Friday, July 29, 2011

the week that was.........

Friday and end of the month.
The government is in shambles....leave it to the Republicans.........
still no vote at this late moment.....
social security checks may be late....
can we tell the electricity company that they have to wait too???

Some odd circumstances brought me to the attention of the passing of a man
who once was my husband for 17 years and fathered my gorgeous women/daughters.
I have to thank him for the help in that case.

He was 82 and his wife 59. I do hope that she had a great time with him and that he stopped his chasing and infidelity.

I had not given the man much thought during my last 4 decades.
I was just so darn happy with Bob who was such gentle, loving man.
Our son reminds me so much of him as he has the same basic ideals of honesty and decency.

My girls grew up in an art world, visits to Museums, opera's ,travels and living in a Spain for 5 years. It was a great life with feast or famine but I always managed to get us fed as my contour will attest. A true artist is a very different persona then the rest of us , Bob was that, he loved old ladies with wrinkles so he could paint them, he loved flowers and trees for watercolors and still lifes.
With him I learned to pay attention to colors, nature , forms, and what beauty is.

So back to husband numero uno , does a long term relationship when you are young, foolish and trusting also make you a widow again? In that case I must be a black widow (just kidding here) 2 husbands in one year? Gone!

Truly I am just joking here, Joe (numero uno) was no longer a part of my daily thoughts, unfortunately, he came back in my dreams after Bob died. Go figure!
Night after night he was there, young, (I never saw him old) full of beans as he was a joker and he was cheating on me and I would cry buckets. Night after night.
I would get up so angry and it would take me a few minutes to get back to the reality of my daily life.

In my case I would tell anyone who cheats on their relationship, women or men, that they probably have no idea what trauma this causes to a person who was trusting.
Trust does not come back with ease, took me years to trust Bob.
The pain is with you for a very long time and actually for me it must be somewhere in my mind to return in my dreams after 4 decades +.

Joe I read in his obit was in Belgium on a visit and died from a stroke....
it was on June 8th 2011....on that day my husband Bob would have been 85 if he was still with us.....

Weird!

No comments: