Yesterday I lost my marbles. They had been rattling in my brain all day. By night fall I decided perhaps I should start thinking about getting Bob into the VA nursing care.
Then I talked to Sabrina and she said we would start with a call to the social worker.
Then I went to bed , tucked in Bob put up the lounge chair against the bed so he would not fall out. Crawled next to him while watching TV that I did not even comprehend and then he took
my hand (like he always does) and I lost it.
The marbles got back into place in my confused crazy head. I said out loud:
I can't let you go. I just can't let you go.
I made a promise - again- not to let him go to a care unit.
Perhaps, I told myself, if and when he is bedridden and I can't handle to pick him up
and all that, perhaps then................now........no way.
What was I thinking?