In the last 8 weeks or so our own family world has been upside down.
How did we handle it?
I can truly only speak for myself. I see the pain in others eyes but I do not know what in fact is making them to continue one step at a time and one day at a time.
I have solace, I now drink too much coffee (with caffeine- a no no) I run to the fridge whenever a tear comes in the duct ,like this is a permission to go and eat "something" any thing.
My scale tells me stories, the batteries must be low....
The one person who has taught me something is Zack.
The man/child. He looks healthy, he had trimmed my hedge just some weeks ago, works like a man and with a smile. He has dimples when he smiles.
This guy was never sick. His pediatrician must have filed his paperwork in the trash years ago. He would have a headache or an upset stomach but if a friend came in to invite him out he was healed.
He had more doctors look at him in the last weeks than I have seen my whole life.
He had surgery to remove the "cyst", he had needles put in him in every office he visited. He was shoved into giant machines, not one but several, I honestly lost count.
He was put back in "lalaland" to remove lymph nodes and put needles into both hips and remove bone marrow. (that was for sure an "ouchie" when he woke up and several days after.
His only complaints were about not being able to eat after 9 PM.
Then not having the tests like at 4PM the next day.
His reward: The steak house after the torture.
The kid is incredible, he does not run around bringing every body down, he tells his friend to just have fun now while he can. We smile and laugh and wonder if he can see how phony we are, how we want to take it all away from him. How we would gladly trade places...he is too young to have to deal with this.
Yet he does like a trouper, I am amazed at him, I am truly in shock on how little he shows us IF he is worried or frightened.
He sat with us on Saturday at the 1940's ice cream parlor where Elvis is King and he ordered a giant banana split. I watched him eat it with gusto. He does not save his whipped cream for later like I do but delves into it layer by layer, cream, ice cream, bananas, then the chocolate sauce. One can see how good it tastes by the
gorgeous brown eyes twinkling. He loves his ice cream!!!!!
He runs around with his pals and they are all hanging around him. They do not speak much about his condition. He tells them that he has 4 doctors on his team and he is tire4d of listening to them and what they predict. He says F'it lets play football.
He is missing the one year when school is more or less fun in High School, he was going to be on the football team. He was looking forward to that.
This is a big year.
The only idea of "poor me" is only about his hair.
He put on Facebook for his friends to see : I likes my hair!!!!!
He has been my sweetie pie when he "lived with us " in the shop till preschool, he now is my teddy bear, he can pick me up and I am not a dainty small old lady.
He protects me all the time. Tells me to watch this and that step, asks me if I need anything. He lost his other Grandma who loved him so much, and then his Grandpa who was his artist hero (he collects his work) ,he is hanging on to two other grandparents. He loves us and it shows.
He is my hero and I am learning from him every day.