Saturday, August 6, 2011

the brutal honesty .......

people who know me, know that I tell it like it is.
No bandages, no pretending, I am who I am, would I like to improve? yup, I surely would and I strive for it all the time, it does not always work.

The girl in Bob's life is a plus.
I said it before, he now laughs a lot and tries to walk a bit further away from the house, it is a good start.

I run ,again, 2 businesses, eBay and my shop in Brevard, it remains to be seen if I will make money. I also sell a great deal of my "collections" time to try simplicity.

Simplicity! It has never worked before, we always were working out of this house.
At first Bob and I made our Santas on the kitchen table, rabbit fur was everywhere, creeping into the nostrils even and in parts we did not know we had.
We had so much fun but the house was such a shambles. Fabrics here and there and a sewing machine here and there. We worked hard until we rented a studio above our shop and that became our haven for fur and fabrics.

We did shows for years and years, high end craft shows, the Father Christmas dolls sold for 175.00 and we never made the same one twice.
We did art shows all over the Eastern seaboard with Bob's work.
We did antique shows in Atlanta, Charlotte, Mount Dora when it was antique heaven and on and on.....
The unloading of stuff often in the house and starting all over again next Friday.
We were not allowed to make this a commercial site but we should have.
Bob took in restorations and paintings with holes were to be found in every corner waiting for the master.

I can work in chaos. I am not orderly, never have been, and that is what I want to change...and then I buy hundreds of different beads ,chains, threads tools all for the necklaces I make. It is another puzzle ....I am trying to sort them all out as they come in and then when I start making a necklace I mess them up trying to find THE bead I want. Excuses , excuses, to try and tell myself that I am OK..I can't be like Sabrina who used to empty the ashtray of her husband as soon as he had a bud in it. She is a bit better now, at home we call that the cleaning sickness.
Here it is OCD, I think.

So....I sat down this lovely lady who is new in our lives and said:
It was very hot this week, I did not do anything to prepare for company..the floor needs washing and I have beads on the table which I need to prepare for their dear girl, you have to learn to take me warts and all, I will no longer scramble to get everything in order before you come into the door.
You have to take me as I am....

She was polite and smiled.....wonder what she thought....does it matter to me?
Yes, it matters a lot what people think about me and how dumb is that?
I have lived a long life with ups and downs as we all have and I am the product of it all.......

Now I better go and clear my desk.............or not

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