Every Christmas we wondered if dad would still be here.
Last year he had problems with the crowd but sat in his
chair and looked confused.
I think we no longer said "will he be here next year".
He is gone.
Last year we did not expect that I would break my ankle and that he would land in a nursing home.....
I miss him so much.
I canceled all celebrations because I can't be false and sit and be merry when
the tears are always right there at the door waiting to fall unto the cheeks.
I do not want to be a drama queen.
I do not want to spoil it for others and yet I did.
I feel I need quiet and lots of sleep.
Wherever you are, Mr Christmas nut , come and ``tell me it will be ok.
I love you and miss you.
This is a horrible evening,