first time in 10 weeks I am at peace with Bob being in a nursing home.
Visited him tonight and he was not too concerned about Sabrina or I.
He was showing the cards which came from his sister and nieces.
He was very confused about it all but was rattling on about something that we just could not make out.
Then we slowly walked down the hall to the exit and he did not mind that we went instead he stopped at the ladies lined outside their rooms. They just Sit in a wheel chair or almost falling out of it. He took one little shrivelled hand and kissed it like a gentleman and smiled at her.
I thought my heart was going to jump out of my chest.
That was my old Bob, the gentle caring soul, he was back in his element.
The nurse saw my emotion and said :"Yes, he takes care of this wing, he is our caregiver!!!!"
When I came home I finally relaxed and thought that now this was his mission.
Imagine an old lady just sitting in a chair waiting to die and then someone picks up her hand and gives it a kiss.
Even if she had a stroke or has Alzheimer I just know that she must feel his caring and warmth.
I will sleep better tonight knowing that he is now the caregiver.
I have to know that he does more good there than sitting here by the window all day and falling asleep. He has purpose there and that I never expected.
His staying with me all these years was more about me. I had promised that I would watch him , my own health came in the way and yet I must know that he is in the right place at the right time.