Sunday, December 30, 2007

Wet, wet Sunday

Wet but we need the rain.
Unfortunately I was without a ride to work so I had to walk in the rain.
I love to walk in the rain but somehow when one is not in the mood and
the shoes are getting wet and I have to be there in takes on a different less romantic tone.

I believe that this is the hardest for me in this adventure in our life.
Bob had to stop driving. For the safety of all of us.
It was a very hard decision that I made for him.
He has not forgiven me yet.
It has been 3 years now.
I do not drive so now at 75 I have the regret that I could not master this simple chore.
The truth is that I probably would have killed myself by now.
I drove for 4 years in my younger stages.
I was always frightened and I was never comfortable while driving.
I drove barefoot, I needed to feel the peddle.
I drove with both feet, ready to step on that brake but I know that is dangerous too.
I have directional problems.
It takes me a few seconds to know where is left or right.
It is a form of dyslexia so in my heart I know this was not for me. to be in a small town without a car is extremely difficult.

I have good bosses they make sure I have a ride to and fro except for week ends
when we are short of help.
Today my boss was very ill at home and the other one on vacation.
I could not get a hold of daughter nr 1 and I walked to work.
I arrived slightly soaking even with my umbrella and I hope to stay away
from a cold as I sneezed all morning.
Guess I will hurry to the Juice Plus for help.

Asking for help is my hardest problem in life.
I want so to be self efficient, self supporting, asking for anything just hurts.

I have a friend who is in her 80's and I have known her for 25 years and she never
had a problem asking for whatever she wants.
Yes, she becomes a pill but she does not seem to know that.
It is, get me this and do that for me and on and on.
I shudder to think I would become like that.

So giving up the wheels in this household was just devastating.
Bob tells me I took his car away, his license etc...
he gets mad even now and I am lost with0ut his driving me as he
always did with so much joy.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Shame on you for walking in the rain. I would have picked you up, but you told me you had a ride already. Shame, shame.... Cathy is gonna getcha now. Love you Mom. Sabrina