Thursday, July 12, 2012

hot hot hot

What is it that when you reach the golden age you discover that you are just gold plated and the tag stamped on your derriere "18 K" was just fraudulent.

Really ...I now have a bunch of hardware where my perfect ankle used to be.
One gold plated kidney turned green altogether and was removed.
Then I fall like millions of people do every day but the backbone is brittle,
one little bone is stamped L1 and another L2 they were hardly worthy of a
"gold filled" stamp, the people in the know tell me that I needed more "D".
So "they" tell me :"You have a broken back".
I ask: can you wire it like my ankle maybe using 14 K which is supposed to be stronger than 18K? Answer: "NO".

So now and then it smarts a bit and I get up and grunt a bit or say ouchie like the little kids. I do not mean to do that but it relieves some stress in your mind and you really want to say something stronger. So Brie heard my grunt last week and she
yelled from the other room: "Mom did you hurt yourself?" I answered:"Yes, dear, last year!". Oh Oh was her reply.

Taking all this in consideration I am starting to think that I am doing quite well,
it is all in the attitude....then the heat came...even 100 F greeted our "cool" mountains. I walk the dog and I am grasping for air, what the...., I bend down like I will find better air at one foot from the ground but it is not happening.
I get up and have a feeling I will faint. That will not be pretty, I quickly wonder if indeed I have underwear on or will I shock all of Valley Street. Bijou looks at me wondering what is holding me up from his treat when he gets home.
Minutes go by which are truly just seconds and I regain enough wind in the pipes to finish the walk....I can see my hedge ...I will not faint...I am good...I tell myself all these right thoughts but the breathing is so shallow and it feels like the throat is just going to shut down.

When I see the steps I am delighted, if I pass out here at least Bobby will find me and it will be less of an embarrassment .....I get in and the room turns black
but I do not fall...I find a chair and fall into it and put the head between the legs...this is no longer a joke....

I do not get back to normal breathing for at least one hour.
A nurse friend tells me it happens to "old people" all the time.
The air has been very bad, she tells me, and the humidity can be sliced like fresh bread. Old people can't be out at 100 degrees if they have ersatz lungs like mine.

Is this heatwave a thing of our future? We did not have a winter to talk about.
I know a lot of people do not think we have global warming but this is not funny anymore.

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